Skiman
Super Freak
"Problems arise in that one has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need for yourself." ~Jessye Norman~
This is such a great quote to think about. Once again it brings us to our favorite word, BALANCE. It is so important to find that perfect balance of what people need and what you give and also what you need and give to yourself. Sometimes we find ourselves pleasing others and constantly giving to others but don’t that take away from yourself. It is important to always be giving and looking out for others, but don’t let yourself go to the waste side… Find that balance of giving to others and to yourself.
one for someone, one for you… one for someone, one for you…
Kind of like the daisy, does he love me, does he love me not analogy.
There are so many times you may find yourself giving giving giving, if that is the type of person you are. Then there comes a day where you look back and maybe you haven’t done some of the things you use to do such as getting to the gym on a regular basis, watching your diet, spending time with friends, going out for a girls or guys night, reading a book, or whatever it may be. Every now and then you have to check yourself and make sure you are still in that balance of giving to yourself, while still giving to others.
Remember you can not give to others if you don’t give to yourself first. You are so much more productive and there is so much more of you to give when you feel great and have put time and energy into yourself. Some people may see this as being selfish to be thinking about themselves and their needs. Don’t see it as being selfish but see it completely different, flip that attitude… if you are not giving to yourself first you become spread too thin by only giving to others… you are then being self-less because you are not doing much for yourself, and it has the greatest potential to hurt only you until you learn to give to yourself fully FIRST!
It is all about that perfect balance. Don’t worry it is something we all are working towards and it does not come easy. It takes practice and first of all acknowledgment.
How can you give your all to others when you haven’t given it to yourself first?
Finding that balance can be tough but it can be done.
Something to think about….
With all that being said....
I recently have just went through a rough patch with a friend that I believe to mainly take advantage of me, basically using me for computer work, etc...
I feel really bad about the situation but I had to put my foot down and say enough is enough, I had to look out for myself.
I'm the sort of person that would give you the shirt off my back and basically do anything for you as long as you treated me fairly. So this goes back a long ways with me and this friend. In the past he's constantly called me for computer work and help on anything that required computers. Actually this year I actually helped him with some College Algebra and some Calculus courses because he never took them in high school and he's making his way back through college.
Well a while back, I helped him repair this computer and install some software, format the drive, load a new OS, etc... so he could sell it to a friend, I know this friend but it's basically an acquaintance. Almost a year goes by since hearing about this computer which I though he sold a while back and it also has been a while since I've heard from this buddy as well or ever since helping him out with this course (I'm not sure about any of you but spending some weekend doing Calculus or teaching it to someone is not help you can find just underneath a rock or a next door neighbor).
Anyhow he calls me up or via text ask me if I knew the password to a machine that he was selling that we loaded with a new OS about a year +plus ago. I simply answer, no telling man remember I told you to write it down on that notepad so you wouldn't forget. Well I find out that he ends up selling this machine to his friend that I was talking about that is an acquaintance of mine from the gym. A few days go by and hear back from him saying do I know the password again. Well if I didn't know it on Sunday then I don't think I would know it on Tuesday
Now here's where the story turns ugly, his friend ends up calling me and leaving a voice mail asking for help. Now I'm thinking how did this guy get my number and why is he asking me for help, I really don't know him all that well. He tells me that the audio is not working and that they got into the machine with a "password' CD loaded from Best Buy. Ok........ so I reply to him via text, it's probably just a missing driver of some sort, do you have a e-mail address and I'll forward you the link to download it from HP.com. Long story short he forwards this e-mail to his GF and then she's texts me that it's not working, etc... (the instructions that I stated to do) he's texting me that he needs the computer to work for her school/college and sorry to bother me but she's all over his back for it... Ok....
I remember i was going to the ball game downtown and not really being able to access it with further problem solving solutions and told them I'm currently going to the ballgame downtown with my girl, I will have to get back with you as soon as I can.
Next Day:
This guy sends me a irate text message telling me (but I assume he sent it to both of us because he had you guy(s) in the message) "I've paid good money for this computer and it doesn't seem like you guys are really interested in helping me, you know you are suppose to help friends". I DON'T EVEN REALLY KNOW this guy what in world is going on. Now I'm really pissed at my current work the one that I actually get paid for I call him up and chew him a mouth full you wouldn't believe. I tell him that I didn't see a dime of this money and if you have a problem with it you better talk to my friend in which I'm not in good standing with as of NOW... (very heated, I don't remember when the last time I was so angry, like I said I'm super laid back)
At this instant I text my friend and tell him, that I'm not happy and it's not appreciated that you forward my number to others for my assistance with computer work. I told him not to reply as it was not needed and I've never heard from him since, I would have to say that this has probably been a month ago. Granted he was a good friend but I believe for him to always lie about certain situations as my other buddies that hang out with more often tell me some stories, I do hate doing this but that might of offset the relationship as I cut off ties from using me as a reliable source of being labeled the problem source maintenance guy.
I ask my fiancee if I did the right thing but I'm not really sure, I did stand up for myself and not let him take advantage of me as she stated but I'm not really sure about the situation and was the outcome of all of this could of been handle better.
I guess I'm asking have any of you dealt with people like this and do you think I've chosen the correct path?
