What to do, ARGH FRIENDS!!!

[-Super Hans-]

theres been alot of women bashing today

 

[Jen]

I think you got a lot of good advice here. Sounds like you are doing what makes you happy and that is what is most important.

I used to bartend for a number of years...was in the clubs/bar scene for years...and then one day it just got old and was no longer fun.

As we get older we find new things that interest and excite us. Unfortunately, the same is not always true for some of our friends and eventually you do just grow apart. Priorities change...definitions of a good time out change. I find myself more like you. If I'm going out with friends I would rather go out to a nice dinner and a movie. Be somewhere where we can actually have a conversation and hear what the other person is saying.

I don't know what to think of your friends. I've seen a few people in their late 30's/early 40's who still do the club scene. Most of them are single, unhappy with their life and the fact that they are single, and are desperate to hold on to their youth to hopefully finally achieve whatever it is they feel they missed out on. Sadly, most of them don't realize that usually the quality of person they are hoping to meet, they are not going to find in a club.

I'm not saying your friends are like that, as I don't know them. This is just what I have observed around here. Hopefully you can encourage them to try new things and maybe they will actually enjoy themselves...because it doesn't sound like the club scene is really fulfilling for them and may just be more of a habit.

 

[El Roranous]

Oh don't get me started on how evil my gender is. They'll turn on you on a dime too, the moment you say a random thing that they just don't like. I've always been a tomboy because of it. Girls are too complicated. I'm kind of sexist against my own gender.

It's not just girls. Guys are just as evil, they just fu ^K you over in a more straight-forward manner. As I have said, you have to take it on a case by case basis.

 

[Skiman]

Oh don't get me started on how evil my gender is. They'll turn on you on a dime too, the moment you say a random thing that they just don't like. I've always been a tomboy because of it. Girls are too complicated. I'm kind of sexist against my own gender.

Well there's many guys that will turn on a dime for a girl. Probably happens on both sides...

that's where I bring my famous quote of "In da face" comes to play

 

[Jen]

Oh don't get me started on how evil my gender is. They'll turn on you on a dime too, the moment you say a random thing that they just don't like. I've always been a tomboy because of it. Girls are too complicated. I'm kind of sexist against my own gender.

Women can be evil. You could not pay me enough money in the world to relive high school or college. They were brutal back then. Now that I'm in my later 30's, I have to say that for the first time in my life I have some really good female friends. Maybe it's because we are older and are sick of all the stupid b.s. and just won't put up with it anymore from anyone.

 

[Skiman]

I think you got a lot of good advice here. Sounds like you are doing what makes you happy and that is what is most important.

I used to bartend for a number of years...was in the clubs/bar scene for years...and then one day it just got old and was no longer fun.

As we get older we find new things that interest and excite us. Unfortunately, the same is not always true for some of our friends and eventually you do just grow apart. Priorities change...definitions of a good time out change. I find myself more like you. If I'm going out with friends I would rather go out to a nice dinner and a movie. Be somewhere where we can actually have a conversation and hear what the other person is saying.

I don't know what to think of your friends. I've seen a few people in their late 30's/early 40's who still do the club scene. Most of them are single, unhappy with their life and the fact that they are single, and are desperate to hold on to their youth to hopefully finally achieve whatever it is they feel they missed out on. Sadly, most of them don't realize that usually the quality of person they are hoping to meet, they are not going to find in a club.

I'm not saying your friends are like that, as I don't know them. This is just what I have observed around here. Hopefully you can encourage them to try new things and maybe they will actually enjoy themselves...because it doesn't sound like the club scene is really fulfilling for them and may just be more of a habit.

Nail on the head Jen, geez... now I don't believe this to be everybody but it's tru about my friends. I know deep down a few of them want to find someone special and end the cycle if they could and I think the same as you do, they are never going to find that person or at least there's a slimmer chance of finding that type of individual in such a place. If a person is going to the club to find that Mr. or Mrs. perfect for the rest of their life, I think the odds are stacked against them in the percentage of finding that person.

