Your Favorite Film/TV Quotes

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I searched the forum and didn't see this. So why not have some fun and share funny or dramatic quotes with each other from our favorite movies and tv shows.

I'll start us off.

Family Guy

Lois: I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm married to a child!

Peter: You better watch who you're calling a child Lois, because if I'm a child then you know what that makes you? A pedophile! And I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert!
 
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I.Basterds:
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: I have heard of the Bear Jew.
Lt. Aldo Raine: What did you hear about him, Werner?
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: He beats German soldiers with a club
Lt. Aldo Raine: He bashes their brains in with a baseball bat is what he does.
Col. Hans Landa: Tell me, Aldo, if I were sitting where you're sitting, would you show me mercy?
Lt. Aldo Raine: Nope.
Col. Hans Landa: What's that English saying about shoes and feet?
Lt. Aldo Raine: 'Looks like the shoe's on the other foot.' Yeah, I was just thinking that.
 
thought i share those



Tyler Durden: Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy ____ we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.


Tyler Durden: It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything


Tyler Durden: You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your _____*ING khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world
 
Inglourious Basterds:

I must say, damn good stuff, sir!


My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I'm putting together a special team, and I need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers. Now, y'all might've heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we'll be leaving a little earlier. We're gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. And once we're in enemy territory, as a bushwhackin' guerrilla army, we're gonna be doin' one thing and one thing only... killin' Nazis. Now, I don't know about y'all, but I sure as hell didn't come down from the goddamn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half of Sicily and jump out of a ____in' air-o-plane to teach the Nazis lessons in humanity. Nazi ain't got no humanity. They're the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin', mass murderin' maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That's why any and every every son of a _____ we find wearin' a Nazi uniform, they're gonna die. Now, I'm the direct descendant of the mountain man Jim Bridger. That means I got a little Injun in me. And our battle plan will be that of an Apache resistance. We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And the German won't not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And the German will be sickened by us, and the German will talk about us, and the German will fear us. And when the German closes their eyes at night and they're tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with. Sound good?



You know something Utivich? This just might be my masterpiece.



:rock :rock :rock :rock :rock
 
there's this on from rocky balboa

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!
Rocky Balboa
Speaking to his son in Rocky Balboa (2006)
 
I have this one on my ipod

You're gonna have to go through hell, worse than any nightmare you've ever dreamed. But when it's over, I know you'll be the one standing. You know what you have to do. Do it.
 
pulp fiction :D

Jules: The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee.
 
There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.
 
Blade Runner:

"I've seen things you "people" wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time like... tears in the rain. Time to die."
 
I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again!
 
"Two days ago, I saw a vehicle that would haul that tanker. You want to get out of here? You talk to me."

"The chain in those handcuffs is high tensile steel. It'd take you ten minutes to hack through it with this. Now, if you're lucky, you could hack through your ankle in five minutes."

"That's right. I've killed women and children. I've killed just about everything that walks or crawled at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Little Bill, for what you did to Ned."

"I'm gonna go have a smoke right now. You want a smoke? You don't smoke, do ya, right? What are ya, one of those fitness freaks, huh? Go ____ yourself."

"Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe ____ yourself."
 
there's this on from rocky balboa

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!
Rocky Balboa
Speaking to his son in Rocky Balboa (2006)
:goodpost:

Vern: Do you think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman?
Teddy: What are you, cracked?
Vern: Why not? I saw the other day. He was carrying five elephants in one hand!
Teddy: Boy, you don't know nothing! Mighty Mouse is a cartoon. Superman's a real guy. There's no way a cartoon could beat up a real guy.
Vern: Yeah, maybe you're right. It'd be a good fight, though.

Chris: You four-eyed pile of ____!
Teddy: A pile of ____ has a thousand eyes.

Gordie: Suck my fat one, you cheap dime store hood.

Gordie: Do you think I'm weird?
Chris: Definitely.
Gordie: No man, seriously. Am I weird?
Chris: Yeah, but so what? Everybody's weird.

