My entire life is nothing but regret over squandered potential and missed opportunities and lost loves. It's all my own fault, I know. I'm lazy. My life sucks cause I'm lazy.
Most of all I regret not keeping the love of my life happy. She left me exactly 15 years ago today, and I never got over it. It's crazy to think that I'm still just a toy collecting loser living alone in a small apartment, and somewhere she probably has a kid in middle school.
I dated other girls since her, but nothing ever compared. I finally gave up on women altogether a few years back. I wonder every single day what could have been if I hadn't been so lazy and stupid.
You should really take some mental health counseling to work out your issues and understand what's preventing you from moving forward. It's also unhealthy to hold onto an old flame for so long. You need help.