William Shatners Toupee
Super Freak
Due to the many letters and requests I am now officially posting information on how you too can become a "Close, personal friend" of Rick. I am confident we have a package here to fit your financial lifestyle.
For $275.95 you too can now become a "Close, personal friend of Rick" basic package subscriber. With this membership, you get a picture of YOU with ME for your wallet (note: not real---PHOTOSHOPPED), bragging rights that you are my friend, and when you tell people you are, I won't deny it or press embarrassing legal charges against you (subject to check clearing bank first).
But wait, do you need the quality of life only the implied friendship of Rick can provide? Can you afford more? Then you want the Platinum Package!
The Platinum Package for $595.99 gives you all of the perks of the basic package, PLUS a personalized Christmas card to hang on your refrigerator or cubical at work!!! (Note: due to severe time restraints, Rick's signature on the Christmas card may not be his own).
For a mere $300 more I will also leave a voice-mail on your cell phone saying "you are my friend" for everyone to hear, where I will use YOUR OWN NAME, and state that "I think I left my coat at your house last night when we watched the game".
WOW! Your friends will be amazed you actually know, and are, a "close, personal friend of Rick"!!! The opposite sex will actually start to like you (Note: alchohol may still need to be applied) and your life will suddenly start to have meaning (Note: alchohol may still need to be applied). Subscribe today!
(Note: Do to other commitments, Rick's voice-mail may be left by a Samuel L Jackson impersonator.)
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