Terra Nova on FOX

[Devil_666]

TERRIBLENOVA

Terra Nova is like Jurassic Park mixed with Stargate with a sprinkle of Time Machine and a touch of Avatar and Lost, burned beyond recognition by a chef eliminated on the first episode of Fox's Hell's Kitchen. Who also has down syndrome and shouldn't be around a stove.

Stephen Lang stars as Colonel Miles Quaritch.. er.. I mean Commander Nathaniel Taylor. Let's just call him Commander Quaritch Rip-off. Actually let's just not talk about him or any other "character" because they all equally suck. I haven't seen writing this bad since my son started scribbling down random letters on paper with a crayon when he was a year old. By comparison, my son's incoherent ramblings on loose leaf look like Shakespeare compared to this trite.

It's like Spielberg thought "How can I milk the Jurassic Park license even more?" and then while taking a poop and looking in the bowl before flushing he apparently got the idea for this show from what he saw. Obviously that's not true, but I guarantee I'm not that far off.

And while I think it's cool that the show hired some students from some community college to do all the CGI (Computer Generated Imagery) the end result looks more like a cut scene from some $5 bargain bin 3DO game than something from a big budget network. I've seen better and more believable graphics on a Cracker Jack hologram card than this.

Did you enjoy Edward Furlong and all his whiny vajayjay monologues while he almost single handedly ruined Terminator 2? Awesome! Then get ready for A LOT of whiny little brats in this show.

Overall, I'd give this show a Z-. I know an F- is supposed to be the lowest grade possible but this show is like AIDS + Cancer + a marathon of Gilmore Girls all rolled up into one apocalyptic blunt of "Terrible". I'd rather watch old paint dry, flake and infect my body with lead poisoning than watch another minute of this garbage. I feel physically ill after experiencing the epic suck that is Terra Nova. My soul has officially been broken up into numerous parts that Harry Potter is currently searching for to destroy because this show made those parts evil.

Still an hour to go.. it might get better though. I'll post my real review once I've actually watched the entire show.

 

[Darth_Fatso]

TERRIBLENOVA

Terra Nova is like Jurassic Park mixed with Stargate with a sprinkle of Time Machine and a touch of Avatar and Lost, burned beyond recognition by a chef eliminated on the first episode of Fox's Hell's Kitchen. Who also has down syndrome and shouldn't be around a stove.

Stephen Lang stars as Colonel Miles Quaritch.. er.. I mean Commander Nathaniel Taylor. Let's just call him Commander Quaritch Rip-off. Actually let's just not talk about him or any other "character" because they all equally suck. I haven't seen writing this bad since my son started scribbling down random letters on paper with a crayon when he was a year old. By comparison, my son's incoherent ramblings on loose leaf look like Shakespeare compared to this trite.

It's like Spielberg thought "How can I milk the Jurassic Park license even more?" and then while taking a poop and looking in the bowl before flushing he apparently got the idea for this show from what he saw. Obviously that's not true, but I guarantee I'm not that far off.

And while I think it's cool that the show hired some students from some community college to do all the CGI (Computer Generated Imagery) the end result looks more like a cut scene from some $5 bargain bin 3DO game than something from a big budget network. I've seen better and more believable graphics on a Cracker Jack hologram card than this.

Did you enjoy Edward Furlong and all his whiny vajayjay monologues while he almost single handedly ruined Terminator 2? Awesome! Then get ready for A LOT of whiny little brats in this show.

Overall, I'd give this show a Z-. I know an F- is supposed to be the lowest grade possible but this show is like AIDS + Cancer + a marathon of Gilmore Girls all rolled up into one apocalyptic blunt of "Terrible". I'd rather watch old paint dry, flake and infect my body with lead poisoning than watch another minute of this garbage. I feel physically ill after experiencing the epic suck that is Terra Nova. My soul has officially been broken up into numerous parts that Harry Potter is currently searching for to destroy because this show made those parts evil.

Still an hour to go.. it might get better though. I'll post my real review once I've actually watched the entire show.

While I won't be watching the premier tonight, damnit if this isn't one of the most epic posts ever

 

[Batty]

Too many words.

 

[KneelBeforrSmallville]

I LOVED Terra Nova!!!

I thought it was EPIC! It easily had the best visuals for a tv show and it felt like a movie! I was really impressed! Yes the genre is overdone, it has so many elemtns from other films or series but its so grand scale and the family stuff is really at the heart of it. Love Stephen Lang, hes plays what he plays best, a badass military leader, hes convincing, you root for him. The writing is pretty good, relatble topics, i was convinced.

Terra Nova is my new favorite show, The Pilot was very grand scale and i like that, those are things i like so thats just IMO

I def recommend you guys atleast check out the Pilot, it had amazing visuals!!!

 

[Devil_666]

Too many words.

TERRIBLENOVA (The King Darkness Version)

Rip-off. Suck. Poop.

 

[tomandshell]

I gave it about fifteen minutes and then turned it off.

 

[Devil_666]

"Good Things Come To Those Who Wait"

Whoever came up with that is either a liar or they didn't have the same powers as Nostradamus which would've allowed them to see the future, specifically September 26, 2011 and the premier of Terra Nova. Then that quote would've been more like:

"Good Things Come To Those Who Wait.. Unless They're Waiting To See That Abomination Terra Nova!"

