I never have those problems.
I get my 5-day pass on press night so it is always quick and easy.
I print out a map, so I don't have to ask security where I am supposed to be. They are SECURITY after all, not the information kiosk.
I don't attend the panels. I let the internet reporters do that and then get the info from the websites.
I AM one of those fat people and the skinny people are easy to wade through or crush.
And I never have any problem finding the comics. In fact, I usually turn down half of the free ones that I am offered.
#1 should have been taking your kids with you (like the article, I am joking, I love taking my kids and I love that they enjoy it)