The first one was pretty good, but the second one will NEVER get used.
Take me instead is ridiculous and a bit creepy. If he had said something like, take me, too!, it wouldn't have been as bad.
Being taken by the alien INSTEAD of the alien taking just the Doritos would mean he is on a spaceship with no chance of more Doritos. By contrast, if the alien takes his Doritos, he can just go downstairs for another bag.
It doesn't make any sense.
You need to do a lot better than the second if you expect to win.
As for the first, it has potential.
The first is a concept that might help sell the product.
It still could use a bit of polish though.
Your buddy's is a nice concept, but the Doritos all over his face is really gross and is going to turn people off. It looks like he may have spit a piece back into the bag, which is worse still.
No one ever gets munched up chips all over their face in a commercial. It simply isn't done. Just the cheese powder would be great.
Another problem is how far away from her he was sitting on the couch. It suggests he doesn't know her well. If she was his girlfriend, they would have been sitting closer.
He didn't need to knock the stuff off , and most people would be upset about the stuff being knocked off. He reaction is not very believable. It seems like a nicely kept house. People who keep their houses nice, with light colored couches and carpet, I might add, work to keep them that way.
His response to her when he says ok sounds like he is saying, yeah, I have your Doritos, so what? He sounds cocky.
He should sound innocent and nervous instead.
There is a lot wrong with it.
I am just giving constructive criticism. I'm not bashing. If you want to win a million dollars, you need to plan a commercial better.
The point of a commercial is to get people to want to buy a product, and not just to be somewhat entertaining.