This show is like an amalgam of a million other good shows/movies minus all the entertainment and non-suckiness that made them good to begin with. It's like the people who came up with this show just randomly threw a bunch of great stuff into a "creative" blender, mixed it on the highest setting and then poured the foul, putrid and repulsive concoction that resulted from that diabolical and unholy union into a giant glass before offering it up "Fear Factor" style to unsuspecting viewers ala Joe Rogan.

I drank it.

Unfortunately, while "Fear is obviously not a Factor for me" I didn't win 50 g's. Instead, all I got was a pair of permanently damaged retina's and the twisted memories of badly animated dinosaurs that make "Land of the Lost" from the 70's look groundbreaking and cutting edge in comparison.

And then there's the whole Nickelodeon BS with all the teenagers and how they're totally able to live like adults. Because it's totally a new world and stuff. They have their own cribs and stuff. It's like totally awesome and stuff.

STFU and start farming something you little Abercrombie & Fitch, 90210 rejects!

"Hey! We just went through a portal that time traveled us back into an alternate past and we're gonna be living with dinosaurs and stuff. But remember: Be cool, stay in school!" Ugh. What's with Steven Spielberg and this idiotic notion that no matter the circumstances, kids need schooling. First Fallen Skies and now Terra Nova.

"The world is filled with spider-like aliens and giant mechs trying to kill and enslave us/we're in an alternate past filled with dinosaurs trying to eat us: I REALLY hope all the kids know their ABC's or else we're screwed!"

Normally crap like this is tolerable because it's usually on Cinemax and has T&A/awkward sex scenes that you can tell are fake but you're already so turned on plus too lazy to stop and find porn on the internet so you just "finish" up because it's easier and requires less work. Well Terra Nova doesn't have that. So it's the equivalent of no internet + no Cinemax + your spouse (if applicable) has a headache and (if applicable) she has that "communist" visitor that comes once a month.

I don't believe I'm narcoleptic, at least I've never been diagnosed with it but after an hour of Terra Nova now I'm not so sure. It only lasted approximately two hours and disappeared at 10pm PST.

Medical mystery!?

I'm happy though. Because I swear an hour into this show I really started to think I was actually dead and in Hell being eternally punished for all of my sins. And I can't think of a more devious, torturous, inhuman and cruel punishment than having to watch Terra Nova.

Ball sack crushed in a vise grip and then covered with salt and lemon juice > Having to watch Terra Nova

 

[intothevoid]

Wow Devil - I don't think i've ever seen such elaborate posts from you - must have been truly terrible to warrant your wrath

 

[meth head]

Wow Devil - I don't think i've ever seen such elaborate posts from you - must have been truly terrible to warrant your wrath

Yep definately put me off

 

[toylion]

TERRIBLENOVA (The King Darkness Version)

Rip-off. Suck. Poop.

Why did you watch the whole thing?

 

[Sweet Rabbit]

Wow Devil - I don't think i've ever seen such elaborate posts from you - must have been truly terrible to warrant your wrath

I busted out laughing at the end of the 1st post

 

[intothevoid]

I'm willing to bet I found Devil's posts more entertaining than I would this show

 

[Sweet Rabbit]

I'm willing to bet I found Devil's posts more entertaining than I would this show

I completely missed the show last night

 

[Michael Crawford]

I think some people expect 200 million dollar movie budget CGI for a 2 hour television show - ain't gonna happen. The CGI in the first hour was decent, but there were only two dino scenes. I have to still watch the second hour.

The plot is fine, decent set up around the time travel, and I get that there's more here than the authorities are letting on. The inclusion of potential aliens is interesting too...but maybe it's just another group of humans that were here first through another/different portal or something along those lines. Whatever the case may be, it's obvious that they aren't alone, and it's more than just the dinos and other humans who were behind the attack on Taylor that are there.

Right now the big problem is the obvious stereotype cast. The family has all the usual components, and comparisons with Fallen Skies are not inaccurate. Broody annoying son, smart daughter with self esteem issues, heroic dad, medical mom - yea, we've seen this over and over. In fact, I was thinking it reminded me of a modern Lost In Space, with the only missing piece being Dr. Smith. But maybe he shows up in the second hour.

Both the CGI and acting are better than Fallen Skies, but the writing is just as bad or worse. I'll give it a couple more episodes to see if they can turn it around, but I'm not holding out a lot of hope. Still, my 10 year olds will enjoy it.

 

[TheObsoleteMan]

It was ok, nothing special. Having watched the Jurassic Park flicks and the UK show Primeval, I kinda feel like I've seen about all there is to see with the man vs dinosaurs theme.

 

[meanstreak]

I wanted that girl who ran of with the gun to die

The mom is pretty hot

 

[KneelBeforrSmallville]

I love it, hope it has a good run.

 

[grphyx1]

to each their own. I can't watch this again. If ya wanna see good angsty ridden kid watch the Parenthood. I mean really??? First day in a strange land filled with prehistoric beast and foreign fauna and you go outside the protective barriers??? oy Vey!!

I love it, hope it has a good run.

 

[hunnipot85]

Not sure if I'll be watching this next week, but I did like the dad/main character

The son and all of the young people are kinda annoying.

 

[The Josh]

Shows been pretty awesome so far. This just might be my new network TV show since Lost is long gone.