9 Films Nerds Love to Hate (That Really Aren't That Bad)

[karamazov80]

I'm gonna kick that son of a _____ Bison's *** SO HARD, that the next Bison wannabe. . .is gonna feel it!

I saw that in the theaters

 

[Jen]

Out of that list I have only seen:

Constantine - I liked it
Batman Forever - it's been so long, I don't really remember much about it
Fantastic Four - ok but doubt I will watch it again
DareDevil - ok - best part was Bullseye

 

[wofford29]

Only two good Marvel films exist and Lee's Hulk is one of them.

 

[Biojex]

Kylie Minogue was Cammy. Jean Claude Van Damme was Guile with a French accent. Raul Julia looked like he was having fun.

Can't hate on Street Fighter.

Andrew Bryniarski's Zangief is inspiring!
"Quick! change the channel!"

Raul Julia makes that film fun to watch.

 

[devilof76]

Only two good Marvel films exist and Lee's Hulk is one of them.

Is the other one Punisher: War Zone?

 

[King Darkness]

I like Lee's Hulk. Sure it's a bit slow but all hell breaks loose once he escapes the underground base and the action and fx are better than the reboot.

Constatine rocked. News to me this was a hated movie.

Transformers is a fun movie with a fantastic score.

Daredevil is campy but fun. Same with Batman Forever.

"G I Joe" and Street Fighter were are and forever will be pure shat!

 

[The Josh]

9-Really liked it and its sequel. Just good fun that I have very few complaints against.

8- This movie is for me personally utter crap and thats not giving crap much credit. Its one of the few times I almost left the movie theater before the film was even most of the way over.

7- Saw bits and pieces. Never really thought much of what I saw either way.

6- Movie was alright. Not great but not utter crap the Ang Lee hulk is.

5- Liked the movie but I like Will Smith except for when he gets his damn kids in every movie we see now.

4- 89 Batman, Batman Begins, and TDK are the only 3 good batman movies made. The rest are why you must keep at least a good hold realism in comic book movies.

3- Feel the same way about it that I do about F4 movie. Never seen directors cut though.

2-Enjoyed it in the theater and own it on Blu. Its not the best thing ever but again its not Ang Lee's Hulk (ie ____terama)

1- Never seen it and never will.

 

[The Entity]

9) Transformers
I know, Topless Robot is the world's largest natural source of Bayformers hate, and the idea of coming here and finding an opinion that could even be vaguely construed as positive concerning the works of Michael Bay seems beyond comprehension. And yet -- here it is! Now make no mistake: Revenge of the Fallen was and remains one of the most wretched excuses for a movie in history, but its predecessor? Well, if nothing else, ROTF proved just how awful it could have been (honestly, I really don't mind this film at all, but this is as nice as I could bring myself to be to a Bay movie while writing for TR).

8) Hulk
Ang Lee's vision of Marvel's signature green behemoth is near the bottom of this list for an odd reason: It's good! Really good... well, taken as a standalone movie anyway. Yes, I'm well aware that the plot has little or nothing to do with Marvel canon, and the CGI is rather weak, but the performances, the writing, and the cinematography stand up to these criticisms -- besides, one Jennifer Connely is worth ten Liv Tylers. There is probably no movie on this list I have been forced to defend more often and more virulently (almost to the point of blows).

7) Constantine
Constantine didn't inspire as much nerd rage as it could have, mostly because it's based on a lesser-known (outside of the comics world) Vertigo comic. I'll admit, I've never read Constantine, and didn't even realize it was a comic until after seeing the film, so I can't speak as to its accuracy (although I know Constantine is supposed to be blonde and British). But all in all, I like this movie: For one -- I'm a sucker for Judeo-Christian themed supernatural thrillers. Plus, Peter Stormare plays one of the coolest cinematic Satans I've ever seen -- right up there with Peter Cook and Viggo Mortensen. Even Shia LaBeouf manages to be not quite as obnoxious in this... and you get to watch the son of Lucifer kill him. That's entertainment.

6) Fantastic Four
A lukewarm comic book flick at best, F4 had a few decent points: Michael Chiklis was perfectly cast as The Thing, Julian McMahon had fun as Doom, and while I've always hated Jessica Alba as a blonde, she's undeniably appealing. Not a great deal to recommend here -- but not a lot to really hate, either. The film is a masterpiece of "4pm on Saturdays on FX" cinema. It's too benign to bother wasting perfectly good snark on.

