Flash-Fiction Winners to be announced this week. Good luck to all!

[gonzo]

I posted mine in a thread a while back, but thought I'd post it in this new thread if anyone's interested...

I am being escorted down a dark hallway by a brute of a man. I hesitate to even grant him human status. He’s as much a monster as the “attractions” caged on either side of us. We reach a small card table, dimly light by a makeshift chandelier. Two pint-sized parasites fold their cards as the Ringmaster reaches forward to collect his winnings. He acknowledges my presence and motions towards an overturned trunk that doubles as my chair this evening.

“Is that it? Is that my newest acquisition?” the Ringmaster queries, pointing at the parcel I am palming.

“It might be.” Before handing over anything, I require affirmation that this will be a suitable destination.

“Ah yes, well, let the tour begin, then.”

The Ringmaster and his Cro-Magnon Man guide me through a maze of steel enclosures. I was anticipating a bearded woman or a pig fetus stuffed into a jar. The Ringmaster specializes in more “exotic” attractions.

“We call this one Url. The “h” is silent.” The Ringmaster grabs a fish carcass from a nearby bucket and tosses it into the cage. A hand reaches from behind the shadows and eagerly accepts the delicacy.

“As you can see, our guests are treated with the utmost respect for their… unfortunate conditions.” The Ringmaster pulls a lever. A curtain separates. I now stand eye to eye to eye to eye with the most unfortunate looking creature I’ve ever had the pleasure of walking away from.

I inform the Ringmaster that I am satisfied with the conditions he provides for his “guests”. I suggest that we return to his office and commence the transaction. A smile fills the Ringmaster’s face. I am suddenly reminded of how close he must have come to being on the polar side of one of these cages.

I once again find myself below the beer can chandelier. I’m hesitant to put my parcel down with the Ringmaster’s Yeti breathing his onion breath down my neck. The Ringmaster is anxious to examine the contents.

“Let’s see the little fellow, shall we?”

I’ve exhausted the Ringmaster’s patience. Not wanting to sully the deal, I comply with his wishes and deposit my parcel in the center of the table. The Ringmaster and his goon both lock their eyes on my hands as I peel back the packaging. The Ringmaster runs his tongue across his upper lip.

“It’s disgusting. I love it!” he snarls.

The Ringmaster rolls forward and picks up the Sideshow Collectibles Twilight Zone Gremlin. He holds it above his head, exposing its putrid green pajamas to the light.

“Look, Santos, isn’t he precious?” A single tear streaks down the monster’s face.

No one noticed as I took my leave. If they did, they didn’t try to stop me. I left without accepting the agreed upon commission. But I did not leave empty handed. “Isn’t that right, Url?” I remark as I look down to my left.

“FLAGOOBLEGLOP!” Url agrees.

 

[LOTRSWfan]

Here are two of my three:


Ju-mumba, the Homeless Sideshow Collector

Our tale is about Ju-mumba, the Homeless Sideshow Collector. Poor Ju-mumba never had it good in life. He was never popular in school, the girls didn't like him and he could never keep a steady job. By the young age of 25, Ju-mumba was living in an abandoned van down by the river. Ju-mumba was so fed up with life that he decided never to leave his van again.

Going on three weeks of not leaving the van, Ju-mumba became very weak from lack of food or water. He was on the brink of death when a miracle happened.

Knock, knock, knock came a rapping on his van door.

"Who's there?" questioned Ju-mumba with what little strength he had left. The door slide open, revealing a messy, heavy-set man.

“I’m Shakira, your fairy Godmother,” replied the large man. Ju-mumba stared at Shakira, clearly not believe that the person in front of him was the sexy singer.

“Your what?” asked Ju-mumba, still not sure what to say.

“It’s the name, isn’t it?” Shakira answered, clearly looking frustrated, “That chick stole my name when I made her famous.” Ju-mumba sat up as Shakira talked.

