If you could, would you choose the sexuality of your child?

[IronLungs31]

No need in playing God. Whatever the good man upstairs chooses for me to have. I'm good with it just as long as it's healthy and all the normal things you want.

 

[Devil_666]

I'm also getting the impression from some answers that people think its a choice, and you would somehow be taking away this choice - no you wouldn't be, because it isn't a choice.

I disagree. Sexual preference IS a choice. Like every other like/dislike human beings have. No one is born straight OR gay OR bisexual. Just like no one is born liking bondage, S&M, role playing, etc.

At no point did I consciously choose to be straight.

At some point, even if it was unconsciously, you DID. Unless you're saying that as soon as you were born you were automatically attracted to women as a little baby!? Because I doubt that.

 

[IronLungs31]

This'll get ugly quick

Why do I have this feeling you chose gay...

 

[a-dev]

I disagree. Sexual preference IS a choice. Like every other like/dislike human beings have. No one is born straight OR gay OR bisexual. Just like no one is born liking bondage, S&M, role playing, etc.



At some point, even if it was unconsciously, you DID. Unless you're saying that as soon as you were born you were automatically attracted to women as a little baby!? Because I doubt that.

That's not how I see it. A choice is when you have 2 options in front you and you pick one. The thought of having a sexual preference for other men never entered my head at all. There was no choosing involved. As soon as I had any sexual thoughts it was towards women.

 

[devilof76]

Sexual attraction is a sum of choices made over a lifetime. It's a reflection of all a person's values. There may not have been a conscious moment where someone decided which gender they'll be attracted to, but that doesn't make it any less a product of individual preference. (666...brilliant post.)

I am obsessed with dark haired girls. Was I born that way?

 

[Lejuan]

I disagree. Sexual preference IS a choice. Like every other like/dislike human beings have. No one is born straight OR gay OR bisexual. Just like no one is born liking bondage, S&M, role playing, etc.

l

Who in their right mind would choose to like Brussels sprouts?

 

[Nintenjoe]

I've seen a few people answering like as though the poll question is ''if you're child was gay would you still love them?''.

Its not, its ''would you predetermine them to be gay or straight if you could or would you just leave it up to chance''. I voted that I would choose for them to be straight - that doesn't mean that in reality, were my child to be gay, I would reject and cast him/her out.

I'm also getting the impression from some answers that people think its a choice, and you would somehow be taking away this choice - no you wouldn't be, because it isn't a choice. At no point did I consciously choose to be straight. I simply am.

Now if we were to get into discussion about ''curing'' people who are already gay and who are happily gay - yeah then I can see it being a moral issue.

Exactly. Let's keep this on topic and to the point. This thread has nothing to do with loving or not loving your child based on sexuality.

 

[a-dev]

So you guys think this poll is moot. Sexuality is a decision that comes at some point after birth and is not something that is encoded in our genes in some way, thus it couldn't be predetermined by a parent one way or another.

Since its a choice, does that mean that gay people could...change their minds? Lets say a teenage boy decides, unconsciously or otherwise, that he's gay and he tries it out, goes all camp and incurs ridicule and bullying, perhaps even physical gaybashing. Why doesn't he say to himself ''y'know what, this isn't worth it, I'll go and be straight instead''. Has this ever happened? And if not why not? Its a choice afterall. In these kinds of circumstances I would choose the path of least resistance no? It would be most sensible surely.

 

[devilof76]

Probably up to a certain age, a person could change their underlying premises and values, and yes, their sexuality would change. It's a tall order, though. You'd need a knowledge of psychology beyond what the science is capable of (let alone what a teenager knows).

After a certain point, however, values are too deeply integrated to affect change on that large of a scale.

So no, it's not a matter of just up and deciding not to be gay (or straight). Even if it was, it would still be their prerogative. No one has the right to dictate another's identity.

 

[Devil_666]

A choice is when you have 2 options in front you and you pick one.

You always have options. Sexual preference isn't set in stone.

The thought of having a sexual preference for other men never entered my head at all.

Doesn't matter, the option was/still is there. You could decide right now to have a relationship with a dude if you wanted. If it weren't an option, then that would be physically impossible. People assume sexual preference is like

As soon as I had any sexual thoughts it was towards women.

