Star Wars: The Acolyte

[Sassafras]

the answer will either be the laziest option or the most stupid one.

I don't care. It's like having to sit through the Eternals only 10x worse. This needs to be over so we can move on to Skeleton Crew, which sounds like a return to SW normalcy thank C&%$#.

 

[Wor-Gar]

This needs to be over so we can move on to ______________, which sounds like a return to SW normalcy

You guys say that about every show Disney puts up.

 

[Khev]

can you really take that latest 'Fresh' review seriously?

It does indeed address the recent problems of Star Wars directly...with open arms!

 

[Asta]

This needs to be over so we can move on to Skeleton Crew, which sounds like a return to SW normalcy thank C&%$#.

Out of the blue came a kill-crazy crew
Whose motto was stomp on the weak
With bones in their hair
They was hungry as bears
And their leader was King of the freaks
They was... Space Pirates
The lowest scum of the yellow sun
They was... Space Pirates
Sack a galaxy just for fun
(fire away)
Well now, out of the blue came this wolf pack who knew
That the name of the game was to hate
Perverts and pimps followed one-legged gimps
They was bow legged *******s of fate
They was... Space Pirates
Skulls lie white on the Martian sands
They was... Space Pirates
Empires ransom in their hands
(people were scared)
Out of the blue came this mind-blowing zoo
A collection of mutated crud
Death on their hips
There was foam on their lips
And behind them a shadow of blood
They was... Space Pirates
Broken bodies and twisted minds
They was... Space Pirates
Screaming nightmares left behind
Out of the blue came a kill-crazy crew
Whose motto was stomp on the weak
Bones in their hair
They was hungry as bears
And their leader was King of the freaks
They was... Space Pirates
The lowest scum of the yellow sun
They was... Space Pirates
Sack a galaxy just for fun

 

[Wor-Gar]

This looks like that sounds...

 

[Mandible]

Aren't Wookies supposed to be tough?? What a P**** this Wookie Jedi must've been!!

I mean, look at the wound? He couldn't even survive what looks like a lightsaber slash across the chest. I mean, Reeeeeeva and Sabine were impaled with a lightsaber and it was inside them for a few seconds, yet it was barely a flesh wound for them....

Loser....

He's got a man-bun... nothing tough about this Wookie.

 

[Ramatuelle]

Out of the blue came a kill-crazy crew
Whose motto was stomp on the weak
With bones in their hair
They was hungry as bears
And their leader was King of the freaks
They was... Space Pirates

This sounds like some bang-up Star Wars to me, can we get this in a show...?

You know, its sad. Every single person on these forums, well excepting a few, could think up a better show than these so-called professionals. We could have thought up a BoBF show that would have had people hanging off the rafters to watch it. HOW can you effing mess up Star Wars?! Its not rocket science, puns not intended! You got bad guys, good guys, blasters and energy swords. Its easy-peasy! And yet. Somehow it seems not to be.

 

[wormlander]

Out of the blue came a kill-crazy crew
Whose motto was stomp on the weak
With bones in their hair
They was hungry as bears
And their leader was King of the freaks
They was... Space Pirates
The lowest scum of the yellow sun
They was... Space Pirates
Sack a galaxy just for fun
(fire away)
Well now, out of the blue came this wolf pack who knew
That the name of the game was to hate
Perverts and pimps followed one-legged gimps
They was bow legged *******s of fate
They was... Space Pirates
Skulls lie white on the Martian sands
They was... Space Pirates
Empires ransom in their hands
(people were scared)
Out of the blue came this mind-blowing zoo
A collection of mutated crud
Death on their hips
There was foam on their lips
And behind them a shadow of blood
They was... Space Pirates
Broken bodies and twisted minds
They was... Space Pirates
Screaming nightmares left behind
Out of the blue came a kill-crazy crew
Whose motto was stomp on the weak
Bones in their hair
They was hungry as bears
And their leader was King of the freaks
They was... Space Pirates
The lowest scum of the yellow sun
They was... Space Pirates
Sack a galaxy just for fun

Not sure if this particular artist did drugs while writing this. If not, maybe he should have? Just saying...

 

[Johnny Utah]

 

[Asta]

Not sure if this particular artist did drugs while writing this. If not, maybe he should have? Just saying...

You're not wrong.

