Death of Dreams....

[DarkArtist81]

I normally don't like to come on here and talk too much about my life but today is one of those days that I have no choice but to share with you guys...

My Dad owned two businesses, a Logging business and a Tattoo parlor. He'd been in ownership of these for a couple of years and struggled to keep himself afloat. He helped me out for a time, giving me work when I was unemployed and fresh from the Navy, paid for my car insurance for a while and did everything he could to help me get on my feet. And for once I was proud of him, he finally had something for the first time in his life.... something he loved.

Well, today my Mom called me at work and laid a bombshell on me... They lost the business completely, both shops gone, losing their vehicles and the house.... Everything. He'd been dodging the taxes for a while, hoping that things would pick up enough for him to cover the cost eventually.... Well, unfortunately it didn't work. Uncle Sam came calling and wanted his money back. Dad didn't have any to give, so they took it all....

This news hit me like a punch in the face, bringing me back to reality and made me take a good long look at my own life. We all fear that we will end up like our father.... The Vader/Luke thing... staring down at your hand with the Emperor at your back. Today I got that feeling...

Right now I have no prospects for the future. I'm a good artist but I really don't have any other marketable skills. The college I wanted to attend costs far too much for me and my G I Bill to afford and my options are not very great. My future wife needs stability and a hope for the future... I currently cannot give her that..... And now I see my Dad's furthering hardships and a chill has permanently crept up my spine. I can't end up like him, I can't let Therese have that kind of life.... Something has to be done....

So I find myself in a sticky predicament.... What to do? I could go and get a degree in "something" and just live a life of repetition and sadness as I work day to day in a job I hate or I can rejoin the military and do the job that I know I can still do... and at least have benefits and stability for my family....

What do you guys think? What would you do in my position?

Does SSC need a painter? Or a security guard?

 

[King Darkness]

That really sux Josh!

I went through something similar a little over a year ago, when my financial world came crashing down on me. Me and my wife struggled and finally made it out. Then the whole thing with my father started about 10 months ago and you know how that ended.

All I can say is that life throws you lots and lots of curve balls. I guess all you can do is try your damnedest to work through and hope and pray things will somehow work themselves out.

You have to keep and eye to the sky and not let life take you over Josh.

Please keep you head high and work hard. Thats all anyone can really do.

 

[El Roranous]

Are you not the Jedi you're supposed to be? Do you want more?

I am sure we have all had these feelings at one point or another. I say just work hard and take it one day at a time. If you really want something in this life, you can get it...it just takes time, patience and dedication.

I am sorry to hear about your Dad's problems. In a way, you must help each other out because family is very important but don't let his problems prevent you from doing something great. Don't let anyone or anything bring you down. If in the end you fail, well that's life and at least you tried. Cliche? Yes but sometimes it's the truth.

 

[wofford29]

If you have good people skills and you're a hard worker and self motivator, I'd reccommend getting into the real estate or mortgage business. It's 100% commission, but that won't matter if you're a hard worker and disciplined. The sky is the limit for income. If you want anything bad enough, don't make excuses, and don't let anyone or anything stand in your way. The words I repeat to myself every morning when I wake up are simple, but it means everything....


I AM RESPONSIBLE!!!!

 

[nash]

i dont know if i have the place to answer your question on what you should do since i don't really know your true loves and hates.

But just from what I read, the military is definitely a good and respectable option for you. Im sure you of all people know that it can open many doors for you, but at the ultimate sacrifice. Im not sure why you got out of the military so I cant really comment further, but if you enjoy it there, then I'd highly consider that.

In regards to your comment on working a day to day job being unhappy, were you implying that anything other than art would make you unhappy? How about working at a nice restaraunt while you use that to pay bills and are still able to pursure your love of artistry?

I put myself through some of my flight training by working at one of the best hotels in Hawaii as a waiter, the pay was way way better than I make now teaching people to fly airplanes....figure that one out. But you definitely are young and have many options, just need to do a little bit of soul searching and maybe have your woman help you out on what path to take since it involves the both of you.

 

[Bodie The Cursed]

Sorry to hear the news.. Behind health, finances are number 2 on my list of musts that needs to be in order..

Stay focused and all will be fine. We all have bumps in the road and feel insecure at times financially.

I think since you laid your ass out for our country Uncle Sam should lay off your dad.. Unfortuanately life doesnt work like that..




:emperor

 

[DarkArtist81]

Thanks guys... I'm very lucky to have such good friends to talk to about this stuff. I have nobody locally... kinda a hermit of sorts...

The military is looking good... but I have to be sure. Funny thing is... as much as I *****ed about it when I was there, it was the best time of my life. I was respected and liked my job, had a lot of friends and saw the world. I would have been fine had I ended up doing what I joined to do and not a secondary job. I joined in hope of being a Rescue Swimmer (SAR), but washed out and ended up as a Mechanic. In the end it wasn't all that bad and at least I had job stability and benefits.

The only thing I would dread about going back is starting over at the bottom and having to re-visit bootcamp.

 

[user 1190]

As dumb as it sounds but the truth is a degree in anything is better then no degree. I hear it all the time. I have had others who were way less qualified get jobs, promotions, better pay, etc.. then I did based solely on a degree(which i dont have), even when the dergee has nothing to do with the job.