Gordie: Alright, alright, Mickey's a mouse, Donald's a duck, Pluto's a dog. What's Goofy?

Tallahassee: [discovers Hostess truck filled with Sno-Balls] Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Sno Balls? Where's the ____ing Twinkies?
Columbus: I love Sno-Balls.
Tallahassee: I hate coconut. Not the taste, consistency.
Columbus: [eats a Sno Ball] Fresh.
Tallahassee: Oh, this Twinkie thing, it ain't over yet.

Thomas Wayne: Why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up

The Joker: [holding a knife inside Gambol's mouth] Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was... a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not-one-bit. So - me watching - he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it! Turns to me, and he says, "Why So Serious?" Comes at me with the knife... "Why So Serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth... "Let's put a smile on that face!" And...
[looks sidelong at Gambol's thug, watching the whole thing in horror]
The Joker: Why so serious?

Batman: Then why do you want to kill me?
The Joker: [laughs] I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, NO! No. You... you... complete me.
Batman: You're garbage who kills for money.
The Joker: Don't talk like one of them. You're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these... these civilized people, they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve.

The Joker: Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just... do things.
 
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Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man... June 8th. My life has taken another turn again. The days can go on with regularity over and over, one day indistinguishable from the next. A long continuous chain. Then suddenly, there is a change.

- Travis Bickle (Taxi Driver)


This entire movie :

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ydqjqZ_3oc"]YouTube - ‪good fellas‬‏[/ame]

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsogswrH6ck"]YouTube - ‪Your Opinion Man‬‏[/ame]

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2Q7YRDL90E"]YouTube - ‪Deadwood: Al's Take On Misfortune‬‏[/ame]

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=894C3Lz2Z2A"]YouTube - ‪Kinetic Typography - Fight Club: Tyler Durden's Quote "Not Your Job"‬‏[/ame]

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BznwsT6r_tM"]YouTube - ‪Arrested Development - I Just "Blue" Myself‬‏[/ame]

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYexfzWjRDI"]YouTube - ‪The Best of Paulie Walnuts - The Sopranos - Seasons 1 & 2‬‏[/ame]
 
Full Metal Jacket

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy ____ing walrus-looking piece of ____! Get the ____ off of my obstacle! Get the ____ down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you, private?
Private Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked ____ that high!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece o' ____, Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
: Bull____. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TNhS81w4bM&feature=related"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TNhS81w4bM&feature=related[/ame]

oh, and

...you climb obstacles like old people fakk.
 
Mr. Wu: Bak Wai Lo Me... Cocksucka.
Al Swearengen: Yeah, glad I taught you that ____in' word. These are whites, huh?
[Swearengen gestures back and forth to Wu's drawing]
Mr. Wu: HO! White COCKSUCKA!
[Wu produces a bag]
Al Swearengen: [Swearengen again motions back and forth to Wu and Wu's drawing] Two white __________s killed him... and stole the dope he was bringin' to you!
Mr. Wu: White Cocksucka... YOU! SWIDGEN!
Al Swearengen: The dope you were gonna ____in' sell to me?
Mr. Wu: White Cocksucka...
Al Swearengen: These two white __________s? Who the ____ did it?
Mr. Wu: Wu...
Al Swearengen: [Swearengen is completely exasperated] Who, you ignorant ____in' chink?
Mr. Wu: WU?
Al Swearengen: WHO? WHO? Who stole the ____in' dope?
Mr. Wu: COCKSUCKA!
 
[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aNVN-911Tc"]YouTube - ‪Not A Finger‬‏[/ame]

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ld36IkitU8Q"]YouTube - ‪Sons of B*tches! Bumpuses! (A Christmas Story Quote)‬‏[/ame]
 
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain't this place a geographical oddity. Two weeks from everywhere!

Ulysses Everett McGill: Damn! We're in a tight spot!

Ulysses Everett McGill: Baptism! You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!
 
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