Wow, SSC_Nerd, that was an awesome review! You make some very valid points, for sure.
Well, after working myself up so much, and anticipating this movie pretty much more than anything since The Phantom Menace (and we all know how THAT turned out), I got back last night at 3am in a state of.....
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PURE GIDDY-NESS! True, this movie is pretty long, but I honestly didn't really notice until it was over, and I was shocked to discover that it was 2:30! Seriously, this flick is the most creative adventure story I think I have ever witnessed! From the sets, to the costumes, to the make-up, to the special effects, this POTC shows you things you would NEVER have thought of (Davy Jones' crew is pure genius... I'm going back to watch it again tonight just to see the crew again - oh, and also to see an EXTREMELY hilarious sequence of scenes that had me laughing to the point of tears - I won't spoil it for you!).
True, like all stories, this one combines parts of other classic stories (Star Wars, Indiana Jones, The Princess Bride, The Odyssey, blah blah blah), but manages to put a brand new spin on them. I love how they played with the characters and made some of them do unexpected things (Elizabeth most of all, and Jack to a certain extent - I think Will's time is coming in the 3rd).
I'm pretty mad at the critics. I think some have been totally unfair, and most of the ones who've given it bad reviews seem to just have copied each other, line for line. Also, about people saying that they hate how earnestly Orlando Bloom delivers his lines - well, that his CHARACTER, sillies! Will is the earnest, optimistic, naive, true-hearted side to Jack's selfish, indecisive, jaded, lying side. And I think we may see a turn-around of Will's character in the third one, after what he witnessed at the end of this one (sorry to be so oblique, but I really don't want to spoil it for anyone! I went in pretty unspoiled and enjoyed the HECK out of the surprises.) Oh well, I loved it, and that's the most important thing, right?
On another note, I have read some reports from viewers who didn't love the first saying that this one was better for them. I, on the other hand, LOVE the first (love it), and think that maybe this one is a TINY notch below it, due to some minor editing issues. Plus, the suprise of Captain Jack will never be the same. Our first-ever glimpse of him in the leaky boat in CotBP is classic. I would give it a DMC a 4/5 - there are definitely faults, but they are easily overlooked for the pure entertainment value that this film possesses.
LIKES:
Captain Jack, of course. ESPECIALLY in any scene that had him running. I LOVE that ridiculous arm-flailing run! And you can just tell how much Johnny Depp LOVES this role.
The recurring rum theme. Pirates love their rum!
The ENTIRE cannibal island sequence of events - AWESOME, from beginning to end!!!! If you don't love this part, something is seriously wrong with your inner child, and you should probably have that checked out. Even though it is pretty useless to the entire plot, it's totally hilarious. It's also WAY over-the-top (but the difference between over-the-top in this movie to over-the-top in something like the Superman plane sequence is that this movie KNOWS it's over-the-top and is doing it purely for the laughs).
The brawling scene on Tortuga - Jack loves his hats!
The Kraken. And the way they call the Kraken.
Davy Jones' crew and ship. And organ. And music box. And Davy himself - I couldn't take my eyes off him everytime he was on screen.
The final shot (not the one after the credits - which was cute, although not necessary - but the one right before the credits roll. I'm not going to spoil it, but the audience reaction to it was very very very cool).
There are some incredibly quote-able lines in this one, just like in the first. I can't think of them right now, because I need to see it again - plus I have a horrible memory for movie lines - ha!
The scenes on the voodoo priestess' island - very cool set. It's almost straight from the ride, with the fireflies and the old house in the swamp. The actress was wonderful too.
And please allow me one little, tiny fan-girl moment - I sqeeee'd like an adolescent girl when Orlando's shirt was torn off him
I can't help it, I love that boy.
DISLIKES:
Um....
Oh, I didn't like that they kept dredging up some old jokes from the first movie. Some of them went over well, but others fell flat.
And, whenever Johnny Depp wasn't on screen, part of me was sad, so it proves that the movie would really be nothing without him. But, luckily, it DOES have him, so there's nothing to worry about
And, some parts were a little confusing, but it's all explained by the end. So if you get easily perturbed when plot points are not explained RIGHT AWAY, this movie WILL frustrate you.
Addition on edit: The after-credits scene was pretty dumb and worthless
Oh, and, um, well, that's about it
BEWARE - HERE THAR BE SPOILERS!
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Three questions:
1) What the HECK was that dice game about? I had no clue what the rules were, and what did lying have anything to do with it? How can you lie, when it's a game of chance and you have no idea what dice you threw? I'm thinking they must have cut out a fair bit of the explanation part to make it move faster. It was a great scene, establishing character and what-not, but I was fairly confused by the rules of the game.
2) What was that island that Jack was on at the beginning, when he stole the drawing of the key? Was it a 'pirate torturing' island? I wish it would have been explained better. But it sure did look cool, along with pretty much every other set in the movie!
3) Will Jack hardly be in the 3rd one? Since the whole deal is that they have to travel to the end of the world to find him (how exactly will that work anyway? I hope he tears apart the Kraken from the inside, like the guy at the end of Brain Dead/Dead Alive!!), I would expect that they don't find him and the Pearl until the end. Although Barbossa is rockin', I will miss Jack if he's not in the 3rd very much
I don't think I can wait another year to find out what happens!!!