 

[Skiman]

It's not just girls. Guys are just as evil, they just fu ^K you over in a more straight-forward manner. As I have said, you have to take it on a case by case basis.

I have had friends, that I would rip my own hair (wait... when I did have hair) and carry the former planet Pluto for and be there through thick and thin just to have them ^^^^ all over me whenever it came time in my need.

 

[Adoptedscot]

It's funny because usually if a girl whips out the word "sister" or "sistah" to another girl she's probably in the process of talking down to her. "Yo sistah betta be keepin' yo' mitts offa my man!" or "Sister you need to re-think what you're saying!"

I guess it's just another example of how women are programmed to compete with each other whereas men tend to bond.

Must be a location thing cos here in the UK no-one ever calls each other Sista or Bro (that I know of). Sorry thats wrong, about 10 years ago I used to call my brother 'Bruv' and I call a great friend here 'sis' but that is meant with affection not malice.

I dunno what kind of friends you have Cloud, but I have yet to meet a woman who is 'programmed to compete'. All my friends are very laid back and love meeting new people, male or female.

Things aswell as people change. I think you have different priorities Ski thats all, there nothing written that you or your friends are wrong for doing what makes you/them happy. If they want to live life like they are still in their teens, more power to them but it's not something I would like or do.
Do what makes you happy mate and let your friends do the same. you have found the woman you want to share your life with and have many goals, I know you are a very driven person.
They will always be your friends, that will never change (unless you want it to), just because your priorities have. If you guys are true friends, that will never change, even if someones situation does be it through marriage/children/housemove etc, it won't matter.
Imo anyways.
x

 

[Jen]

Nail on the head Jen, geez... now I don't believe this to be everybody but it's tru about my friends. I know deep down a few of them want to find someone special and end the cycle is they could and I think the same as you do, they'll are never going to find that person or at least there's a slimmer chance of finding that type of individual in such a place. If a person is going to the club to find that Mr. or Mrs. perfect for the rest of their life, I think the odds are stacked against them in the percentage of finding that person.

Well with them being in their late 30's and hanging around females in their early 20's chances are VERY slim they will meet the one. I mean really, clubs are all about flirting and one night stands. As brutal as it sounds, most young females are not going to be into older men...unless they are incredibly good looking and have an attitude that they are "the man" or are rich. Females that go to clubs, mostly want to hook up with guys around their age. And most times they are not looking for anything serious. They want to have fun...and being with someone older who most likely is at at point in his life where he is ready to commit and settle down, is not what they are after.

From what you said, it sounds like they keep to themselves at these clubs and aren't really out there mingling and trying to get to know women. That's not going to be too attractive to the club girl. Not that all the girls at clubs are like that...but most of them are. They want to be with the hottest/most social guys and vice versa. Quiet types don't stand much of a chance in a place where everyone is screaming, "look at me!".

 

[Skiman]

Must be a location thing cos here in the UK no-one ever calls each other Sista or Bro (that I know of). Sorry thats wrong, about 10 years ago I used to call my brother 'Bruv' and I call a great friend here 'sis' but that is meant with affection not malice.

I dunno what kind of friends you have Cloud, but I have yet to meet a woman who is 'programmed to compete'. All my friends are very laid back and love meeting new people, male or female.

Things aswell as people change. I think you have different priorities Ski thats all, there nothing written that you or your friends are wrong for doing what makes you/them happy. If they want to live life like they are still in their teens, more power to them but it's not something I would like or do.
Do what makes you happy mate and let your friends do the same. you have found the woman you want to share your life with and have many goals, I know you are a very driven person.
They will always be your friends, that will never change (unless you want it to), just because your priorities have. If you guys are true friends, that will never change, even if someones situation does be it through marriage/children/housemove etc, it won't matter.
Imo anyways.
x

Thank you Shell for your comment, I have the grails of all grails and that is my gal. I wish IKEA would make a big enough case

 

[Skiman]

Well with them being in their late 30's and hanging around females in their early 20's chances are VERY slim they will meet the one. I mean really, clubs are all about flirting and one night stands. As brutal as it sounds, most young females are not going to be into older men...unless they are incredibly good looking and have an attitude that they are "the man" or are rich. Females that go to clubs, mostly want to hook up with guys around their age. And most times they are not looking for anything serious. They want to have fun...and being with someone older who most likely is at at point in his life where he is ready to commit and settle down, is not what they are after.