Take advantage of the GI bill get some General Ed classes out of the way and see if anything interests you. Also take a look at the things you are interested in and then look at what kind of jobs they have out there. You never know a close friend of mine got a Art Degree (the kind that have no use in the real world), then after college ended up in dead end job after dead end job, then got a job as a receptionist at a company, 5 years later she is a VP. Point is you never know what a degree can do for you.

 

[Batty]

Sorry to hear about this, Josh.

Luckily, you're still young and you still have a lot of opportunities. You might not be able to afford the college you want to go to, but what about other, less expensive places?

Whatever you do, don't give up on the art.

 

[user 1190]

Thanks guys... I'm very lucky to have such good friends to talk to about this stuff. I have nobody locally... kinda a hermit of sorts...

The military is looking good... but I have to be sure. Funny thing is... as much as I *****ed about it when I was there, it was the best time of my life. I was respected and liked my job, had a lot of friends and saw the world. I would have been fine had I ended up doing what I joined to do and not a secondary job. I joined in hope of being a Rescue Swimmer (SAR), but washed out and ended up as a Mechanic. In the end it wasn't all that bad and at least I had job stability and benefits.

The only thing I would dread about going back is starting over at the bottom and having to re-visit bootcamp.

I take it you enjoyed being a Mechanic? What kind may I ask? Maybe you can do a lil schooling and get ajob as mechanic. If you worked on aircarft you could look into the airlines, (there is your free travel with no chance of going to war). If you are interested in working as a car mechanic let me know and I can ask some friends on what you can do to get into that or better schools.

 

[dekadentdave]

I am sorry to hear that Josh. I hate to see anyone lose the labor of a lifetime's work and end up with nothing to show for it. Unfortunately the economy is worse than the media and politicians would lead us to believe. Bankruptcies are at an all-time high and consumer debt has reached staggering proportions. I've seen retailers going out of business by the numbers and it's a tell-tale sign of the state of the economy. This country is in pretty bad shape right now. I've had this conversation with my father many times and he has pretty much acknowledged that our generation got screwed over by his. We are going to be the ones paying for the mistakes of his generation for generations to come. I have survived 2 layoffs and one firing and now I work 2 jobs to make ends meet, but it's a struggle AND trying to afford the luxuries of my collecting passion as you can relate to. You are fortunate to have had military experience which should help you qualify for management opportunities (they like to see that on resumes). I would not consider enlisting again since you are trying to build a family with your wife. You can both make it through the hard times together as long as you are both committed to making it together. Keep your chin up, man! I know you can make it. You're a fighter!

 

[rabidwolverine21]

that sucks so bad man, i hope things get better, i think thats the most f'd up thing about the U.S. take everything from a man whos just trying to make things work out. i hope you can find something you find enjoyable man.
my thoughts are with your family

 

[pixletwin]

Josh, I am experiencing pretty much the same thing in a different way.

My advise, do what you love and have kids so yuou qualify for Pell Grants to go to school.

 

[abstractharmony]

Josh, I'm incredibly sorry to hear this.

My dad lost all of his employment (and will to work) back when I was 9 years old. He hasn't worked a day since. He was a tradesman and always had work he just stopped.

At the time I didn't know what to think but even at 9 I thought "That's not happening to me" and straight out of school I got a job that paid my monthly wage and paid my bills.

So I'm never gonna be at the top of the proverbial tree. I don't care. You know why? Because I'm happy. That is the most important thing. Far too many people measure success on material wealth and how far up the ladder you can climb but as long as you can pay all of your bills and still do what you enjoy doing (like your art) then it's all good.

You are young, you have drive and a good lady. You've got it all. Don't ever forget that.

My advice, for what it's worth, get a solid job, any job, with some benefits and while away your 9-5 until you get home to your woman and your toys.

Work to live. Don't ever live to work - that way lies monsters.

 

[occulum]

Right now I have no prospects for the future. I'm a good artist but I really don't have any other marketable skills.

there you go man!

your painting is awesome. You obviously have a good eye for art / technique and the ability to learn quickly.
Develop yourself as a graphic artist.
If you could snag copies of Photoshop, Illustrator and QuarkXpress (bootlegs are prety easy to come by from what I hear on PCs), then fork over the $$ and subscribe to https://lynda.com's online training videos you can learn pretty much anything and everythign you need to get into the world of graphic design at home and at your own pace.

you dont need school at all really. You just need to be good.
A good portfolio will make employers forget all about whether or not you had any formal schooling. I went to a Technical Community College myself, but never graduated or anything. And Ive never lied and said i did to anyone.

whatever you do dont sell yourself short
fate? what the hell is that?
we all control our own future (for the most part).
It will be what you make it and Im sure it will be good

 

[Viking28]

Thanks guys... I'm very lucky to have such good friends to talk to about this stuff. I have nobody locally... kinda a hermit of sorts...

