I feel soooo bad for you. I can't imagine being without my sweetheart. She's 14 now, I pray she makes it to at least 20. Ever since I got her, when she was tiny, I would think about and dread that day! Yours reminded me of her because she sleeps on my chest and has been around for the majority of my relationships. When I got her (a neighbor brought her over) I didn't want another cat. I had 2 and the year before I had to put my Bandit asleep, he was 14. But anyway, when I saw her it was love at first sight and I thank God everyday for her. I love her to pieces! So I know what you must be going through, my thoughts are with you! Hope you feel better soon.
Punkycat =^-.-^=