DannieDarKo
Destined Tragic Soul
In light of the recent success of our first questionnaire, we at Sideshow Collectibles have felt the need to revise the guidelines for becoming a “true collector.” Due to the overwhelming amount of people “passing” the test, and the Gay Dolphin population increasing exponentially, we feel that one of our “true collectors” has in fact become a Gay Dolphin and has leaked the proper answers to the test, in an attempt to infiltrate are lofty ranks. We have luckily weeded out the Gay Dolphins who managed to cheat their way to true collector status, and now offer up to you our new and improved true collector application. Fear not fellow “true collectors”, for it may seem more difficult to the average Gay Dolphin, but a true “true collector” should have no problem passing.
1.When you pass a Gay Dolphin on the street, do you let him know how much you disapprove of his chosen lifestyle?
2.Is gray your favorite color?
3.When you think of the Gay Dolphin lifestyle, does it make you feel sick?
4.When you think of the “true collector” lifestyle, does it make you feel good?
5.If you knew a family member was a Gay Dolphin, would you take the necessary steps to prevent them from spreading their vile disease.
6. Do you realize the immense cost in the fabrication of blue pants?
7.Do you think that 179 is the perfect number?
8.Do you believe that heaven is a place reserved only for “true collectors.”
9.Is it okay for Gay Dolphins to be involved in the process of making one of your desired collectibles?
10. Do you like chocolate chip cookies?
That is the end of the test. Here are the answers. Grade yourself and be honest.
1. Yes. When passing a Gay Dolphin on the street, not only should you let them know you disapprove of them, you should show it as well. Preferably by throwing rotten vegetables at them and sticking foreign objects in their blowholes.
2.Yes. Every true collector knows that Gray is the most beautiful color. It is the rarest of all colors, making it highly desirable for us true collectors. Rumors abound that only 10 gallons of Gray point are left in this world and Sideshow has nine of them. Sadly the 10th gallon is believed to be in the possession of an upper level Gay Dolphin.
3.Yes. How can it not. These “people” and we use that term loosely, make their living buying and selling off the hopes and dreams of true collectors everywhere.
4.Of course. How can you not feel good knowing that God loves you the most and chosen you to spread his message of true collecterism around the world.
5.Yes. Kill them. If you would like you can also torture them for you own amusement.
6.Yes. It is widely known to true collectors how expensive blue pants are to make. Like gray paint, blue fabric has become a rare commodity. We here at Sideshow contain the last swatches of blue fabric in existence and must charge accordingly when used. Every time it is used on a rare collectible, not only is the collectible rare, but the blue pants on the collectible. Sadly like gray paint there will come a day when collectors will no longer be able to purchase new items featuring gray paintjobs and expensive blue pants.
7.Yes. 179 is indeed the perfect number. As it is written in the limited edition Sideshow Bible signed by Jesus, the first true collector, who was crucified at the hands of Gay Dolphins: “I say unto you, my true collector children, that henceforth 179 will be the perfect number and is only reserved for those special collectibles that are worthy of such a number and edition size.” This passage is from the Gospel according to Chicky, verse 7, chapter 9.
8.Of course it is. Heaven is a vast warehouse filled with every rare collectible you missed in your lifetime to the hands of an evil Gay Dolphin.
9. Of course it is. Because if for some reason you don’t kill a Gay Dolphin, you should at least make them your slave.
10.Yes, chocolate chip cookies are the Sideshow Approved True Collector cookie. How can any true collector resist a warm doughy chocolate chip cookie. They were Jesus’ favorite as well. Also, for our “true collectors” we at Sideshow offer our highly limited and highly delectable Gray Cookies with blue Chocolate chips. This is the rarest and most beautiful cookie on earth.
Thanks for taking the test. We hope you are worthy enough to join are true collector ranks. And always remember a the best Gay Dolphin is either dead or your slave.
Yours Truly,
The Sideshow Collectibles Team
1.When you pass a Gay Dolphin on the street, do you let him know how much you disapprove of his chosen lifestyle?
2.Is gray your favorite color?
3.When you think of the Gay Dolphin lifestyle, does it make you feel sick?
4.When you think of the “true collector” lifestyle, does it make you feel good?
5.If you knew a family member was a Gay Dolphin, would you take the necessary steps to prevent them from spreading their vile disease.
6. Do you realize the immense cost in the fabrication of blue pants?
7.Do you think that 179 is the perfect number?
8.Do you believe that heaven is a place reserved only for “true collectors.”
9.Is it okay for Gay Dolphins to be involved in the process of making one of your desired collectibles?
10. Do you like chocolate chip cookies?
That is the end of the test. Here are the answers. Grade yourself and be honest.
1. Yes. When passing a Gay Dolphin on the street, not only should you let them know you disapprove of them, you should show it as well. Preferably by throwing rotten vegetables at them and sticking foreign objects in their blowholes.
2.Yes. Every true collector knows that Gray is the most beautiful color. It is the rarest of all colors, making it highly desirable for us true collectors. Rumors abound that only 10 gallons of Gray point are left in this world and Sideshow has nine of them. Sadly the 10th gallon is believed to be in the possession of an upper level Gay Dolphin.
3.Yes. How can it not. These “people” and we use that term loosely, make their living buying and selling off the hopes and dreams of true collectors everywhere.
4.Of course. How can you not feel good knowing that God loves you the most and chosen you to spread his message of true collecterism around the world.
5.Yes. Kill them. If you would like you can also torture them for you own amusement.
6.Yes. It is widely known to true collectors how expensive blue pants are to make. Like gray paint, blue fabric has become a rare commodity. We here at Sideshow contain the last swatches of blue fabric in existence and must charge accordingly when used. Every time it is used on a rare collectible, not only is the collectible rare, but the blue pants on the collectible. Sadly like gray paint there will come a day when collectors will no longer be able to purchase new items featuring gray paintjobs and expensive blue pants.
7.Yes. 179 is indeed the perfect number. As it is written in the limited edition Sideshow Bible signed by Jesus, the first true collector, who was crucified at the hands of Gay Dolphins: “I say unto you, my true collector children, that henceforth 179 will be the perfect number and is only reserved for those special collectibles that are worthy of such a number and edition size.” This passage is from the Gospel according to Chicky, verse 7, chapter 9.
8.Of course it is. Heaven is a vast warehouse filled with every rare collectible you missed in your lifetime to the hands of an evil Gay Dolphin.
9. Of course it is. Because if for some reason you don’t kill a Gay Dolphin, you should at least make them your slave.
10.Yes, chocolate chip cookies are the Sideshow Approved True Collector cookie. How can any true collector resist a warm doughy chocolate chip cookie. They were Jesus’ favorite as well. Also, for our “true collectors” we at Sideshow offer our highly limited and highly delectable Gray Cookies with blue Chocolate chips. This is the rarest and most beautiful cookie on earth.
Thanks for taking the test. We hope you are worthy enough to join are true collector ranks. And always remember a the best Gay Dolphin is either dead or your slave.
Yours Truly,
The Sideshow Collectibles Team
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