John Dies At The End

[fosing]

The book is phenomenal. I found myself laughing out loud many times. It's like H.P. Lovecraft meets Christopher Moore.
I can't believe that they're actually making a movie on it. Really excited.

Spoiler

The story doesn't completely end at the end of the book. There's supposed to be a sequel.

Spoiler

oh, so john doesnt die YET?

i'm intrigued. i think i'll scout for the book after Halloween. must devote myself to horror movies first this month.

 

[Jedah Kalm]

This should intrigue you further.
Here, I'm going to type out what's in the interior of the front dust jacket:

STOP.

* You should not have touched this book with your bare hands.
* NO, don't put it down. It's too late.
* They're watching you.

My name is David Wong. My best friends is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours.

You may not want to know about the things you'll read in these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye.

The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.


THE IMPORTANT

THING IS THIS:​

* The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension.
* John and I never had the chance to say no.
* You still do.

Unfortunately for us, if you make the right choice, we'll have a much harder time explaining how to fight off the otherworldly invasion currently threatening to enslave humanity.

I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep on thing in mind:

NONE OF THIS IS

MY FAULT.​

From: "John Dies @ the End"
by: David Wong
Thomas Dunne Books
St. Martin's Press
copyright 2009

 

[Jedah Kalm]

To intrigue you even more; here is the first page. I always get people to read this first little bit to get them hooked.

Prologue

Solving the following riddle will reveal the awful secret behind the universe, assuming you do not go utterly mad in the attempt. If you already happen to know the awful secret behind the universe, feel free to skip ahead.

Let's say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don't worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you're the one who shot him.

He had been a big, twitchy guy with veiny skin stretched over swollen biceps, a tattoo of a swastika on his tongue. Teeth filed into razor-sharp fangs--you know the type. And you're chopping off his head because, even with eight bullet holes in him, you're pretty sure he's about to spring back to his feet and eat the look of terror right off your face.

On the follow-through of the last swing, though, the handle of the ax snaps in a spray of splinters. You now have a broken ax. So, after a long night of looking for a place to dump the man and his head, you take a trip into town with your ax. You go to the hardware store, explaining away the dark reddish stains on the broken handle as barbecue sauce. You walk out with a brand-new handle for your ax.

The repaired ax sits undisturbed in your garage until the spring when, on on rainy morning, you find in your kitchen a creature that appears to be a foot-long slug with a bulging egg sac on it's tail. Its jaws bite one of your forks in half with what seems like very little effort. You grab your trusty ax and chop the thing into several pieces. On the last blow, however, the ax strikes a metal leg of the overturned kitchen table and chips out a notch right in the middle of the blade.

Of course, a chipped head means yet another trip to the hardware store. They sell you a brand-new head for your ax. As soon as you get home, you meet the reanimated body of the guy you beheaded earlier. He's also got a new head, stitched on with what looks like plastic weed-trimmer line, and it's wearing that unique expression of "you're the man who killed me last winter" resentment that one so rarely encounters in everyday life.

You brandish your ax. The guy takes a long look at the weapon with his squishy, rotting eyes and in a gargly voice he screams, "That's the same ax that beheaded me!"

IS HE RIGHT?




From: "John Dies @ the End"
by: David Wong
Thomas Dunne Books
St. Martin's Press
copyright 2009

 

[MarfMaster]

What the ____ is Paul Giamatti doing in this ____.

Verbatim this was the only thought running through my head for the duration of the trailer

 

[Shatterer of Dreams]

Looks interesting to me. I'll see it.

 

[Natrix]

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_Ra8i0_DAs&hd=1[/ame]

 

[greygoose]

WTF?!!!!

 

[Sachiel]

Film of the year.

 

[torgospizza]

Been a fan of the book since Wong was posting chapters for free on Pointless Waste of Time, and really looking forward to it. The only drawback I see--and it's only a trailer, I know--if that John Cheese seems kind of Stifler-ish. Cheese is only dumb when he's being so intentionally.

 

[crows]

David Wong works for Cracked.com and he writes a lot of really funny articles

https://www.cracked.com/members/David+Wong/


he even made an article about the movie of his book

https://www.cracked.com/article_19477_john-dies-at-end-teaser-trailer.html

2. "I'm confused, didn't that clip begin with Oscar nominated actor Paul Giamatti calling a character 'David Wong'? Was that you?"
It's actually very simple.
There are numerous things wrong with my brain that in the future will almost certainly be classified as diseases. A few years ago, while I was working in a cubicle at an insurance company, I decided that putting all of what I was seeing in my head into words would alleviate the disease by spreading it to other people (it was only much later that someone sat me down and told me that's not how diseases work). The result was a supposed autobiographical story about the time me and my friend John took drugs and were chased by monsters. It was a tale that required 150,000 words to tell and 36 of them were "boner." I called it John Dies at the End because I realized most people were busy and would want to know the most relevant facts right away.

 

[King Darkness]

He's go a new book that just came too, This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It.

 

[fosing]

anybody seen this one yet?