Freakin creepy....... Yeah, I'd tell any friends and neighbors about this guy so they are aware.... Hope everything's ok with you. If I heard about this with my GF I'd be flying out to where she was 
I'm scared
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creecher
Such is Life - Ned Kelly
It seems to me like you've over reacted to the situation, by that I mean felt, and due to a state of heightened awareness, threatened, followed, harrassed and intimidated, and thereby were freaking out. The talk, in this thread, of rape, has overstimulated your, already run away, imagination. Worst case scenario.
By now you should be calmer. You've notified the police, and you will be onto anything unusual in the coming days. No need to leave notes or flyers about some guy you just met, and whom you do not know what his intentions were. You mentioned he was only staying one night. Drama over. You'll be mentioning it to people around you, who will pass it on.
If you're still in panic mode you could use it to fuel the need for martial arts instruction. That can never be a bad thing, but for now pepper spray, some keys and even just having a camera, or audio recording device, in your mobile, are tools to ease your mind. You are prepared so now you must be prepared to act and attack if necessary. That's all some kick boxing lessons are going to teach you, besides how to actual kick properly and where to kick. Then it's just repetition, so kicking comes more naturally in an aggressive situation. It's the same for punching. So lessons are a fast track to gaining some confidence, and it's always good exercise. If you really enjoy it you can go on learning forever, but 5 or 10 lessons should make good use of your impetus while you have it. For now, keep company around.
Once things calm down for you, you should be pleased that you are now a more confident independent person. You know what to look out for and how to handle it better. Who to contact and what steps to take. You'll also learn how your mind has behaved, under this assumed stress, and may better be prepared to direct your thoughts to more reality based possibilities, than just swinging into 'flight and flee' mode. It's understandable. You're young, alone, vulnerable and unsure. It's better to be safe than sorry, but going out on a vendetta, against this guy, can only lead to unnecessary trouble for everyone. The guy may be totally innocent, at the very least he's guilty of presenting your weaknesses to you.
By now you should be calmer. You've notified the police, and you will be onto anything unusual in the coming days. No need to leave notes or flyers about some guy you just met, and whom you do not know what his intentions were. You mentioned he was only staying one night. Drama over. You'll be mentioning it to people around you, who will pass it on.
If you're still in panic mode you could use it to fuel the need for martial arts instruction. That can never be a bad thing, but for now pepper spray, some keys and even just having a camera, or audio recording device, in your mobile, are tools to ease your mind. You are prepared so now you must be prepared to act and attack if necessary. That's all some kick boxing lessons are going to teach you, besides how to actual kick properly and where to kick. Then it's just repetition, so kicking comes more naturally in an aggressive situation. It's the same for punching. So lessons are a fast track to gaining some confidence, and it's always good exercise. If you really enjoy it you can go on learning forever, but 5 or 10 lessons should make good use of your impetus while you have it. For now, keep company around.
Once things calm down for you, you should be pleased that you are now a more confident independent person. You know what to look out for and how to handle it better. Who to contact and what steps to take. You'll also learn how your mind has behaved, under this assumed stress, and may better be prepared to direct your thoughts to more reality based possibilities, than just swinging into 'flight and flee' mode. It's understandable. You're young, alone, vulnerable and unsure. It's better to be safe than sorry, but going out on a vendetta, against this guy, can only lead to unnecessary trouble for everyone. The guy may be totally innocent, at the very least he's guilty of presenting your weaknesses to you.
D
DarthNeil
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GrayWolf87
Super Freak
Hey, sorry to hear about your situation. Only just came across this thread and scan read most of the posts so appologies if I say something someone else has already said and hope your O.K. and all works out fine.
As far as self defence goes... If you are going to take up a form of fighting purely for self defence, you are better at looking at a fighting system (and a credible one) that is designed for self defence and not sport.
With sport martial arts and fighting systems, the problem is that there are rules and after training and repetition it is very difficult to disregard these rules when you are in a fight or flight situation. Rules such as no strike below belt, no fish hooks etc.
Even with most popular martial arts such as Karate, if you're wanting self defence, it can take years to develop a decent level of skill, but if you are learning a version designed for sport, then it is very difficult to apply it to the real world.
One of the most obvious choices would be Krav Maga, but you would have to do your own research, speak to instructors to see what you want out of it and if thats what they can give you.
Most fighting systems designed for self defence or real world application have speed of learning in mind so you don't need to spend years of relentless training to be at a competent level.
Sorry for rambling on and if all this is of no help. But my advice is to go for a fighting style which will encourage you to drop the fker as fast as possible so you can get the fk out of dodge, not teach you how to go 10 rounds.
If you want hit me a message for any more advice regarding it.
Oh, and regardless of size, theres always 3 main points you can strike at on a bloke if you get in bother. Nose, throat and groin.