The military is looking good... but I have to be sure. Funny thing is... as much as I *****ed about it when I was there, it was the best time of my life. I was respected and liked my job, had a lot of friends and saw the world. I would have been fine had I ended up doing what I joined to do and not a secondary job. I joined in hope of being a Rescue Swimmer (SAR), but washed out and ended up as a Mechanic. In the end it wasn't all that bad and at least I had job stability and benefits.

The only thing I would dread about going back is starting over at the bottom and having to re-visit bootcamp.

How old are you? If you do decide to go back into the military why not try to get into an officer program?

I know how you feel I came from a struggling family, did the military got to place were I was comfortable in life in money and family.
Then got to watch it all be dismantled this past 8 months, see my kids go through the pain of watching their parents separate. Because their mom wants to be able to go and party.

There are time I think about going back in, it would make life a hell of alot easier. BUT I wouldn't be there for my kids, and they mean the world to me. So for me that option is gone.


So when I get down and think of the things that are to come, I just put on some positive music, it kind of helps (hahaha):
Perseverance

I know your fear of loss
And your struggles with faith
And how it takes everything that you have to face the day
The virtues you possess now bring you eternal pain
All you have is contempt for a life you can't obtain
All your heroes have failed you
Yet you try and prevail
Face your torment and dismantle your doubt
Refuse this legacy of shame and deceit
Cause the only real truth in your life that you know is hostility

Your world is coming apart
Remain steadfast

Perseverance
Against all opposition
Crushing all limitations
Pure strength through solitude
Discipline and determination

You can't accept what you've been told
Anchored in sin you must reverse your descent
Declare the weight of the world has yet to claim you
And admit that your faults will not restrain you
Glimpses of fate bring light to your despair
Realize hope isn't short of your grasp
Resurrect every dream that you've buried alive
And never succumb to the war that you fight

Your world is coming apart
Remain steadfast

 

[The ill Jedi]

Does SSC need a painter? Or a security guard?

Sorry to hear about your dad Josh.

Seriously though, with your skills as a painter I think you could work for any collectibles company. Get a portfolio of work you've done together and send it SSC, Gentle Giant, Hard Hero, anybody you can get contact info for. Someone has to realize the talent that you have and hopefully give you a job in something that you not only love but are very good at.

I hope things get better for your Mom and Dad, you know we're here for you man.

 

[Bardoon]

Sorry to hear about the hard times for you and especially your family. I hope things can turn around for you all!

A degree will definitely help you if you can go for that and if the military appeals to you again, don't they also assist with paying for college as well? You might want to consider that route.Also anything with art I'm sure looks good as well but you might have to relocate if that place is centralized...like Sideshow seems to be in California.

 

[DarkArtist81]

Thanks guys.... I'm still overwhelmed by all of the responses and support. My family appreciates it as well. I guess it just floored me when this all happened.... really made me re-evaluate my life. I'll keep my options open, maybe fish some shots of my work around and see if I get any bites....

I just really don't want to end up staying at my current Dermatology office worker job for the rest of my life. My family deserves better and so do I. I can't fail Therese and our future children by living a life on the edge of poverty.

My parents were on welfare and food stamps, I grew up in run down houses... living in the worst neighborhoods and I never saw my Dad because he was always working 14 hour days, 6 days a week. It's just not the life I want for my kids. I have to find a way to keep that from happening.

The military is always an option, since I've done it before. The Navy wasn't all that bad and at least I'd have an edge over those who had never done it before.

 

[figuremaster_les]

You are young, you have drive and a good lady. You've got it all. Don't ever forget that.

My advice, for what it's worth, get a solid job, any job, with some benefits and while away your 9-5 until you get home to your woman and your toys.

Work to live. Don't ever live to work - that way lies monsters.

I couldn't agree more!

Josh. I am sorry to discover this news and thread, but know that I am only an hour and a half away. Plus, cheap to call! So, always holler my way if you need to.
But yeah, things may seem tough, but you are actually quite young, even though it may not seem that way in mind, and you have ALL KINDS OF TIME! You are effectively 20 years younger than I am. So, just think, you have 20 years to do better than me! Even with your "burdens" of self doubt, concerns, a fiancee, and all that. You don't currently have kids. You are mobile, as is she, and you both are stronger together than alone, so you have backup. That's TWO incomes to help you climb.
And yes, just get comfortable financially. Accept some reasonable limits to your spending needs NOW, but NEVER let go the dream.
The title of this thread...Death of Dreams...well...dreams can't die.
Time changes everything, and your current reality can change on a dime, but....this one serves me well in my "old" 45 year old age...
OVERCOME & ADAPT! Semper Fi and all that! (Not a Marine, but the O&A) is a good one!)
Overcome, and simply, calmly, adapt. Then, later, overcome and adapt to a better position.

Keep what you can. Try not to react too much, and that is always hard to do...and keep your wits...and STAY TRUE TO YOUR GOALS! You can still do what you planned.

As for your Father. I have only this, I am taking care of my parents. Right under them. It's tough. If you can stay out from under them, and still help them, and keep your personal goals close, you will prevail.
You have friends. You are not alone. And you have skills!

So, FRET NOT! You are quite the man! And you have at your side, quite the woman!
You will prevail. Of that I am certain!

All my hopes for you and your family.

Your friend,

Les