5) I, Robot
I'm a reader, and I know Asimov's book (which shares a title, and little else, with this film) very well. And yet, this film didn't piss me off as much as one might expect. Sure, reducing Asimov's brilliant study of the human condition told through a series of interconnected short stories following the gradual evolution of artificial intelligence to an ultraviolent Will Smith vehicle might seem... disrespectful? Disingenuous? Sacrilegious, even? Maybe... but the film DID follow the concepts set forth in the novel quite faithfully, and Smith plays one of the strongest and most nuanced characters of his entire action/sci-fi career. Plus, Alan "Wash" Tudyk provides the voice of the robot "Sonny" -- that's bonus nerd cred right there!

4) Batman Forever
Batman and Robin was so unspeakably awful that the blind hatred for Joel Schumacher extended back in time and tainted his previous work. Sure, BF is still the second-worst Bats flick ever made, but Val Kilmer beats the heck out of George Clooney, Jim Carrey was a rather entertaining Riddler, and the movie overall was neat-looking ,stupid fun. Perhaps Schumacher should have taken a look at the state of the fandom before conceiving his Batman films as Day-Glo, vaguely homoerotic kitsch fests, but taken on its own, Batman Forever is hardly the terror it's been made out to be.

3) Daredevil
I would imagine Ben Affleck is the primary source of most of the hatred directed towards this film, and cinematic horrors like Pearl Harbor and Armageddon certainly back up such sentiments. But honestly, Affleck's Matt Murdock is really little worse than bland. The film does have quite effective villains portrayed by talented actors (Colin Farrell and Michael Clarke Duncan), and was entertaining enough as a whole that I could forgive the rather uninspiring hero. Forgiving the film for spawning the vile abomination that is Elektra is somewhat more difficult.

2) G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
Okay. Sienna Miller's Baroness was a sacrilege, Channing Tatum is a graduate of the Paul Walker/Casper Van Dien School of Forgettable Lead Acting, and Marlon Wayans' comic relief was uncomfortable at best. BUT! Chris "Ninth Doctor" Eccleston is always entertaining, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt was an effective enough Cobra Commander that I could forgive his ridiculous mask. Plus, the Cobra attack on The Pit was pitch-perfect G.I. Joe, even if the rest of the movie wasn't. Beyond this, it's a fun and relatively well-made popcorn action flick, and most importantly -- it could have been a lot worse.

1) Street Fighter
Sweet mother of crap! STREET FIGHTER! Most of the films on this list are here because they honestly have a few good points to them, and I feel they've been a bit harshly judged... not this one! If you haven't seen it, then be aware -- it's every bit as awful as they say it is. So why is it here? And at the top of the list even? Well, there's a special class of bad movies -- Ed Wood films are a good example -- that there just isn't any real satisfaction in trashing. It's like beating up a kid in a wheelchair ("Way to go, Ebert! You pointed out the shortcomings of 'Glen or Glenda' -- that's really sticking it to Hollywood!") Street Fighter is one such film. Also, like a Wood production, it's loads upon loads of absurd fun, and should be appreciated for the masterpiece of unintentional comedy that it is.

I haven't seen G.I. Joe so I can't say anything about that, but I honestly enjoyed the rest of these films apart from Hulk.

I'm guessing they mean the Jean-Claude Van Damme Street Fighter instead of the recent one... And I really like that film. It's a childhood favourite. Bought it on DVD last year!

All in all, there are some fun films on that list. No classics, but certainly fun to watch!

 

[gdb]

Daredevil was almost very, very good. Problem was, there was no way to top Electra, Daredevil and Bullseye on the rooftop so the last half hour of the thing was boring as all get out. Maybe there was a way to top it but the filmmakers never found it. Also problematic was the school yard fight. Came off like something you'd see in a musical.

 

[wofford29]

Is the other one Punisher: War Zone?

The first Iron Man.

 

[hairlesswookiee]

Batman Forever - it's been so long, I don't really remember much about it

Here you go Jen:


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[DiFabio]

More like the worst moments ever. I don't think Batman Forever is bad at all. I always thought the title was weak and the nipples on the suit were gay, but the film is far from "OH MY GOD, THIS IS AWFUL BATMAN IS RUINED, SHUMACHER DESTROYED MY HERO". Yeah, Two-Face and the Riddler can be zany at times but it's got a nice balance of darkness and lightheartedness. It's not as dark and serious as the Nolan and Burton films, but not as campy as the 60's show.

