Well. I just got fired.

[Otomofan]

It's been a whirlwind 24 hours. Lots of panic and other emotions.

I'm heavily leaning towards trying to ship the stuff I reallllly love home, and then going to take care of my elderly parents. I've had terrible guilt about being on the other side of the planet.

I have no gf or wife or kids, so there's really no reason not to go back and be with family while I still can....

 

[Lorddrizzt]

You have been paying taxes there, is there no state help in unemployment? Till you find something else? Do not companies there pay some severance pay when you leave? I am sure there is enough local collectors who would buy something from your collection (items you can spare). For the rest of the items - you sure have some friends there who could hold the items in boxes till you get back to US and get enough money to have it sent to you. I am not pretending to know how things work in Japan, just trying to give some suggestions.

 

[Otomofan]

Yeah I pay taxes and stuff and I might be entitled to a bit of cash when I leave, but I won't get it for a while.

I do have friends here that I could hit up, but space is at an absolute premium in Japan so I'd feel awful to ask people to store giant boxes full of my crap for an undetermined amount of time...especially my friends with wives! But if it's that or lose some of my most precious pieces forever, I'll definitely hit up my friends!

 

[Lorddrizzt]

Yeah I pay taxes and stuff and I might be entitled to a bit of cash when I leave, but I won't get it for a while.

I do have friends here that I could hit up, but space is at an absolute premium in Japan so I'd feel awful to ask people to store giant boxes full of my crap for an undetermined amount of time...especially my friends with wives! But if it's that or lose some of my most precious pieces forever, I'll definitely hit up my friends!

Yeah, that or rent some storage space somewhere and give keys to friend, pay online for it till you get enough to have it sent to you to US. It does not have to be in some big city, somewhere cheaper. Or sell bulky items, have sent the more valuable ones.

Maybe have the box sent through some container ship rather than air freight - it would take months, but would be a lot cheaper. Maybe there are some companies who offer such services.

Use everything you are entitled to, you paid for that right.

 

[abake]

Sorry to hear about this Otomofan.
I've been basically jobless for the last couple of years, just working "independently", and it's pretty rough. Thankfully my family have been very supportive, which always helps.
But, apart from the financial anxieties and basically having to give up my home (and most of my collection), this whole debacle gave me the time to care for my mother and also help my ex-wife (we're very good friends) and kids during the worst of the pandemic. It hasn't been ideal, far from it, but the fact that I could devote my time to help my family by just being there for them was really a blessing.
I'm still struggling, but in a way I'm grateful, because I do believe I have a different perspective on life now. I always thought I was pretty mature (despite playing with dollies ) but these wake-up calls really put things in perspective. Don't worry about the insane amounts of money you spent on your collection, it gave you joy and probably helped you get by on crap days. And don't worry about having to sell a lot of it now, it'll just help you realise what in your collection really means something to you.
Go and spend time with your parents. Things will get better man.

 

[ebor]

Sorry to hear about your troubles Otomofan. Like others have said try to keep your emotions in check and think rationally about small steps towards a solution. Wishing you well.

 

[jye4ever]

It could be worse you could be Boba Fett.

 

[DeChino]

just saw this under new, sorry to hear about that man, i hope it turns into something positive like others have said

 

[Budo17]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation - but like others have said, could be a blessing in disguise, though I'm sure it doesn't feel that way at the moment. Do you think you can sell some of your collection to places like Mandarake? I know they carry a lot of used items as well, or Yellow Submarine. Unfortunatly my Japanese is not good enough to figure out if they buy from collectors as well. Either way, good luck over there!

 

[PersonOfTheYear]

Can’t you order a container and put all your possessions in and ship them out? My friend did that when he moved from China back to Australia. He had tons of figures

 

[Lejuan]

Just checking in to Freaks for the first time in a while and I find out your bad news.

I'm really sorry to hear this. Losing your job is hard enough, but you're in an especially tricky spot. When people say it could lead to new and better opportunities it might be hard to believe it... but speaking from experience, that's the only way to look at it. Can I suggest making a list of your transferable skills so you have a plan for a new direction, and allow yourself some time and failures in the short-medium term. And while you're figuring all this out, you get to see your parents and that's a big deal. I wish you the best and I hope you get more than your fair share of luck to speed you through these tough times.

 

[DeltaForceChung]

Any news/update to share? I hope this is not being too inquisitive.

 

[Otomofan]

I'm procrastinating, as usual. I still have a few more weeks to go and then I'm out on my ass.

I started making lists of things I need to do, so that's good at least.