“What do you want?” asked Ju-mumba.

“I am here to grant you one wish. Anything you want. This will change your life.” Ju-mumba sat for a moment, thinking about how he could change his life.

“I wish for a complete Sideshow Collectibles collection.”

“What?” asked a shocked Shakira, “You could have anything in the world, the power to change your life, and you chose collectibles?”

“Yes, now grant my wish and I will show you how it will change my life. Oh yeah, give me two Daddy Balrogs.”

“Very well!” said Shakira as he clapped his hands.

The deed was done. Shakira disappeared and the ground around the van was littered with a complete Sideshow collection. With a smile on his face, Ju-mumba picked up one of the two Balrogs and marched to a collectable shop down the road. Five minutes later, Ju-mumba was Four thousand dollars richer.

That was all it took. Ju-mumba was able to buy a suit, get a job and an apartment. Within weeks he had moved into his place (with a very large room for his life changing collection), was making a ridiculous amount of money selling polystone and plastic to toy factories, and had met a beautiful girl named, you guessed it, Shakira. Luckily for Ju-mumba, she did not look like his fairy Godmother, but looked more like the sexy singer.

Sideshow Collectibles saved Ju-mumba the Homeless Sideshow Collector’s life.



NAME THAT COLLECTABLE!!

A flashy game show host enters from behind the curtain, waving to the applauding audience. “Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of NAME THAT COLLECTABLE!! I am your host Peter Banner. On today's show we will be introducing the newest and up to this point, the most controversial Sideshow Collectable product to date. Can anyone guess what this highly limited and collectable piece might be? You there, in the front row,” the host says as he points to a young boy wearing a Sideshow T-Shirt.

“Hi Peter, I am SOOOOOOO excited to be here. I traveled all the way fr-“ is all the boy manages to get out before the host interrupts him.

“Alrighty, this kid talks too much,” says the host as he points to another audience member, “How about you, can you tell us what the item is?” So nervous that he will be cut off, the audience member replies without thinking.

“Would it be the new Sideshow exclusive Gray Hulk VS Spider-Man exclusive diorama?”

“Yes it would! As a prize for guessing right, we are going to give you one of these fifty statues!” The host shouts as the lights in the auditorium start to flash wildly.

“Oh my God! Really?” the stunned fan asks.

“No, not really,” replies the host with an evil smile on his face, “Now, If you will all turn your attention to front of the stage, you will be able to catch a glimpse of this very statue.” The entire audience moves to the front of their seats, eager to admire the beauty of the new product. The curtains open quickly, revealing the diorama. Before a single person can “oooh” or “aaah,”the curtain closes faster then it opened. “Wasn't that amazing!!” screams the host as the lights start to flash again.

“Ummm, it was only shown for a second. We didn't see it,” comes a voice from the crowd.

“Really, I'm sorry, I guess you will have to look at photos of it, just like everyone else in the world who missed out. As you see, this very limited edition statue sold out in a blink of an eye, so it is only fair that you get to look at it for so long.” Realizing that the audience is about to turn against him, the host thinks fast, “ And that is the end of our show today everyone. Thank you so much for flying out to see this amazing diorama. Have a safe trip home.” Before the host is even done with his last sentence, he runs behind the curtain for cover. The audience starts to file out, still stunned from the “show.”

“Wow, that was kinda disappointing” a man says to his wife as they stand to leave.

“I know, I was hoping to at least get to see the diorama close up,” she replies.

“That’s ok, the Green Hulk version still rocks. And we can always just paint it gray anyway.”

 

[gdb]

Right on! Some good entries, everyone.

Say, gonzo and madden821, what have you titled your pieces?

 

[gonzo]

Attraction.

 

[Darth Madden]

Right on! Some good entries, everyone.

Say, gonzo and madden821, what have you titled your pieces?

