Flexibility in Self-Identity? Help settle a debate.

[ShadowX81]

What part of "im not changing my interests or who I am" do I have to keep repeating?

Nothing im doing I haven't wanted to do long before her.

 

[The Ween]

Id hope so.

Honestly she is an attractive girl and im sure between the time ive met her and now, she has most likely had a date here and there.

Just like a new workout. Make it a habbit now and then it naturally becomes part of your routine.




Honestly (and by saying this im opening up alot here) ive been focusing so much on work in the past year (the career is more of a way of life than a job) that ive kind of stopped persuing anything else. Alot of potential hobbies have been backlogged; and combining that with my inherant natural quiet dimenor, ive become quite a boring person in the past year to the point where I have a hard time staying interesting in a conversation. And sometimes in trying to force it, some of the most stupid crap imagineable comes out of my mouth.

Plus I do believe that making small improvements to your appearance and the way you carry yourself can do worlds for your self image. Look at Christian Bale's new look to see how much a difference small changes can make.

People in this thread are acting like im completly changing who I am. All im really doing is just making an effort to be more social and making some time for a couple hobbies that ive been wanting to get around to long before her. Honestly I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't already think we were a good match for eachother. Its just me being an awkward idiot that kept screwing up a promising start.

The way I see the basic philosphy behind this change is: "same product, better advertising."

Christian Bale looks horrible!

But anyway, do what you want to do. In the long run you'll do exactly what you want to do anyway despite what anyone else says.

 

[Lejuan]

Right, this thread has gone on long enough - now it's time to post some pics of this girl so we can all judge her, as well as your taste in women.

 

[crows]

I wonder what the girl would say if she read this thread. What would she think if she knew about all of this.

 

[RavenEye]

I wonder what the girl would say if she read this thread. What would she think if she knew about all of this.

Oh I can guess...

 

[ShadowX81]

If you aren't going to be helpful why even post here?

 

[RavenEye]

Jeez... Really? Dude... If a woman doesn't like ya for who ya are, funny, yourself, interests, etc then it'll never work. Changing yourself to appease someone is low and making a calculated conclusion isn't going to work either.

If you aren't going to be helpful why even post here?

Thought I did?

 

[ShadowX81]

Which is a comment that ive already responded to like 5 times already.

Sorry, its just I have been stressing that point since the OP and no one seems to be listening. Its not even really the focus of the question I was asking in the first place.

 

[Lejuan]

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmnD6wW6wcc[/ame]

 

[devilof76]

What I'm hearing is that he's managed to introvert himself with work, and now wants to extrovert himself. Sounds like he would have better chances if he was more outward with himself. That's not changing who he is, it's making himself more visible.

Am I on the right track Shadow?

 

[tbay]

I dont think self improvement needs to be a prerequisite to starting a relationship with this girl. It seems like you might be focusing on self improvement and intellectualizing this whole situation to keep yourself from actually asking the girl out and suffering the possibility of rejection.

Ask her out before someone else does. Although I agree that attractive/non desperate women make up their minds pretty quickly about a guy, she'll probably be intrigued by your confidence and be willing to reevaluate your relationship. Besides taking risks is a part of self improvement.

As another freak stated much more efficiently: you're putting the p on a pedestal

 

[crows]

he could have asked her out already and work on the self improvement while dating her.
It's not like he is thinking about marrying this girl or something lol

 

[Devil_666]

So give us an update, did you bang that chick yet or what!?

 

[azurepred]

just skimming through a lot of this, I think it's good the OP wants to improve himself; however, I think I agree with others that have said it's not wise to change for someone that your not with and use that person as your motivation because it's a rough fall if she's not feeling you and you turns you down. If you care about this chick on any level besides just banging her, just try to stay friends or stay in her "circle" and I guarantee if she's into you, you'll know it without trying too hard to impress her. I'm kind of now just learning this kind of stuff myself. From my past experiences, trying to hard gets you nowhere with women, which is why you have to be careful in using them as motivation.

 

[Jen]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmnD6wW6wcc

That movie was on tv last night and I got sucked right in. I had forgotten how good it is.

 

[Lejuan]

That movie was on tv last night and I got sucked right in. I had forgotten how good it is.

I like Helen Hunt (and Nicholson, almost goes without saying). I enjoyed her latest performance in The Sessions as well. Mad About You I never really liked, it seems like an age away now.

 

[devilof76]

I met her not too long ago. Her butt still looks good in pajama pants.