The amount of force though at the second one is at your discretion to the seriousness of the situation.
Once again sorry for rambling and if its of no help. Hope it all works out for you
Darth Cruel
Super Freak
Sky - I hope this issues is dying out for you. But you are lucky in one aspect. You are not getting caught off gaurd, now. There is a lot of good advice threaded through the stupidity. Stay proactive on the issue!
Skytteflickan88
Super Freak
Creecher, I disagree with you on some points.
He asked for my last name. He didn't even bother asking for my first name.
He said he was going to stay a while longer at the library, then go to his hostel. Instead he immediatly followed me to my building, and then a while after, my door bell rang.
Those things, and smaller things, tells me that it was indeed the worst case senario, not a overreaction. He might be innocent, but it seems very likely that he was after me.
And if he's indeed a rapist, I doubt anything he told me was true. Then he might be living in my town.
And I wouldn't call what I'm doing going on a vendetta. The only thing I'm doing is telling people to be prepared(everyone should be vigilante at all times) and joining a kickboxing class (starting this tuesday).
If you don't like this thread, stay out of it.
Can you honestly not see that you're very negative and unhelpful? Or do you just not care?
One minute you write a reasonable post, then write a negative one.
GrayWolf, you're absolutely right. Maybe it turns out kickboxing isn't the thing for me, but it sounds awesome, so I'll try that this semester.
Thanks everyone who commented (even the people who said negative things, because you made me feel anger, which is better than fear in a situation like this).
He asked for my last name. He didn't even bother asking for my first name.
He said he was going to stay a while longer at the library, then go to his hostel. Instead he immediatly followed me to my building, and then a while after, my door bell rang.
Those things, and smaller things, tells me that it was indeed the worst case senario, not a overreaction. He might be innocent, but it seems very likely that he was after me.
And if he's indeed a rapist, I doubt anything he told me was true. Then he might be living in my town.
And I wouldn't call what I'm doing going on a vendetta. The only thing I'm doing is telling people to be prepared(everyone should be vigilante at all times) and joining a kickboxing class (starting this tuesday).
If you don't like this thread, stay out of it.
Can you honestly not see that you're very negative and unhelpful? Or do you just not care?
One minute you write a reasonable post, then write a negative one.
GrayWolf, you're absolutely right. Maybe it turns out kickboxing isn't the thing for me, but it sounds awesome, so I'll try that this semester.
Thanks everyone who commented (even the people who said negative things, because you made me feel anger, which is better than fear in a situation like this).
Voorhees27
Super Freak
One more try .................
Skytteflickan88
Super Freak
If you close your eyes real hard Voorhees, the thread existence will end, for you.
Voorhees27
Super Freak
I tried like 10 times .......... it won't work.
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I told you the best advice, better then telling you to go take your Tai Bow or whatever you think is going to help you sleep better at night, and that was, have some frickin common sense, you did not even check the door to see who it was and you freak out and come on here of all places, think of the things you could have been doing like calling the COPS instead, after checking the door to confirm it was indeed him
. Go ahead and jump on the Valfar hatewagon with the rest of the community friends/care bears, the thread was a joke because you failed to act and let paranoia get the best of you, now you think you need to take self defense classes, thats not it!! you need some common sense.
P.S i have seen other threads full of river like this in the past where the person who started it got dumped on and spamed on big time.I assume because you are new and female, this thread did not really go that way.
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mr.thrifty
Super Freak
Yep....still crazy...
Master Wayne
Super Freak
Better run down to Walmart today and pick of a Tech Nine.
dont be afraid ... I just want to play UNO with you ... open the door ....
Skytteflickan88
Super Freak
Coulda, shoulda, woulda.
Valfar, we could argue until Judgement day about what I should and shouldn't have done, and if you should insult my intelligence or not, but when it comes down to it, I find this thread useful, in that it's comforting and educational, while you find it "sad" and are rude because of it.
Guess what part of the thread I found sad? The part where I learned, or the part where someone whined because I hadn't learned the lesson before being stalked?
I am so very sorry that I wasted your time by coming here to get comfort and advice. I assume you are perfect and independent and don't have any flaws and know how to act in any given situation, and that your way of giving "advice" is the best and most efficient way.
There's a time to be brutally honest and tell people they're stupid, but it's not when someone repeatedly says "Man, I was stupid".
Valfar, we could argue until Judgement day about what I should and shouldn't have done, and if you should insult my intelligence or not, but when it comes down to it, I find this thread useful, in that it's comforting and educational, while you find it "sad" and are rude because of it.
Guess what part of the thread I found sad? The part where I learned, or the part where someone whined because I hadn't learned the lesson before being stalked?