I just called mine "Jimmy"... I guess I wasn't feeling to creative at that moment. I was watcing the Seinfeld episode where the guy keeps calling himself Jimmy when I was thinking about this story so thats where the name of my kid came from.

 

[tomandshell]

I am expecting Sideshow to announce the winners in Thursday night's newsletter, but I keep checking the site throughout the day anyway...

We have some great entries posted here! This just goes to show how much fun it will be to read everybody's entries when they become available. It will be tough to pick one from the ten posted to get the $75 gift certificate. (Unless, of course, one of them is mine, then I know who will get my vote!) But honestly, with all of these creative minds in our midst, it will be a lot of fun to read what you guys and gals have come up with.

 

[gdb]

It will be tough to pick one from the ten posted to get the $75 gift certificate. (Unless, of course, one of them is mine, then I know who will get my vote!) But honestly, with all of these creative minds in our midst, it will be a lot of fun to read what you guys and gals have come up with.

That's very true. I mean, what do we base our votes on? Creativity? Style? Lack of typographical errors? The genre that appeals to us most? The one that highlights a piece from our own wish list or collection? This will be tricky.

 

[user 131]

I went the "tear jerker" route..

Man, you weren't joking. Good story.

 

[Dusty]

That's very true. I mean, what do we base our votes on? Creativity? Style? Lack of typographical errors? The genre that appeals to us most? The one that highlights a piece from our own wish list or collection? This will be tricky.

Yes, it IS tricky!! The official Sideshow panel of judges judged based on creativity, originality, and read-ability (ie: most concise story-telling, given the low number of words allowed), but Collector's Choice is Collector's Choice, so you guys can just pick the one that appeals to you the most, for whatever reason!

Can't wait to get them posted! Still not sure exactly *when* they will be going up, but the results will definitely be posted in the newsletter

 

[LOTRSWfan]

Yes, it IS tricky!! The official Sideshow panel of judges judged based on creativity, originality, and read-ability (ie: most concise story-telling, given the low number of words allowed), but Collector's Choice is Collector's Choice, so you guys can just pick the one that appeals to you the most, for whatever reason!

Can't wait to get them posted! Still not sure exactly *when* they will be going up, but the results will definitely be posted in the newsletter

Any hints as to if we have already seen the winner or one of the winners posted?

 

[Darth Madden]

Any hints as to if we have already seen the winner or one of the winners posted?

As long as he doesn't say, "since you guys posted your stories early you are all now disqualified" I will be happy... I want to keep that .01% chance of winning alive.

 

[tomandshell]

Remember, you would have to have entered approximately 4.77 times to have a 1% chance of winning. I entered once, so I figure I have about a 0.2% chance of winning. If you entered even once, your chances of winning are greater than .01%. How's that for looking on the bright side!

 

[Darth Madden]

Remember, you would have to have entered approximately 4.77 times to have a 1% chance of winning. I entered once, so I figure I have about a 0.2% chance of winning. If you entered even once, your chances of winning are greater than .01%. How's that for looking on the bright side!

he he he he he.. that helps a little.

 

[LOTRSWfan]

waiting sucks

 

[dr2red]

I am just wondering if the winner(s)have already been
notified?
Being surprised would be nice but I think the winners already
know who they are.

 

[tomandshell]

I am just wondering if the winner(s)have already been
notified?
Being surprised would be nice but I think the winners already
know who they are.

Speak up, winners! Put the rest of us out of our misery!!

 

[LOTRSWfan]

I am just wondering if the winner(s)have already been
notified?
Being surprised would be nice but I think the winners already
know who they are.

Really? What makes you think that?

 

[gonzo]

I doubt they would tell the winners beforehand. Too much of a gloat factor possible.

 

[LOTRSWfan]

I doubt they would tell the winners beforehand. Too much of a gloat factor possible.

Yeah, it would take away from the suspense as well.

 

[LOTRSWfan]

Winners are up!

https://www.sideshowtoy.com/php/flashfictionChoice.php


Not me