From what you said, it sounds like they keep to themselves at these clubs and aren't really out there mingling and trying to get to know women. That's not going to be too attractive to the club girl. Not that all the girls at clubs are like that...but most of them are. They want to be with the hottest/most social guys and vice versa. Quiet types don't stand much of a chance in a place where everyone is screaming, "look at me!".

Yea, they are basically -->

 

[The Ween]

theres been alot of women bashing today

Sure has! I suck!

 

[DinoLast]

Has anybody else found that when you do go to these pick up bars and clubs, that Women are more likely to approach you when your already with somebody? This hardly ever happened when I was single, maybe they could sense the desperation.
Believe it or not when this happens to me I hate it, because when I turn them down for a drink or a dance, I get this sense that I'm being rude in some way. I'm more than happy to stay away from those places

 

[Skiman]

Sure has! I suck!

 

[Skiman]

Has anybody else found that when you do go to these pick up bars and clubs, that Women are more likely to approach you when your already with somebody? This hardly ever happened when I was single, maybe they could sense the desperation.
Believe it or not when this happens to me I hate it, because when I turn them down for a drink or a dance, I get this sense that I'm being rude in some way. I'm more than happy to stay away from those places

and the most interesting part or at least here in Saint Louis, they don't care if you have that ring around the finger

 

[Morbach]

Sure has! I suck!

That is never a bad thing.

 

[hairlesswookiee]

and the most interesting part or at least here in Saint Louis, they don't care if you have that ring around the finger

I'm fairly certain its like that at most clubs. I was stationed in San Antonio and my friend who was married was getting chased around by more women than younger/ better looking dudes. I think girls almost think like guys in the sense that they like to chase something they can't have.

 

[Morbach]

Has anybody else found that when you do go to these pick up bars and clubs, that Women are more likely to approach you when your already with somebody? This hardly ever happened when I was single, maybe they could sense the desperation. Believe it or not when this happens to me I hate it, because when I turn them down for a drink or a dance, I get this sense that I'm being rude in some way. I'm more than happy to stay away from those places

Yeah, I think it is funny as ???? when women are the aggressors like that. It isn't always a bad thing but in a bar scene it is.

 

[ChrisCJ99]

In honor of my infamous venting threads, I think we should rename this one "Why do friends have this much effect on people???"..................


Glad to see all the great input here There's some great people here on the boards....

 

[Something Sexy]

I now exactly what you mean by the living part and of course living for me is way different than living for most.

Rory, I get excited about being the only person up at 3:30 a.m. to go to the gym, driving my car to be the first person at the gym and start my cardio session. No one else is doing it but I know someone that is, that's me... I get excited about buying a crate eggs at the grocery store and cracking them open one by one just to slam a glass full of whites and call it a morning while heading to work. I know far from what anyone would be called living but to me that is living, I've only got one life to try to get to be the best natural bodybuilder I can be. Maybe it won't happen, maybe I will fail but I know no one works harder than I do in my county for comps. It's crazy I know but that passion is what drives me everyday and maybe someones passion is go out to the night and go bar hopping hey if they are having fun and enjoying it, it's not my place to say so... Go at it, like you said LIVE and live life to the fullest, don't hold back!

I'm trying not to hurt anyone and I think I've done a good job so far, I was kind of hoping by most of these guys hitting 40 they would eventually see my point or at least start to slow down but like you said they are living and living it up, what is fun for them is prolly no longer fun for me and I guess that's where we go with "to each their own"

BAM!

That is all that matters. Some people think living life is going out and getting drunk every night, other thing it is reading books, other video games and you body building. Living life is however the ???? you want to live your life so no ones opinion really matters except your own.