How to deal with the loss of a child

[gibby]

I'm sorry for you and your family, Ben.

We lost our daughter 6 months ago. There is nothing I can say to you that will lessen the heart ache, or ease the suffocating feeling you have inside. There is no magic wand or potion that will heal the wounds any quicker or bring back her health.

However, you should always feel like you can walk away when you need to grieve, shed a tear when you're feeling sad, and reach out to your friends when you need a hug or someone to talk to.

Lastly, be strong in honoring her. Honor her by being there for your brother and his wife when they need a friend, honor her by giving them the space they need to grieve, and honor her by living every last breath of your life to its fullest.

 

[Buttmunch]

Real sorry to hear about this Ben. I can't think of many things worse that can happen to anyone than this.

The only real way to deal with something like this, I would think, is to spend time with your family. Come together and support each other. I don't know if you/your family are religulous at all, but whenever my family loses a loved one, we are comforted by our faith and beliefs. Knowing this isn't the end can be quite comforting. So that may be something you can look into or turn to in this tragic event and hopefully turn it into something good for you/your family.

 

[Rackemup]

My condolences to you and your family

 

[Biojex]

It saddens me greatly to hear your going through this.

Try to spend time with your family. For every loss my family has had, the comfort and caring we gave each other was a tremendous help through the pain.

My condolences, Ben.

 

[Voorhees27]

Ben I am SO sorry to hear this heartbreaking news. I truly am.

To be honest there are literally no words that can ease the pain or make this saddening experience any bit less. I just wish you and your entire family all of my condolences.

Take care buddy and if you ever need to talk, please shoot me a PM.

God bless.

 

[Darth_Fatso]

Very heartbreaking news Ben I can't imagine the pain you and your family are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family my friend.

 

[xjamiex]

I'm deeply saddened and sorry to hear about this Ben, I wish you nothing but the best to you and your family. Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this heartbreaking moment.

Jamie

 

[Project_A]

Oh no... so sorry to hear that Ben. My condolences.

Stay strong.

 

[cr0w]

Very sorry to hear about what's going on with your family. It's rough.

The thing about grief is that everyone's different. Some people take solace in their family and friends, some in religion, some in solitude, and in many other ways. No one can tell you how to deal with it...that's something that you personally have to figure out. It's a very, very personal thing.

If I were in that situation, I'm not sure what I would do. I'm a very analytical person, but I've got pretty deep spiritual views. I've been able to accept that people and things die..it's part of our life. It's something we will all inevitably face. It's hard as hell to deal with, but every single person on the Earth will have to deal with the same thing eventually. I don't know what's beyond the material life we're living now, nor do I know IF there's anything beyond it. I don't know if there's a plan for any of us, or if something's pulling our strings. I choose to believe that any and all experiences we have, no matter how wonderful or how tough they are, are thrown our way to help us grow and improve as we move on with our lives to eventually fulfill whatever plan we have in store for us. If you have a family member or a child that dies due to some illness, use what you learned to help another family facing the same thing. Raise awareness about the issue. Learn from whatever happens to you, no matter how tough, and try to help others with what you've learned.

In the end, nothing any of us can say will really help you. This is something you'll have to deal with on your own or with your family. The best thing you can do is be there for your brother and wife, and make sure that you all know that, no matter how brief it is, the time you spend with the people you love is the most important thing in the world. Nothing else matters. Not material possessions, money, nothing. The only thing in this world we can't replace is time, so use what you have wisely.

 

[nemenforcer]

I will pray for you and your family. And, even though hot toys are just a hobby, if anything, something like this is a reminder that every day is precious and we should live our life to the fullest.

 

[JAWS]

As the father of two children I really can not imagine how I would deal. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

 

[thenammagazine]

I'm sorry for you and your family, Ben.

We lost our daughter 6 months ago. There is nothing I can say to you that will lessen the heart ache, or ease the suffocating feeling you have inside. There is no magic wand or potion that will heal the wounds any quicker or bring back her health.

However, you should always feel like you can walk away when you need to grieve, shed a tear when you're feeling sad, and reach out to your friends when you need a hug or someone to talk to.

Lastly, be strong in honoring her. Honor her by being there for your brother and his wife when they need a friend, honor her by giving them the space they need to grieve, and honor her by living every last breath of your life to its fullest.

This is extremely sound advice. I've lost loved ones and people grieve in so many different ways that it's almost impossible to offer anything remotely worthy. That said the only things I could suggest would be not to internalize it and just take it one day at a time.

 

[devilof76]

I wish I had something good to say Ben. So sorry you have to go through this.

I have a friend whose nephew had something similar, except the growths were on his brain stem. He's older and they realized there was a problem when he started having excruciating headaches, and then went blind. He's had several operations and there's nothing they can do. Everything they cut away comes back. The doctor told his father that if any other doctor claimed to be able to fix it, he would be lying. The kid is in constant and progressive pain.

I will not say that your niece will be in a better place. That's a slap in the face to everyone who loves her. I will say that there's comfort to be had in knowing that her life will not be one of pure agony, from her first memories onward. I know that's not much consolation. There isn't much to be had.

The best thing that I know you can do is to give that baby as much love as you possibly can. Deal with the pain afterwards. If this is to be her life, then make it one that you know you did your best to bring all the joy you could to it. In the end, it will matter more than anything else.

 

[Darth Snoopy]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Ben.

 

[HAPPYBOY]

Oh Boba, I am so truly sorry that you and your family are dealing with such a sad situation. I can not imagine the whirlwind that must be spinning through your minds and thoughts with this. I simply offer you and your family my sincere regret for having this laid upon you, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and wish you some peace in this time of sadness.

 

[Darth Cruel]

Like it is with so many others, here. You and your family will be in my thoughtsd as well. I am truly sorry beyond words.

 

[Shropt]

So sorry to hear this.

 

[steven.giunta]

That's an incredably hard thing to deal with ,I'm sory

 

[work13]

I'm sorry for you and your family, Ben.

We lost our daughter 6 months ago. There is nothing I can say to you that will lessen the heart ache, or ease the suffocating feeling you have inside. There is no magic wand or potion that will heal the wounds any quicker or bring back her health.

However, you should always feel like you can walk away when you need to grieve, shed a tear when you're feeling sad, and reach out to your friends when you need a hug or someone to talk to.

Lastly, be strong in honoring her. Honor her by being there for your brother and his wife when they need a friend, honor her by giving them the space they need to grieve, and honor her by living every last breath of your life to its fullest.

Couldn't have said it any better. Our hearts and prayers go out to you and your family.

 

[BuffyGirl]

I am very sorry to hear this. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. There's really nothing that any of us can say or do that will make things better, make you feel better, or help you through it. Not a single thing can remove the pain unless she were to get better.

I think the only thing you can do is look at her first and foremost. Think about what a life she would have if she would have to keep having surgery, and have such a poor quality of life. Her being with God (sorry, just my belief) is going to be better for her. And she is what truly matters.

I send you prayers and hugs from across the way, and hope that your family can stay strong throughout. Don't be afraid to come in here and post your feelings. We're here to listen.