Give to yourself FIRST !!!

[karamazov80]

You should punch him in the face.

 

[Skiman]

i give to myself about 6 times a day

 

[BadMoon]

Skiman, do you know how/if one can save an image from a PDF onto your computer?

 

[devlinboy]

I am having a hard time reading that...my eyesight is not what it used to be for some reason..can you increase the font size?? i will be right back once i shave my palms.

 

[jinxx]

i give to myself about 6 times a day

 

[Skiman]

I have actually had similar issues in the past, Ski. I am willing to help friends and acquaintances out if i can. I mean, I have needed help with things in the past, and probably will in the future, so it is just good for karma. But beyond that, it feels right, and it was how I was raised.

BUT, some people will take advantage. Take for instance a guy I knew from high school. He lived down the street from me, and rode the bus with me. We weren't friends but acquaintances. Anyway, fast-forward 8 years or so. I'm in grad school, and he is apparently an undergrad here now. I'm still not sure how he got my number. He tells me that his car has died and he needs a ride to do. . .something related to getting some food for his wife and kid (this was a few years ago, so I don't recall all the details). I didn't hesitate to tell him, "OK." So, I pick him up and this guy tells me that, during rush hour, he needs to go across town to some guy's house. We finally get there, and he tells me to wait, and goes inside for about 30-40 minutes, then comes out with a small brown paper bag and a loaf of bread and we leave.

At this point, I had no idea what was going on, but I was pissed, because I was trying to do him a favor, but he seemed to just want to go across town to visit a friend or buy drugs or some ^^^^. I didn't have anything else to say to him.

He calls me back a few days later asking for another similar kind of ride, and I told him straight up--no. Screw him. He used up any goodwill that I might have had for him. There are users and bums in this world.

Very true and that's the same way I felt about my situation, of course I've help this friend several times in the past, with network, DSL, cable, surround sound stuff and never asked for anything in return but this instance just set me off of my limits.

Also it didn't feel good to be this bad person (^^^^head) on the phone to this other guy but I had no choice. I just told that guy that I'm not in very good standing with my buddy right now and it really irritates me that he just dumped me off to you. I'm sure I came across as a complete ass but enough was enough, the final buck as Creecher was saying.

 

[Skiman]

That is nasty Jinxx, do NOT pick me up for drink this Friday.

 

[devlinboy]

are you in my room ???

 

[Skiman]

Skiman, do you know how/if one can save an image from a PDF onto your computer?

 

[jinxx]

are you in my room ???

.......

 

[Skiman]

.......

 

[Skiman]

People don't really change. They just reveal more of who they really are over time.

A lot of people get older, but they don't grow up. I'm no longer surprised to just see adults act like children. You'll probably see it in real day to day life, you'll probably see it on these boards too.

Maybe it would help to check out a book on setting and maintaining boundaries. Why this guy is a used piece of scrotum cheese is on him. Why you associated with him for so long is on you. We are judged in life by the company we keep. You might sit down one night and look at all your friends and associates and so forth and think hard about whether all of them are folks you actually want in your life. Then you might have to ask yourself, if that's true, if many aren't healthy for you, why you let them get so close in the first place. What they do doesn't just say something about them, in some ways, it says something about you too.

Sometimes it's easiest to see people's characters when they have no use for you or no longer have a use for you. It's easy to be nice to your boss. It's easy to be diplomatic to your neighbors. It's easy to be friendly to the hot flight attendant where you want to user her tonsils as a punching bag for your meat sword and mix her a triple protein shake. What about someone who can't do anything for you? Or can't do it anymore? It's one of the interesting things about the Internet, that people are very real and very fake at the same time. You only see snippets of people. On the other hand, there are very few social penalties for being a low speed high drag POS online so some people want to push that to the limit.

Skiman, I don't know what to tell you other than this. In my experience and observation, when you see someone under duress, that's who they really are. That's their real character. When tested, if someone is a POS, they don't have a POS isolated moment, they were always a worthless POS right down to the bloody core. The other things, when things are easy, when things are going well, are the front shown to you about what looks right and sounds right, that's the facade. All the clues you need to isolate yourself from toxic people are probably there from the start. I think if you start investing in yourself more, those clues will naturally become easier to see.

Thoughts, for what it's worth, good luck man,

Gekko

Very awesome insight buddy and the two points that you made up above, I've thought long and hard before hand on all my friends and people I keep in my circle of daily life and such acquaintances.

I've always given this advice mainly to my girlfriend which really goes out on the limb with her girlfriends and most of the time gets hurt or offended from their actions.

I see now that I have to take my own advice with this particular friend here. You are right they do show themselves whenever a purpose is no longer or you do hear from them whenever something is needed on their end.

Deep inside I've known this about this person. It's the other side of helping someone out that is less fortunate and which is part of my personalty that I have to be careful about. Granted as I grew up I was trusting of everyone and figure if you helped out people that they in turn would help you out in the future but I've learn while growing as a person that that is not the case and there is a lot of non-trustworthy people out there. I was never a person that actually looked for something in return don't get me wrong but I've always felt like helping someone on any issues especially if I'm well informed on such a subject.

You are right, I did let him in my circle of trust, I knew better It was a chance I took and unfortunately it backfires on me. I hate to say it there are not very many "real" people out there in the world and you just have to adjust to good people that you can trust and good people that wanna be your friend just because of you, not to get ahead, use for favors and are the person of the moment.

Thanks Dave your insight is much appreciated!

 

[devlinboy]

People don't really change. They just reveal more of who they really are over time.

A lot of people get older, but they don't grow up. I'm no longer surprised to just see adults act like children. You'll probably see it in real day to day life, you'll probably see it on these boards too.

Maybe it would help to check out a book on setting and maintaining boundaries. Why this guy is a used piece of scrotum cheese is on him. Why you associated with him for so long is on you. We are judged in life by the company we keep. You might sit down one night and look at all your friends and associates and so forth and think hard about whether all of them are folks you actually want in your life. Then you might have to ask yourself, if that's true, if many aren't healthy for you, why you let them get so close in the first place. What they do doesn't just say something about them, in some ways, it says something about you too.

Sometimes it's easiest to see people's characters when they have no use for you or no longer have a use for you. It's easy to be nice to your boss. It's easy to be diplomatic to your neighbors. It's easy to be friendly to the hot flight attendant where you want to user her tonsils as a punching bag for your meat sword and mix her a triple protein shake. What about someone who can't do anything for you? Or can't do it anymore? It's one of the interesting things about the Internet, that people are very real and very fake at the same time. You only see snippets of people. On the other hand, there are very few social penalties for being a low speed high drag POS online so some people want to push that to the limit.

Skiman, I don't know what to tell you other than this. In my experience and observation, when you see someone under duress, that's who they really are. That's their real character. When tested, if someone is a POS, they don't have a POS isolated moment, they were always a worthless POS right down to the bloody core. The other things, when things are easy, when things are going well, are the front shown to you about what looks right and sounds right, that's the facade. All the clues you need to isolate yourself from toxic people are probably there from the start. I think if you start investing in yourself more, those clues will naturally become easier to see.

Thoughts, for what it's worth, good luck man,

Gekko

I always enjoy reading your posts..Besides the tonsil punching bag line which was classic, your posts always seem well thought out and have a good amount of knowledge throughout. And whenever i do read your posts i read them in michael douglas' voice which makes them even better,.

 

[Skiman]

I always enjoy reading your posts..Besides the tonsil punching bag line which was classic, your posts always seem well thought out and have a good amount of knowledge throughout. And whenever i do read your posts i read them in michael douglas' voice which makes them even better,.

I do 2