Batman and Robin was bad, Forever was in a league of it's own and was a hit in '95.

There are some great scenes,

- The first suit up scene up.
- Two-Face discussing duality with the security guard hostage.
- Almost the entire bank heist action sequence.
- The circus
- Batman's skylight entrance at the Ritz Gotham.
- The underground construction site where Batman emerges from the fire.
- Batman being buried alive.
- The exchanges between Wayne and Grayson about Grayson helping him.
- The riddle scenes with Wayne and Alfred going over them.
- The whole "prototype suit" exchange.
- Batman accepting Robin's help against the Riddler and Two-Face.
- Robin vs. Two-Face.

- The ending.

I mean, it's far from great, but it's not as bad as people make it out to be. If you can get into the '95 mindset with the great soundtrack, newness factor, marketing, promotions, U2 music, McDonald's glass cups, and character posters it's far from awful. I mean even without nostalgia there's really nothing about it that's horrid. It's certainly not my favorite Batman film, nor do I consider it to be anything that special but it's a nice popcorn flick. The action is good, the little (and I mean very little) psychological bits they throw in is well done, and it's just an okay film.

Now if Batman and Robin was on this list, I'd disagree.




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[Maglor]

8- This movie is for me personally utter crap and thats not giving crap much credit. Its one of the few times I almost left the movie theater before the film was even most of the way over.

Any specific reasons why you feel that way?

 

[wofford29]

My guess would be not enough pew pews and pow pows. There is too much story and heart for your typical Hulk base.

 

[karamazov80]

Hulk was always most interesting because he was a tragic, conflicted character IMO, not because he was a super powerful freak who could destroy armies and level mountains. He never catches a break, and lashes out, in part, due to the frustration of others treating him with distrust and fear even though he usually tries to do the right thing (I guess his short attention span and short fuse don't help, though ). This was evidenced going way back to his early solo comic and Avengers appearances, and is a recurring theme in all his tv and movie incarnations, in his being shipped off to Planet Hulk, etc. Seems like his fan base would understand that, and dislike the Ang Lee movie for other reasons.

 

[carbo-fation]

I still prefer Lee's Hulk to Norton's. The first one had more substance and a better story/acting. Second one was just meh.

 

[karamazov80]

One thing that was a huge miss in the Lee version to me was the villain(s). Nolte just didn't work for me, and the fight at the end sucked. I think the film also could have been better edited. Some of it seemed to drag on due to bad pacing.

On the whole, I came away from that movie enjoying it a bit but ultimately feeling like it was a miss. Could be other, more intangible factors. I didn't mind the comic-style cuts, etc.

 

[Maglor]

I loved the editing. The comic book cell style was awesome IMO.

I do think the final battle was a bit weird, but I thought Nolte was fantastic. Some of his dialogue was just exceptional.

 

[Batty]

I'm also in the "like" category when it comes to Lee's Hulk. Yes, it wasn't perfect, but I always thought it was underrated.

I'll be perfectly fine if I never see those other movies ever again.

 

[wofford29]

Hulk was always most interesting because he was a tragic, conflicted character IMO, not because he was a super powerful freak who could destroy armies and level mountains. He never catches a break, and lashes out, in part, due to the frustration of others treating him with distrust and fear even though he usually tries to do the right thing (I guess his short attention span and short fuse don't help, though ). This was evidenced going way back to his early solo comic and Avengers appearances, and is a recurring theme in all his tv and movie incarnations, in his being shipped off to Planet Hulk, etc. Seems like his fan base would understand that, and dislike the Ang Lee movie for other reasons.

I would agree with your reasons for liking him, but would be willing to bet the majority of Hulk fans like him for your other reasons of ripping ____ up. That's why you always get a Hulk vs. Superman or Hulk vs. Thor thread whenever the base talks about the character. The common complaints with Lees Hulk are always not enough action, too slow, don't like the villian blah blah blah pew pew pew explosions he didn't say hulk smash blech.

Its not a great film but its not bad and certainly doesn't deserve the hate. I think Eberts review was spot on when he said its a comic book movie for people who wouldn't be caught dead in a comic book movie.