Again, sexual preference (like any other preference) isn't set in stone. You can change your mind. If you were born straight or gay that wouldn't even be an option like hereditary traits i.e. if you're born short being tall is NOT an option. If you're born without arms and/or legs having them is NOT an option.

But anyone can change their sexual preference at any time, as many times as they want throughout their life. Because it's a choice. Not something you're born with.

 

[a-dev]

Interesting, perhaps I've been oversimplifying it. I'm curious what Kara thinks of that - he seemed surprised earlier when someone else referred to sexuality as being a 'decision'.

 

[Eli26]

Yes, because a "What are you eating thread?" is so much better. Having said that, I would feel privileged to have either or. My idea situation is I would like to have a boy and girl. Best of both worlds.

If I could have one and I had a choice, well my preference is a girl. But I would just be happy with a boy. I hope to be a parent one day. I know, frightening thought.

I don't think this is a bad topic. Only if it's taken as such, which it shouldn't be.

 

[devilof76]

It's been dogma for some time now that if it's a choice, then that somehow delegitimizes a person's committment to what is assumed to be sexually abnormal behavior. In reality, what the hell does it matter if someone has abnormal sex, so long as it's not violating anyone's rights? Sex in humans is not strictly about reproduction. A strong case could be made that paints engaging in sex purely for breeding as aberrant.

 

[DiFabio]

I think it goes both ways.

Dev ain't wrong and neither is Devil. I think it's a choice and a preference that someone just inherits. I'm sure there are a lot of folks out there that have those kind of urges (what ever they may be) but either don't act on them (because it's "wrong") or try to repress it. That's their choice.

But the preference isn't a choice. They still have those urges and feelings even if they're not acting on them (which is what I thing a-dev means). Somewhere down the line it's something that's been in their coding, something they were either born with or raised into thinking and how they feel. I can't explain why I like caucasian, perky, brunette women, I just do. Could I resist going after them? Could I choose to pursue a different type? Sure. But deep down inside, I know what I want and know what I like. That's not just the case for sexual preference but all things. Do I have the choice to not eat tacos? Sure. But damn it they're tasty and I like them!








Anyway, if it were my kid would I choose their sexuality if I could? Nah. I'd prefer my son or daughter to be straight, that's what is natural and right to me (biologically, religiously, whatever), but it's up to/on them. As long as they're healthy and I've taught them right, they're good people and they're only sexually deviant or expressing themselves in a way that isn't hurting anyone, I wouldn't care. Have at it I guess. If I ever have to deal with that in my family (a child or relative being a homosexual), I won't disown them or give them a cold shoulder. They're still my son, daughter, uncle, aunt, cousin, friend, etc. HOWEVER, while I'd still love them and support them to an extent, I wouldn't condone it because I don't agree with that lifestyle. That's their lives though, not mine. Would I support marriages, child raising, etc.? Probably not.

 

[fosing]

let the chips fall as they may.

but if i had to choose....

i'd choose to have sex most days of the week.

 

[Devil_666]

Sex in humans is not strictly about reproduction.

Yeah sexual preference and the desire to reproduce are two completely different things. Everyone, regardless of sexual preference is born with the desire to reproduce and advance their species. And that includes all living things. But that's completely different from sexual preference.

 

[a-dev]

I've just always found it strange whenever I read an agony aunt advise someone that they were ''still too young to know what sexuality you are''.....what? If they're old enough to write you a letter on the subject they're old enough to know what sexuality they are. Far as I'm concerned if you're in doubt about it there's a good chance you're gay. You are gay in all probability. I never had any period of indecision about what I was, and I went to all-boys schools.

let the chips fall as they may.

but if i had to choose....

i'd choose to have sex most days of the week.

 

[UltraMarknus]

I would want my kids to be straight. In all honesty, its just easier. No scrutiny from others, family, friends. Its already hard being a kid, growing up and defending yourself. The last thing I would want my child to feel is that there is something "wrong" with them. I would not love them less either way but I would hate to see my children struggle through this.

 

[Boba Ben]

Even if I could, I would not choose my child's sexuality. I would allow my son or daughter to develop however he or she is meant to. I'd be supportive of it either way.

 

[Eli26]

Oops.... I misread this. Of course, which parent wouldn't want their kids to be straight? Less teasing and crap to go through... but in the end it is the child's choice. I would love and accept them all the same. My uncle and cousin are gay and are terrific human beings.