I don't agree with the OP, in the general sense that most to mostly all women have some kind of "dysfunction", I think one thing to key in on is that men and women communicate in very different manners and their default mechanism for communication is within their own gender, even to each other.
For example, my experience and observation is when a woman says, "Hey looks don't matter, it's what's in a guys heart that counts" or she says, "Hey money doesn't matter, I just want a really nice guy who treats me well", what she really means is -
X doesn't matter, at a certain point Y. But of course it does matter if it's less than Y or there is some major problem getting to Y.
When most women communicate with each other, they do so a lot of the time with tone inflection, body language, the way their eyes move, how they gesture, how fast they speak, what they don't say. Two women can be communicating A LOT in front of a bunch of men and most men won't pick it up, because most men do not communicate that way, most men are very direct and concise with each other.
IMHO, part of this is socialization, or lack of it, and part of it is biological imperative. Men are designed to provide and protect. Things need to be simple, men must be able to form quick hierarchies and must be able to consider the community good/team work. This is how men build things. This is how men defend their cities and towns and villages from attack. For men, where we are mostly socialized and judged by our wealth and careers, the act of omission is a big deal. The act of letting down your brothers when they needed you most is a big deal.
Most women, they are taught to focus on marriage, having kids and focus on the quality of their relationships. They are not taught to compete like men do, they must "compete" differently. They are taught direct action is not lady like and the individual good of their own "family unit" will trump the needs of the entire community. For women, the act of omission is not seen as the same kind of sin to men.
So for example, IMHO, when a woman says, X doesn't matter, it does matter, but to a point, but she's not going to articulate that to another woman because how women communicate, it's implied to each of them as already understood. However you can't talk to a man like you talk to a woman. To a man, when you say X doesn't matter, to him, it just plain doesn't matter. He's not built to deal with unspoken distinctions. He is punished at work, by society, by other men and even by women, for unspoken distinctions.
So a lot of times, many women feel they were being completely honest, and lots of times, men see women as
A) Crazy
B) Liars
C) Indecisive
D) *****king Crazy
E) Lack Accountability
F) Lack Reason
G) Selfish
H) Bat ***** Crazy
IMHO, both sides need to do a better job of reaching out and trying to make sure they are understood and are trying to understand what the other person is saying and going through. And esp if you have feelings for the other person, it is very very very hard to often read the cues and see the signs and make the distinctions that you might otherwise if you were on the outside as a third party.
You know, I will be the first to say, being a woman in America and in the Western world is probably not easy. It's probably pretty rough. Most women are judged so very harshly on age, their looks, their mate if they have one, their marital status or not, having kids or not, the success of those kids or not. Lots of men out there only objectify them and lots of other women just plain hate them because sadly a lot of women just despise each other out there.
But from the male perspective, what makes me a bit sad ( just a very small bit there) is that the reverse rarely happens. I rarely hear most women talk about how difficult it is for men in this society. By 9 years of age, you better stop crying in public, better stop showing emotion. You are judged harshly on wealth, career, Alpha status, you are expected to perform, shut up, earn and be a rock, all the time. And the general wringer that a lot of men have to go through to be on a date, get in a relationship and be in a marriage is often fraught with massive legal and emotional liability. We are expected to pursue, be aggressive, but not too aggressive, be charming, be funny, be impressive and prove our worth constantly for the rare chance we might get a ******* out of it. Mostly what I notice a lot of women ignore is the capacity for male grief. Men are human, we have weakness and moments of loss, like anyone else, we just don't process it like everyone else. And instead of letting us process it, a lot of women demand we talk about it, keep talking about it, and deal with it on their timetable and expectations.
I think part of the problem is both sides are lousy communicators, but to make matters worse, modern feminism and most women have convinced each other that they are great communicators themselves, simply because they talk a lot. And because no one will oppose the opinion. Most women IMHO are frankly lousy communicators. ( So are many men) Too often I hear about men who "just don't get it" but rarely do I hear most women talking about strategies to make what they want and say to men much easier for men to actually understand.
Is the point getting what you want? Or is the point trying to get what you want simply on your specific terms? The desire for the latter seems to just make so many women out there IMHO suffer so needlessly.
I think most of us want the same things in this short life. To be accepted. To be heard ( most people don't listen) To feel valued. To feel we have a role. To feel appreciated. To feel affection is not controlled by conditions. To stop having to, on those less pleasant times in our lives, feel alone. If anyone is lucky enough to find these things from another person, esp if they aren't family, then I think it's something to be cherished. Doesn't mean you need to be with them or reciprocate, but I think it does mean you've encountered something rare and worth some regard.
The things that attract us to start and the things we probably really need to be in an emotionally healthy and sane partnership are usually vastly different things. Seeing the difference would make it IMHO a lot easier to make that distinction. More men need to work on understanding certain social cues that women use and frankly a lot of women need to to talk less and be more compassionate.