This is such a great quote to think about. Once again it brings us to our favorite word, BALANCE. It is so important to find that perfect balance of what people need and what you give and also what you need and give to yourself. Sometimes we find ourselves pleasing others and constantly giving to others but don’t that take away from yourself. It is important to always be giving and looking out for others, but don’t let yourself go to the waste side… Find that balance of giving to others and to yourself.
one for someone, one for you… one for someone, one for you…
Kind of like the daisy, does he love me, does he love me not analogy.
There are so many times you may find yourself giving giving giving, if that is the type of person you are. Then there comes a day where you look back and maybe you haven’t done some of the things you use to do such as getting to the gym on a regular basis, watching your diet, spending time with friends, going out for a girls or guys night, reading a book, or whatever it may be. Every now and then you have to check yourself and make sure you are still in that balance of giving to yourself, while still giving to others.
Remember you can not give to others if you don’t give to yourself first. You are so much more productive and there is so much more of you to give when you feel great and have put time and energy into yourself. Some people may see this as being selfish to be thinking about themselves and their needs. Don’t see it as being selfish but see it completely different, flip that attitude… if you are not giving to yourself first you become spread too thin by only giving to others… you are then being self-less because you are not doing much for yourself, and it has the greatest potential to hurt only you until you learn to give to yourself fully FIRST!
It is all about that perfect balance. Don’t worry it is something we all are working towards and it does not come easy. It takes practice and first of all acknowledgment.
How can you give your all to others when you haven’t given it to yourself first?
Finding that balance can be tough but it can be done.
Something to think about….
With all that being said....
I recently have just went through a rough patch with a friend that I believe to mainly take advantage of me, basically using me for computer work, etc...
I feel really bad about the situation but I had to put my foot down and say enough is enough, I had to look out for myself.
I'm the sort of person that would give you the shirt off my back and basically do anything for you as long as you treated me fairly. So this goes back a long ways with me and this friend. In the past he's constantly called me for computer work and help on anything that required computers. Actually this year I actually helped him with some College Algebra and some Calculus courses because he never took them in high school and he's making his way back through college.
Well a while back, I helped him repair this computer and install some software, format the drive, load a new OS, etc... so he could sell it to a friend, I know this friend but it's basically an acquaintance. Almost a year goes by since hearing about this computer which I though he sold a while back and it also has been a while since I've heard from this buddy as well or ever since helping him out with this course (I'm not sure about any of you but spending some weekend doing Calculus or teaching it to someone is not help you can find just underneath a rock or a next door neighbor).
Anyhow he calls me up or via text ask me if I knew the password to a machine that he was selling that we loaded with a new OS about a year +plus ago. I simply answer, no telling man remember I told you to write it down on that notepad so you wouldn't forget. Well I find out that he ends up selling this machine to his friend that I was talking about that is an acquaintance of mine from the gym. A few days go by and hear back from him saying do I know the password again. Well if I didn't know it on Sunday then I don't think I would know it on Tuesday
Now here's where the story turns ugly, his friend ends up calling me and leaving a voice mail asking for help. Now I'm thinking how did this guy get my number and why is he asking me for help, I really don't know him all that well. He tells me that the audio is not working and that they got into the machine with a "password' CD loaded from Best Buy. Ok........ so I reply to him via text, it's probably just a missing driver of some sort, do you have a e-mail address and I'll forward you the link to download it from HP.com. Long story short he forwards this e-mail to his GF and then she's texts me that it's not working, etc... (the instructions that I stated to do) he's texting me that he needs the computer to work for her school/college and sorry to bother me but she's all over his back for it... Ok....
I remember i was going to the ball game downtown and not really being able to access it with further problem solving solutions and told them I'm currently going to the ballgame downtown with my girl, I will have to get back with you as soon as I can.Next Day:
This guy sends me a irate text message telling me (but I assume he sent it to both of us because he had you guy(s) in the message) "I've paid good money for this computer and it doesn't seem like you guys are really interested in helping me, you know you are suppose to help friends". I DON'T EVEN REALLY KNOW this guy
what in world is going on. Now I'm really pissed at my current work the one that I actually get paid for I call him up and chew him a mouth full you wouldn't believe. I tell him that I didn't see a dime of this money and if you have a problem with it you better talk to my friend in which I'm not in good standing with as of NOW... (very heated, I don't remember when the last time I was so angry, like I said I'm super laid back)At this instant I text my friend and tell him, that I'm not happy and it's not appreciated that you forward my number to others for my assistance with computer work. I told him not to reply as it was not needed and I've never heard from him since, I would have to say that this has probably been a month ago. Granted he was a good friend but I believe for him to always lie about certain situations as my other buddies that hang out with more often tell me some stories, I do hate doing this but that might of offset the relationship as I cut off ties from using me as a reliable source of being labeled the problem source maintenance guy.
I ask my fiancee if I did the right thing but I'm not really sure, I did stand up for myself and not let him take advantage of me as she stated but I'm not really sure about the situation and was the outcome of all of this could of been handle better.
I guess I'm asking have any of you dealt with people like this and do you think I've chosen the correct path?
(that is a inside joke since u don't know the story)
