Well, in her defence I became very ugly towards the end.
Being a full-time film student and being stressed out enough with that as it is (heavy case load that never seems to end), you would think that the person who is with you would add to your life and take away from that stress. Rather than adding to it.
We started out as the perfect couple. Then she found out I had Maxims and that was where her confidence and trust started to fade with us. Apparently looking at fully, yet provocatively, and scantily clad dressed woman is cheating. In her mind, it's cheating on a mental level. So you're not truly faithful to your lover. I remember her going on a rampage ripping up my collection. I was like, they are fantasy only. You're my fantasy come reality. These women are just some girls on paper that live thousands of miles away. I have no intention of tracking them down.
I never got that since I have never been known to cheat on anyone. I am as innocent as they come.
1. Not a stalker.
2. I am a student. Too poor to stalk Maxim girls.
So right off the bat there was absurdity in the relationship and how she viewed certain things.
She would always ask questions that would provoke fights or arguments. Would you dump me if a prettier girl came along and asked you out?
If I got fat would you still love me. Then it got worse, and went to some scary stuff I choose not to share with this forum out of respect to the then relationship. Mostly towards the ex.
And anytime I was near the end of a semester like the first one of the year... she called me up and said we're done because apparently I had some stupid website with a chick (again fully dressed) on it, and she was like how can I trust you? She dumped me, but would take me back the same day. But it really f'ed with my head that day. I couldn't get anything accomplished. Who does that, really? And then the negative BS started to build up. That happened during the midst of a heavy project and exam time. Lets just say I lost a lot of muscle and weight during that time due to stress, lack of sleep, and diet. Thankfully I gained back a lot of that muscle in the following semester.
Lets just say I became an uglier person because of the relationship. I started cursing and yelling at her. I didn't like where I was heading. All I know is I am better without her, because I was starting to get scared with how angry I would get. Nobody should ever get you to that state, but man... the nagging just never stopped. It came at the worst times.
So yes, I would say she also did better by getting rid of me.. we both played a factor in the breakup. As much as we loved eachother, we knew how to press eachother's buttons.
I never want to become that abusive tool that we hear so often about, and wonder why these women stick with them.
