Re: ZaCHw117's Bats Collection/Learning Photography/Come B.S with us thread!
OKAY! Just had a major spider fiasco in my bedroom... it's 2:44 AM here and I am not pleased
I was just relaxing in bed eating some chips and playing Vice City when this MASSIVE spider runs out on the wall... like the size of a twoonie coin (Canadian $2 coin and it's BIG). Put your index finger and thumb together and then make it a little smaller...like this guy was BIG, one of the biggest I've seen in my house before.
Usually we get the tiny little white house spiders in the spring time but who knows where this guy spawned from. Anyways, I have a bunch of paintings and framed things in my room. So out of the corner of my eye, this huge black spider comes running out behind my framed diplomas, passed a painting (near where my PFs are displayed) and then onto my 24 poster (which is black). So it's nearly impossible to see this guy, and meanwhile, I'm half naked with a slipper, a handful of tissues, a flashlight in my mouth, and a baseball bat ready to go to war against this nasty ass thing. By the way, this thing moved REALLY REALLY REALLY fast.
So I put down the tissue and bat and arm my slipper to smack him. So I get a couple practice smacks in by just slapping my slipper through the air but then the slipper accidentally touches the 24 poster and the spider falls in the blink of an eye down on the ground or in the area. Let it also be known that right below my 24 poster is a cool Che Guevara flag/bandana thingy that I got in Cuba when I was a kid. So considering his speed, I didn't know if he was on the floor, in a house plant which was in the area, or in the flag. My windows were also right there and I have the drapes drawn so I had no idea where this nasty bugger was. Also, I was having a ____fit that he would run on my PFs and then I'd smash them with my bat out of pure reaction LOL! So I have every light on in my room and I start pulling out some clothes on the floor and my floor rug so he doesn't blend in, and then I start stripping my bed and moving the pillows and nightstand away from the wall. The last thing I want is to crawl back into bed and then have him bite or attack me, I really don't know what breed this thing was (I'm googling now).
Ugh, I also have a life-sized cardboard Stanley Cup that I got from my local beer store in the area too so I started taking the bat and hitting everything...I was whacking the plant, the Stanley Cup, my Che flag, the poster.... I was running around frantically trying to get this guy so I can sleep in my bed tonight....I was fully prepared to go sleep on the couch or stay up all night until he is dead haha.
WELL, I start thinking to myself that I never did really see him hit the floor (and I have hardwood flooring, so I'd see the little prick running on the ground). So I start rolling the bat on the poster and then on the Che flag again....and then he pops out of the Che flag and starts running around crazily. Meanwhile, I'm running around crazily trying to find my slipper so I don't put a hole through the wall with my bat and then he stops on the outside of the flag and just sits there. So I think of you guys so I go to grab my iPhone from the night table to snap a pic and then a split-second later, he disappeared. Meanwhile, I'm slapping myself for not killing him when I had the chance. So then I just start whacking the hell out of the flag with the slippers and then I see blood start appearing in the fabric of the flag. I ripped it down and this guy is just leaking blood and is in pieces. Then I grabbed him in tissues, ran to the toilet and flushed him so fast LOL. I feel like I just killed a man, this thing was bloody HUGE. My heart is still racing, but at least I can sleep peacefully tonight.... I hope.
I really need a cat who will get these nasty things for me
