You know... the more I re-read this all over... the bigger my smile gets. Take away the stuff about what matters and what doesn't for a minute and focus on what I said about my hopeful future. Of how I want to try to help people, make a difference, of what I expect of myself and where I want to go. Just because your plans crumbled before your eyes and the dreams you had are gone... doesn't give you a right to attempt to extinguish the passion of another in what they hope to reach and attain. After the long line of people who said life doesn't work that way.... I am going to make it work the way I want it to work and achieve what I want to achieve. I won't let the silly little words spoken by the few potentially miss-guided people here to change my perceptions of what I think deep down. Deep down, when I am 40 and look at myself in the mirror and see someone just as ordinary, just as regular, as everyone else doing a job where millions and millions do.... knowing that I will die and the only thing passed on will be cash and memories to the my next generation with my name mentioned in the paper at birth and death... I won't be happy... I want something more. Maybe it is the only child syndrome that was instilled into me of "your special" or maybe it is the drive in me to be more than I know I can be and to prove every single person in my life who gave up on me and wrote me off as being wrong. Call me weird, call me sad, call me troubled, call me a lunatic.... call me whatever you want.... laugh while your reading this or tip your cap saying a sarcastic "good luck," call me a fame seeking, power luster, psychopath. Some of you wanted me to be "real," so here it was. If you can't even appreciate someone chasing something they want.... to be something more.... to help..... welp..... the day dreamers stop dreaming is when the world dies.
Thanks for the motivation, because deep down,
I know I will make it.
Goodbye Sideshow Freaks, maybe one day I will be back.