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Silly man. The Great Napkin has revealed the secrets of the universe to me. I have achieved Gold Napkin, Grand Master status - 10 million napkin points! There is no higher rank in Napkinism™!
I've long since paid my dues for such status in Napkinism. Why am I still using lowly, common white napkins?!
Because you followed the teachings of a false prophet!
Free your mind, free your soul and free the contents of your bank account into my PayPal account. But you better hurry, the initial payment rises to $299.99 in the new year! And before you object, just remember...I'm doing this for you, dev!
the napkin requires FRESH offerings....
it means a hot wad of jeez. coz its hard to find virgins for sacrifice these days.
the napkin's core belief revolves around cleaning yer pipes.
What? Listen to yourself. This is intolerable, this is outrageous. What a con-merchant!
My branch of Napkinism is the true path towards purging oneself of all impurity by way of tantric porn-browsing sessions. It requires no expense whatsover, bereft of such materialistic concerns of profit.
We don't need your gold napkins sir! I have detailed files and plain ol' white napkins that serve purpose just as well.
When I said free the contents of your pockets, I didn't mean those contents.
In other words, gimme money. Or your soul will burn for all eternity!
Good! Now cough it up! Gimme, gimme, gimme. Morgul Matt has already paid for my next Hot To -, I mean, saved his soul. Won't you do likewise? Don't make me bring out the big guns...
Your PM requires a more in depth response but I'm off out to a house party.
Congrats, man! Pics?
Come now, you two. You both know that Napkin-on-Hankie violence is the root cause of most of this worlds pain & suffering. Can't we all just get along regardless of whether we value the wiping of the mouth or the blowing of the nose, one above the other. Are not the basic principles of our teachings in essence the same?
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