Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (June 30th, 2023)

[Felinx]

You just can't do this today.

Full-****** is about all we ever see these days.

 

[Khev]

Khev getting jedibear all hyped for DoD...

Yep, PSYCHE!!! It really was the worst movie ever. I just wanted others to go and share my pain. SUCKERS.

 

[Wor-Gar]

Poor Indy... now a divisive film character.

 

[Felinx]

If Ron Howard had become a replacement director on DoD like on Solo, we might have gotten Clint Howard as Voller. (yes, he's already played a Nazi trying to fix the outcome of WWII after the fact... Uwe Boll's "Bloo Drayne 3")

 

[Wor-Gar]

Clint would have replaced that 'Zola' guy.

 

[The Buffinator]

jedibear is a super mod now... Khev's opinion could be construed for an infraction.

Khev is a domestic (box office) terrorist and DoD is his dirty bomb. And my review was made under duress lol.

 

[jedibear]

jedibear is a super mod now... Khev's opinion could be construed for an infraction.

Naw- no infraction. Just strapped in a chair "Clockwork Orange" style watching all of Fleabag's scenes on an endless loop until his eyes bleed should do the trick.

 

[xipotec]

Oh ha ha, yeah no. I meant actually ending the series with a good movie instead of dragging it through the mud until it stops making money.

Blade Runner 2049, Fury Road, DOD, all respectable box office failures that let each series end with dignity.

Fury Road was not a box office failure.

 

[xipotec]

Yeah you'd think if they were truly free thinkers they'd disagree with eachother from time to time but without fail they always have the same opinions and views in their respective videos and in their get-togethers. Their idea of free thinking is seemingly just to be anti-woke. You notice it's the same outside of movie-dom and pop culture topics. 'Free thinkers' who always seem to have entirely predictable views on any given subject, like there's a prescribed set of views you must adhere to. And without irony they accuse others of being sheep. It's hilarious.

Much like several people here....parroting predictable opinons

 

[Otomofan]

I hated Fleabag before it was cool. All those grouchy youtubers are just parroting me.

 

[Mandible]

Much like several people here....parroting predictable opinons

You better jump on all the female journalists and reviewers that didn't like it and label them too!!! Clearly you wouldn't do that though, they're woman and entitled to their opinion, but men are just "labels."

Lets see if everyone dislikes Mission Impossible's female characters because early reviewers are saying Haley Atwell's character is everything PWB is trying to be, and does it a million times better.

 

[Otomofan]

I don't know what you mean, there is no indication of that.

Actual was the one to get the DS plans, and gave the only Hope to the Rebellion.
\

Actual was the one to bring about the Return of the Jedi, where Luke was a complete neutered POS coward failure.
\

Actually figured everything out, saved and gave the otherwise useless and resigned Indian Jones a reason to live.
\

There is no pattern or message being telegraphed here at all.
\

 

[Felinx]

Poor Indy... now a divisive film character.

You mean the white man who is paid to go around the world stealing indigenous people's sacred artifacts saying they "belong" in a Western artifact lock-up ("museum") where they can be held in perpetuity for sorting into a primitivist scale of human endeavor seen solely from a Western perspective? That Indy?

Here is this divisive man, being pursued by the Hovitos/Chachapoyan tribe, after stealing their most sacred relic, the Fertility Idol, from the Chachapoyan Temple (the Hovitos were originally the sole villains of that opening until they were made subservient to newly included Belloq, who whistles to "sic" them onto Indy.)

 

[Raiders March]

Wow, didn't know that - I assumed it was digitally done. That's eerie but cool he sounds so much like him.

But yeah that Val doc had me in tears. I'd also recommend the Garry Shandling doc.

They used his sons voice in the willow series too, I remember reading somewhere, so it must be close

 

[Raiders March]

At the 7pm show in our area's largest theater. Show starts in 15 minutes. Not even a quarter full.
First time in a theater in a few years. Weird feeling of dread instead of excitement.

I was anxious too, hope that changes for you and that you enjoy the movie once it gets going

 

[Bleah]

I was anxious too, hope that changes for you and that you enjoy the movie once it gets going

He already said he hated it.

 

[Brett Banner]

I’m kinda surprised more people aren’t talking about how lazy the writers were being when they chose to present us with an old Indy who

Spoiler

is in the exact same situation we find TFA Han Solo—an old curmudgeon whose grief over a lost son has broken up his marriage, who then takes a young daughter-like character under his wing. They both even make up with their wives by the end of the film.

 

[jedibear]

Move over, batfan! This is gonna be a long one...



The theater was less than a quarter full (it seats 400). Most of the audience were folks in my age bracket (50+ or older) with a few younger (30 or 40-ish). No teens or twenty-somethings. There were a few chuckles here and there but at the end when the lights come up, utter silence and people shuffling out like they were leaving a funeral.

A far cry from the days when folks would stay through the credits, chatting enthusiastically about what they'd just seen.

Sitting here typing this, I'm still shell-shocked. I read some spoilers (almost impossible NOT to in this you-tube/insta-whatsit world we live in) and read through the threads here. Sifting through the opinions both good and bad certainly helped me temper my expectations. But I still left the theater feeling like I'd been punched in the gut.