John Entwistle (The Who) died due to a heart attack induced by an undetermined amount of cocaine.

Alice Cooper went into rehab for alcoholism, which spawned the album 'From The Inside, because he said the sanitarium was like One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.

And yet, they both probably made more sense than the writers involved with The Acolyte.

 

[jye4ever]

Sad. I want to hit 12% now.

It's like a game. I'm imagining a peak bottom of 9%.

0% or GTFO!

 

[Felinx]

This looks like that sounds...

Did this thing ever get a Hasbro figure, or did even they not want to touch this goofy monstrosity of a design?

 

[Sassafras]

Did this thing ever get a Hasbro figure.....

It'd sell better than the peg warmers put out for this show.

 

[e30ernest]

https://screenrant.com/star-wars-the-acolyte-viewership-data-real-indicator/

 

[Asta]

https://screenrant.com/star-wars-the-acolyte-viewership-data-real-indicator/

This was the previous set of figures that were released by Luminate:

Doctor Disaster: "The Acolyte is getting crushed in all ways. This is easily the worst received Star Wars in the history of the franchise."

When Disney boasted that The Acolyte had 11.1 million views in the first five days, they neglected to mention the fact that those were the global numbers.


"The data analytics firm, Luminate, has publicly released the first week viewership numbers for The Acolyte in the United States, and it looks terrible for The Acolyte. In it's premier week The Acolyte got only 210 million minutes watched in the US."

"For comparison, according to Nielsen, Ahsoka got 829 million minutes viewed in it's first week. Meaning The Acolyte got beat by damn near four times the amount of minutes viewed."

Episode 3 was bound to have a big increase over the first week, because the critics who'd watched it were touting it would bring about the death of Star Wars.

The series is still 14% bad, but as with most of those posting in this thread, the majority of viewers are likely only watching to see how bad it is and make fun of it.

 

[Felinx]

https://screenrant.com/star-wars-the-acolyte-viewership-data-real-indicator/

Acolyte outside the top five and pipped by a documentary series "Hitler and the Nazis".... damnit, damnit, damn those Nazis!

And ah, an article that tells us "what's really going on" by framing it as "Star Wars fandom has always been prone to division."

 

[The Buffinator]

https://screenrant.com/star-wars-the-acolyte-viewership-data-real-indicator/

The people writing these articles need to get a clue. High viewership numbers for a SW show like this is not an indicator of its quality, nor does it mean that we're still watching it because we like what we're seeing - i.e., it does not invalidate the abysmally low audience score or prove that score is the result of review bombing. The reviews are bad because the show is bombing, and we're still watching because we either (a) are clinging to the desperate hope that it can somehow be salvaged or (b) like a car wreck we simply can't look away. Mostly (b) lol...

 

[Sassafras]

The people writing these articles need to get a clue. High viewership numbers for a SW show like this is not an indicator of its quality, nor does it mean that we're still watching it because we like what we're seeing - i.e., it does not invalidate the abysmally low audience score or prove that score is the result of review bombing. The reviews are bad because the show is bombing, and we're still watching because we either (a) are clinging to the desperate hope that it can somehow be salvaged or (b) like a car wreck we simply can't look away. Mostly (b) lol...

Well, yeah. There's shows I watched - even films, convinced it was gonna get better as it went along.

That - surely - someone along the way sez this isn't working, and there's some frantic re-shoots/edits, yah?

This is something else. Like a lot of viewers/commenters have posted, on YT/IMDB/etc. it's like watching a burning ship sink at the dock after Captain LH runs the boat in.



There's sort of a fascination about this combination of absolutely boring/co-opting SW/wooden performances, while the heroic Lee Jung-jae desperately keeps swimming while LH & co. flounder about, burbling on about the power of many and the 'cist boat builders.

And ah, an article that tells us "what's really going on" by framing it as "Star Wars fandom has always been prone to division."

We're not divided. It's heartwarming seeing the disenfranchised rise as "the power of MMMMMMAAAAANNNNYYYYY".

 

[Vortex]

Cheap fake George helps me to cope.



The other 2 episodes and future ones are on the channel.

 

[Mr. Awesome]

I love how "hate watching" a D+ Star Wars show has become the pinnacle of entertainment throughout Internet Land lol.

I can't even bring myself to do it. I live vicariously through others suffering.