I am so very sorry that I wasted your time by coming here to get comfort and advice. I assume you are perfect and independent and don't have any flaws and know how to act in any given situation, and that your way of giving "advice" is the best and most efficient way.
There's a time to be brutally honest and tell people they're stupid, but it's not when someone repeatedly says "Man, I was stupid".
To throw in some female solidarity...
That assumes he was telling the truth and I am guessing honesty is not high on a genuine sexual assailant's list of moral qualms. Women over-informing one another of potential danger is fine in my book. I'd rather look paranoid or hysterical (the old stand by for women) any day if my actions could prevent a sexual assault.
Following someone home you just met is not "innocent" behaviour. It may be a sign of a social disfunctional state with no actual ill intent, but it not normal in any society/social context of which I am aware.
Probably every woman has been nice to a guy who seemed to interpret it as flirtation. In my own experience foreign students from Muslim countries seemed to have real issues with the difference between friendly professionalism and actual flirtation.
Women can't win. If we assume the worst and give guys the cold shoulder as a rule, then we are paranoid, unfriendly _____es [they edited out the 'potty' word not me]. If we act friendly by default then we are being weak, demonstrating poor common sense, etc. whenever we encounter that one guy in twenty who is either psycho or just has bad social perception.
a) I'm guessing this is hard for guys to get, because even though men can be subject to social harassment, a man being raped by a stranger is an extremely rare occurrence.
b) It takes a lot of nerve to slam on someone for using the Internet for social outreach, which you seem to have done on several posts.
Anyway, Skytteflickan88, I don't think you were being paranoid and no one one should judge you or anyone else for how they react in a threatening situation. The fact that you stayed safe is the most important thing and if a self-defence classes make you feel better then that is really all that matters.
That assumes he was telling the truth and I am guessing honesty is not high on a genuine sexual assailant's list of moral qualms. Women over-informing one another of potential danger is fine in my book. I'd rather look paranoid or hysterical (the old stand by for women) any day if my actions could prevent a sexual assault.
Following someone home you just met is not "innocent" behaviour. It may be a sign of a social disfunctional state with no actual ill intent, but it not normal in any society/social context of which I am aware.
Probably every woman has been nice to a guy who seemed to interpret it as flirtation. In my own experience foreign students from Muslim countries seemed to have real issues with the difference between friendly professionalism and actual flirtation.
Women can't win. If we assume the worst and give guys the cold shoulder as a rule, then we are paranoid, unfriendly _____es [they edited out the 'potty' word not me]. If we act friendly by default then we are being weak, demonstrating poor common sense, etc. whenever we encounter that one guy in twenty who is either psycho or just has bad social perception.
a) I'm guessing this is hard for guys to get, because even though men can be subject to social harassment, a man being raped by a stranger is an extremely rare occurrence.
b) It takes a lot of nerve to slam on someone for using the Internet for social outreach, which you seem to have done on several posts.
Anyway, Skytteflickan88, I don't think you were being paranoid and no one one should judge you or anyone else for how they react in a threatening situation. The fact that you stayed safe is the most important thing and if a self-defence classes make you feel better then that is really all that matters.
Voorhees27
Super Freak
Internet = serious business.
Skytteflickan88
Super Freak
You buffy chicks are nuts, i dated a few HC fans of the show.
But, alas i will not pester you anymore about this,though i don't think i did all that much.
1. I'm insane because I want to be treated with respect?
2. I wouldn't be surprised if there was anti-Valfar club, considering how easily you insult a entire fandom over a disagreement about manners.
3. What's wrong with being nuts? If you want to stay sane in this world, you're going to have to leave it before you've seen too much of it.
4. You didn't pester me "all that much", I just don't see why you had to be _____y at all, when you could have stuck with your constructive comments. But that's just the way I was raised.
I know this will sound dependant and all fuzzy, but that made me feel warm inside.
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1. I'm insane because I want to be treated with respect?
2. I wouldn't be surprised if there was anti-Valfar club, considering how easily you insult a entire fandom over a disagreement about manners.
3. What's wrong with being nuts? If you want to stay sane in this world, you're going to have to leave it before you've seen too much of it.
4. You didn't pester me "all that much", I just don't see why you had to be _____y at all, when you could have stuck with your constructive comments. But that's just the way I was raised.
I know this will sound dependant and all fuzzy, but that made me feel warm inside.
1.Again, you are crazy...2.i said the thread was sad..3.relax parney.
"I know this will sound dependant and all fuzzy, but that made me feel warm inside.
"
D
DarthNeil
Guest
1.Again, you are crazy...2.i said the thread was sad..3.relax parney.
"I know this will sound dependant and all fuzzy, but that made me feel warm inside.
Why do you keep coming back to a thread that you say you're finished with?...
I think you've made your opinion known. Maybe it's time to move on.
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