Mike, do you like/love TDKR at all?
Alot of those criticisms you have for Returns could easily be used for Rises too ironically.
Rises is Nolan at full control AND cranked up with his own unique "style" (instead of Burton's love of black and white and sympathetic monsters, we get guys in suits, Howard Hughes biopics and all that other stuff Nolan is known for EXCEPT the Batman aspect?
Devito Penguin a sewer freak that isn't adapted properly? How about Bane? He's a sewer freak too and NOTHING like his comic counterpart in looks, ideals or motivation. The only thing similar is having him break Batman's back and being from a prison. Penguin had that superficial quality too with his monocle, "birth rite" and his fake "sophistication" to win the hearts of Gotham. If Penguin is one of the worst adapted characters of all time, then Bane must certainly be up there for you.
I don't remember Bane spewing mumbling nonsense in any of his stories, except maybe Batman and Robin.
Ridiculous plot? How about all that crazy crap with the magical leg brace, the stock market, the "clean slate" device that doesn't exist . . . but does, or ALL of the police getting trapped for 5 months, or the nuclear bomb Macguffin itself! TDKR is crazy over the top.
Catwoman? The Returns Catwoman has way more depth than anything we see in Rises, which is a pity. They didn't even scratch the surface with their Selina. Atleast the Returns Catwoman was a fully developed character that wasn't used as a cardboard plot device to move the story and have the Batman character retire. She was her own character with her own dilemmas and psychology.
Batman is barely in Batman Returns? HA, Batman is shown more in Returns than he is in Rises. Waaay more. Batman isn't on screen for almost an hour in TDKR. Then after his first appearance he's shown twice, maybe three times. Atleast Returns juggles it's characters (only comic book film that juggles it's multiple villains with pretty much equal development and screen time) properly. Rises focuses too much on worthless secondary characters that take up screen time. You want to make a dig at Penguin, Catwoman and Shreck? How about Blake, Bane, Talia, Foley, Dagget etc.?
Bruce sitting in his manor, brooding, deep in thought then coming alive and becoming Batman as soon as he sees the signal is dumb but Bruce sitting in his manor, doing nothing for 8 years but growing a hermit beard and taking up . . . archery isn't?