But when I think of the enormity of attempting to send all my stuff back to the States, I almost immediately get a panic attack, so I'm still kind of in "denial" mode. Not good....gotta face reality soon.

 

[DeltaForceChung]

I'm procrastinating, as usual. I still have a few more weeks to go and then I'm out on my ass.

I started making lists of things I need to do, so that's good at least.

But when I think of the enormity of attempting to send all my stuff back to the States, I almost immediately get a panic attack, so I'm still kind of in "denial" mode. Not good....gotta face reality soon.

--

You're undergoing one of the phases/stages that is "procrastinating" and "denial".

Making a "to do" list is one thing, but actually making and taking the effort and time to do what's needed on the list another.

Based on personal experience, I say you need to start immediately BEFORE the end date/time arrives.

Focus and do right for yourself mentally and physically.

 

[Otomofan]

I'm.....not in a good place mentally here boys. Haven't been in a long, long time.

But it's getting bad. Really bad.

 

[generalszabo]

I'm.....not in a good place mentally here boys. Haven't been in a long, long time.

But it's getting bad. Really bad.

Sorry to hear that

What's going on with you at the moment? I mean since you last updated

A problem shared and all that

 

[Otomofan]

I'm just overwhelmed by the enormity of it.

I have to leave my home of ten years. I never wanted to live with anyone again....I liked living alone. But my parents are old and not in great shape and they need me. The truth is, without a wife or kids there's no real reason to stay on the other side of the planet.

But there's so much to do, and everything's gonna cost so much, and I don't know if I'll be able to afford to get all my stuff home, and all that.

But honestly the thing that's really getting to me today is that I really did fail. I wanted a Japanese girlfriend/wife to share my life with. To build a multi-cultural life where I could learn about her beliefs and I could teach her mine. And I blew it. My last gf left me almost seven years ago.

Now I'm 44, fat as hell, grey hair, all washed up and burned out....I'm just ready to roll into a ditch and die.

 

[generalszabo]

I'm just overwhelmed by the enormity of it.

I have to leave my home of ten years. I never wanted to live with anyone again....I liked living alone. But my parents are old and not in great shape and they need me. The truth is, without a wife or kids there's no real reason to stay on the other side of the planet.

But there's so much to do, and everything's gonna cost so much, and I don't know if I'll be able to afford to get all my stuff home, and all that.

But honestly the thing that's really getting to me today is that I really did fail. I wanted a Japanese girlfriend/wife to share my life with. To build a multi-cultural life where I could learn about her beliefs and I could teach her mine. And I blew it. My last gf left me almost seven years ago.

Now I'm 44, fat as hell, grey hair, all washed up and burned out....I'm just ready to roll into a ditch and die.

There's no failure in living your life, things rarely turn out the way you planned. And, you can meet Japanese girls wherever you are in the world

I can't help with the financial side but it seems you have to support your parents which isn't ideal but may be necessary at this point. Who knows how you'll feel this time next year? We can't predict how our lives will turn out, nobody has a crystal ball

 

[ZE_501]

I'm just overwhelmed by the enormity of it.

Break it into small steps or you will freeze. Almost anyone would. One day this will be in the rearview mirror. Which doesn't help much when you're wrestling with the bear, but it's nonetheless true.

I have to leave my home of ten years.

Based on what you've shared here over the years, it clearly wasn't making you happy which makes sense because it's just externals and dressing. Your mind is your life. Not where you live, not your girlfriend or your body or your things. I find most people get this backwards because the externals are important and easy to focus on, but then you see people who have everything and they're miserable because they didn't work on their mind.

You're not losing as much as you think to pick up and leave, and you're gaining a clean slate, opportunity to do right by your parents and see yourself from a different perspective.

But my parents are old and not in great shape and they need me. The truth is, without a wife or kids there's no real reason to stay on the other side of the planet.

That answers a lot of really important questions right there. Go do the right thing.

But honestly the thing that's really getting to me today is that I really did fail.

Even if you did, by whatever objective standard ... so what? Big deal. The worst has happened and you've suffered loss. Welcome to the human race. You can move on from that. I've failed many times and it helped me grow and build a better life. Even when it hurt like a m***********.

Now I'm 44, fat as hell, grey hair, all washed up and burned out....I'm just ready to roll into a ditch and die.

Start a new life, do things for your parents, find a therapist. If you don't like the therapist find a different therapist.

Don't try to hold on to what was. And speaking as a 48-year old, you have a lot of time to make things better. But I think I've said this to you many times. Get a therapist, you can't fix it all without a consultant. You need perspective and tools.

 

[generalszabo]

I know it's hard but selling some things may alleviate the financial stresses you're under