A little personal context...years ago when I lived out in California I had the truly cool experience of wandering the hallways of ILM back when it was still in San Rafael. It was just after ESB came out and we stopped by after one of our midnight viewings of ESB at the Northgate in SFO. One of the girls in our group had a boyfriend who worked night security and let us have an unofficial walk though. It was one of the most dazzling, memorable experiences as a movie fan I have ever had in my life.

Not only did we get to see props, matte paintings and a room full of model kits for all that fantastic kit-bashing that was done for all the ships and such for ESB, we got a sneak peek of something really special that still makes me giddy to this day remembering it.

The hallway walls were lined with all of the storyboard drawings for the current project they were working on...a cool adventure serial called "Raiders of the Lost Ark". From the opening scenes all the way to the very end on the island with the opening of the ark, scenes were sketched out in crude detail but one could still sense the motion and pulpy wonder that they were looking to capture.

And the next year we all sat at The Regency in SFO and were swept away and blown out of our seats by what would end up being one of the greatest genre adventure movies of all time....

It's those great memories imbued with the spirit of friends and that special experience that has always made Indiana Jones more than a little special to me.
That original trilogy of films are just insane vessels of creative energy on every level...the casting, the stories, the effects, the stunts, the direction and yes, that star-making turn by Harrison Ford that made him a movie icon for the ages. They are films that demand to be seen again and again, revealing in new twists and details that emerge in those repeated viewings. The craft on display, the emotion that is evoked and, like the best movies, ones that create a sense of community with the fans who love them.

I'm sure that everyone in here has their own similar connection and feeling with some movie or series that after a period of time makes it feel personal.
It's part of being a fan...having and sharing the passion for something you've watched and experienced for years. It's why we visit boards like this and trade views and quips over them. It's why we collect insanely expensive toys and figures from them.

And now here we are all of these years later with this new Indiana Jones movie. The "final" one supposedly. And with that thought, it's not unreasonable to expect everyone involved would want to create something that continues that established tradition of craft and artistry, especially if the creative core are folks that weren't involved with the originals and hopefully understand the importance of curating and maintaining that legacy.

But it's not what we have here. Not by a f'ing longshot.

Not since I (barely) sat through a screening of the so-called "final" Skywalker saga movie "Rise of Skywalker" have I watched something that had me wincing so much in my seat that I was almost getting cramps and feeling ill. This movie is so poorly made, so cynical and badly edited and written it's just stunning that a major studio like Disney would spend what they've spent and end up with such a bad, almost unwatchable result. No fun, pulpy feel, just a dark, ugly cynical movie speckled with casual, nasty violence and endless scenes of nonsense.

Starting with the "good" (it won't take long), the movie manages to emerge from it's cynical fog when Ford gets to interact with John Ryes Davies and Karen Allen. The chemistry and emotion is still there and then - "poof" - it's gone and back to the nonsensical, muddy mess. Harrison gives it his best...it's like Mark Hamill in TLJ, the script is insanely bad, but being professionals and having committed to the project, they give it their all but still can't save it.

Maybe there was probably an interesting idea and a decent script at the beginning before the producers and studio and who knows who else came in and sanded all the edges off and blew the sense out of it with the meddling and patchwork editing.

And that's it. That's all the good I could get out of this. That big opening prologue is good on paper, but it plays out with creepy, uneven CGI work, murky filming and choppy odd editing choices. Not to mention the main villain enduring something that should of frankly killed him but as we learn later, didn't even leave a scar.

I won't go into every bad thing about the movie here...many other have already hit many of the "low" marks. But I have to mention a couple.

First and foremost, Fleabag! As I watched, I just kept wondering who else in the entire process of this movie being made did not watch these scenes with her and not see what a horrible, shallow, shrill, unappealing, unsympathetic, unattractive screeching Mary-Sue who had ZERO charisma with Ford and not say "Um, this isn't working?" It's the biggest shock of all here. If there had been another actress in this role and the intense, know-it-all, overbearing qualities toned down a bit, it might have worked. That there is ANYONE involved with Disney/Lucasfilm who saw these scenes and thought "Now THERE'S what's gonna carry this franchise forward!" is sad to consider.

I don't like dumping on kids, but "Teddy" was as insufferable as Fleabag in this. He looked, sounded and acted like he just wandered in from a modern mall or something - didn't act or feel "period" at all. It was easy to see that they were going for Short Round v2 here, but it missed the mark by a long shot.

But more than anything, it was the incredibly bad script, poor direction, obvious inserted reshoot material (so many "volume" shots), bad looking action, Die Hard level violence, and just the general cheapness of the whole affair that was just shocking.

I know there are a number of folks in here that are enjoying this movie and more power to you. I'll read your takes and enjoy the back-n-forth (about the MOVIE now, no personal jabs) but I can't join in your enthusiasm for this one. Yeah, it's just a movie, but it just felt personal. We'll see how the BO bears out. Maybe there are enough folks out there to keep going to these movies they make no matter what they do. I almost hope not. Nah, no almost.

Thanks for making it through my rant, folks.

Rest in peace, Indiana Jones.

 

[Otomofan]

Couldn't have possibly said it better.

/thread

 

[Brett Banner]

I didn’t hate the film as much as I hated Rise of Skywalker (my rating for DoD is a solid “meh”) but jedibear pretty much hits on all my complaints, especially the “no fun, pulpy feel.”