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Yeah, they're the only kids I'll ever have. As has been said, they're more loyal than people. They'll never abandon you, betray you or otherwise **** with you the way people are apt to do. There are times when I tell myself that I'm not good for people other than in small doses. That I would...

I see a therapist every week, and have been since the fall. As for the dogs, I've got three German Shepherds. They're my boys. One is slowly dying of cancer, but he's not ready yet. When things are dark, sometimes all I have to do is look them in the eyes, and the feelings of guilt shake me...

The masks we wear. The walls we hide behind. Yup.

Thanks @RandomHero thank you for sharing that. I often wonder how many other people think about "it". You know, THAT "it". I'll be at the gym, or anywhere really, and wonder to myself, "What does 'suicidal' look like? Imagine if anyone here realized that the guy on the bench next to you, the...

One of the things that does worry me is wondering about that feeling of alone-ness, combined with deep feelings of loneliness. Is that something that will ever go away? The quality/duration of life when I feel that longing but always apart from it. That fear of getting hurt, rejected, etc. Being...

In regards to that specifically, I don't like when that has happened to me. I won't do it to someone else. It would haunt me. For better or worse, I have a conscience, and yes, I feel. When I screw up, hurt someone else, I feel bad about it. I try my best to own my ****. I want to make things...

Did those things that you focused on help? Did you heal?

I've managed to stay sober for pretty much over 4 years now. Lately, yeah, I've been thinking about it. What would happen if I started again. I haven't though. I'm not sure why, but I haven't. I've really put in a lot of time and effort in at that gym and I do see results. Part of me doesn't...

Thanks freaks. In regards to the gym, I've been going seven days a week for months now. It helps keep the bad at bay. It's no cure, but I swear by it. Like I said, I'm functioning. I still struggle with the internal dialog, ruminations, and intrusive thoughts, but hitting the gym and regular...

I try to keep my head up. I do. It doesn't make the hurt go away, or hurt any less. I know I'm not always right. Of course not. I'm incredibly fallible. But I know when something has been done that is wrong. It bothers me. I let it get to me. I can't seem to just dismiss it. Indifference to the...

Thanks. I do spend a lot of time wondering about this, along with the "broader picture". Is a life considered fulfilling if it's not shared with anyone else? I worry about that. The truth is, or at least it seems this way, no one looks forward to seeing me, hearing from me, or spending time...

I often ask myself how and why people who end up showing themselves as being not what I perceived/wished them to be, could hurt me to this degree. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, to want to see good in them. And in my heart, I did see good at one time. I did. I don't see it now...

A friend, a close friend, who you can depend on when things seem to be at their worst, is a hard thing to come by. At least, it seems that way to me. As @Scout Trooper said, it makes it seem that getting close to someone is a bad thing. Opening up and trusting someone will only lead to hurt...

It really does **** you up. It really does. I have been spiraling ever since. Functioning. But inside, a world of hurt. A day doesn't go by, without thinking about it. Going to dark places so often, it becomes, for lack of a better term, normal.

Apologies for derailing the thread. And thanks, freaks. More often than not, especially over the past eight months or so, I have felt like a freak. And not in the "old" board sense of the word. Even in moments of clarity, seeing the truth, how some people really are beneath their masks, I find...

That's one of those things that although people say it, "You're not alone", it's something that never seems to be reassuring enough. I've personally never felt more alone in my entire life. It makes it all the more worse when you realize that those who you truly cared about, do not care about...

Oh I have been.

No. Just losing interest in the hobby, and life in general. It isn't bringing much enjoyment any more. At best, it's a temporary (and empty) distraction from what's underlying everything else.

If anyone wants this one, mine is en route, but I'm not going to need it. Let me know if you're interested. I'll sell it at cost plus whatever shipping you prefer.

If anyone wants to buy my deposit/order from Onesixthkit for the haired version, let me know. I have no use for it anymore. @Kit Chen please let me know if this is okay or if I should just let the deposit go to waste. Thanks.