Wife and I are having a discussion. Do you find it acceptable that your significant other is friends with exes on social media?
Keeping in touch with exes
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Lejuan
Super Freak
I don't have a problem with it personally. The relationship may have ended but the friendship doesn't have to go with it.
Sikatar
Super Freak
Agree. I am still very good friends with a couple of my ex's. My wife is too.
If your mate knew it bothered you would it make a difference?
I never had a girlfriend that I could be genuine friends with after the breakup, but that could be some issue on my part. Having said that, I think being a "Facebook friend" is fine, and doesn't mean much of anything. I've got a few that I'm "friends" with.
Sounds like there could be some trust issues if that is the case, which would go beyond the simple example of trying to be friends on social media.
I will say yes and leave it at that
EXOTICLEX
Super Freak
As long as you aren't trying to hook back up with them what is the problem?
Invictus Sol
No Life in the Void
Agreed. An ex of mine (we dated 20+ years ago and have been friends since about a year or so after we broke up) was just visiting from Hong Kong this week, and came over for dinner with my wife and I, last night. My wife's totally cool with it but I have had some ex-gf's that were violently opposed to that friendship. None of those relationships lasted, obviously.
Jameson Rook
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I do, mostly because we happen to bump into each other but there's a mindset behind it and you shouldn't think too much about your past with her. I just think of us as passing ships.
But whatever happens, never be nostalgic about it nor accept her back if she tries to patch things up which seems to happen a lot in my case. Fool me twice, shame on me.
If you're avoiding your ex because of anger or grief, give some time and re-evaluate yourself. Let no man (nor woman) get in the way of who you are and stand tall for yourself, that includes if your ex is a police officer writing a parking ticket for you. Ughh.
But whatever happens, never be nostalgic about it nor accept her back if she tries to patch things up which seems to happen a lot in my case. Fool me twice, shame on me.
If you're avoiding your ex because of anger or grief, give some time and re-evaluate yourself. Let no man (nor woman) get in the way of who you are and stand tall for yourself, that includes if your ex is a police officer writing a parking ticket for you. Ughh.
SnakeDoctor
Super Freak
Nah. Wouldn't bother me -- its just Facebook. But, why bother? They're an ex for a reason.
SnakeDoc
SnakeDoc
RJMacReady16
Super Freak
"Social media" is the real problem here. Not the fact that you're friends with an ex.
This is how I see it. If you are going to be friends with an ex just be completely honest with yourself and ask yourself, "if the opportunity to have something with them rose up, would you take it?"
if you don't have any doubts then I don't see the problem, the problem is that most people are not really honest with themselves in this case, if you genuinely see them only as a friend then it would be okay.
It also depends how long ago you dated them, if they were your last gf and it has only been a couple of years ago or something I could see that being a problem for your current gf or wife
Devil_666
Super Freak
HELL. NO.
Especially if your "significant other" is through marriage. Dating (for however long) is a different story. But married and your wife/husband still wanting to have contact with an ex!? And the other partner being cool with it? **** all that.
Well I don't hate my ex, we ended on reasonably good terms, we'd been together for 6 and a half years. T'would seem a shame not to at least have a friend to show for all that time.
Far as I've heard though it's a problem for my ex's new boyfriend. Any minimal contact she's had with me since we broke up has been without his knowledge.
I remember feeling the same in the earlier days of our relationship, at least till I was confident she wasn't gonna ditch me in favour of an ex. Perhaps down the road I'll be back in more regular contact with her. On the other hand if I have a new girlfriend at that point maybe I won't care anymore.
Far as I've heard though it's a problem for my ex's new boyfriend. Any minimal contact she's had with me since we broke up has been without his knowledge.
I remember feeling the same in the earlier days of our relationship, at least till I was confident she wasn't gonna ditch me in favour of an ex. Perhaps down the road I'll be back in more regular contact with her. On the other hand if I have a new girlfriend at that point maybe I won't care anymore.
Wow I'm quite impressed getting this post from you. Thank you.
HELL. NO.
Especially if your "significant other" is through marriage. Dating (for however long) is a different story. But married and your wife/husband still wanting to have contact with an ex!? And the other partner being cool with it? **** all that.
This is how I see it. This is my second marriage. My first marriage I was cheated on multiple times so I have some trust issues. I personally believe there is no reason to have exes as friends unless there are kids involved which there are none in the situation I am describing.
toylion
Super Freak
SSS (shoot, shovel, shut up).
That's interesting, when I talk to some of my exes, their current bfs don't know either. I even told them "if you want us to stop talking that's okay with me I don't mind"
but they don't want to break the friendship (but at the same time the guys are really jealous or something)
As far as I see it I'm not doing anything bad except chatting on them on facebook or sometimes on the phone, I would never try to go after them so technically those guys have nothing to worry about even if they don't know lol.
i was also cheated on before. it used to bother me but i don't care anymore. having exes as friends could be tricky there is no doubt about that. I guess it depends on the people involved really.
to me having a distant gf is more worrying than a gf that has "ex"-friends. when i got cheated on it was always dudes they met recently (back then) , it was never old flames or anything like that. specially because you can know who the exes are for example. the guys they cheated on were completely off my radar (if that makes sense)
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