Poll: Biggest bad-@$$ TV or film spy/agent?

[dekadentdave]

Bond is a stiff ass Brit.

 

[thamesvalidude]

Bond is a stiff ass Brit.

But would break Bauer in two simply by flexing his d**k.
However, let's not get into that as I haven't watched "24" (even though my stepdad was in it in season 2!) and Mr Dekadent..if I remember correctly, you were NEVER going to watch Craig???

Or was that someone else?


Hey look at me defending the country I'm desperate to leave.

 

[PosterBoyKelly]

I don't see my choice.....................................................................................BROCK SAMSON!

 

[El Roranous]

I just wanted to say. JACK BAUER ALWAYS WINS!



On a side note, what is with these f*cking idiots that don't listen to Jack, when he speaks your as* better be paying attention or your dead.

 

[thamesvalidude]

I just wanted to say. JACK BAUER ALWAYS WINS!



On a side note, what is with these f*cking idiots that don't listen to Jack, when he speaks your as* better be paying attention or your dead.

Jack..........He's still a little "lost boy" at heart

 

[thamesvalidude]

Does all this mean I am going to have to watch 24?

 

[JSA]

Not even God can stop Jack Bauer. The man has died like twice and he still comes back to life. Why? Cause Jack Bauer is too badass for Heaven.

Just FYI folks, Bannister says that Jack has died and been brought back to life,
and that shows how bad-@$$ he is. Well, that happened to Bond & Hunt too,
so they're just as bad-@$$ as Jack if you're using that as a benchmark.

Bourne too was shot full-o-holes, not dead but close, and he came back to
wreak some havoc, like a total bad-@$$.

I'm leaning towards Bourne, as he's such an unassuming looking fellow.
Looks like any college kid that you could see on any campus, except
he can kill you faster than you can blink, and then boink your lady just
for good measure.......now that is a bad-@$$.

bad-@$$ bad-@$$ bad-@$$ bad-@$$

JS

 

[Darth Caedus]

I'm going to go for a write-in and say CHUCK NORRIS and I'll tell you why. Now, bear in mind, that this is a true story.

Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

 

[carbo-fation]

Jason Bourne gets my vote, especially after reading the three novels.

 

[El Roranous]

I'm going to go for a write-in and say CHUCK NORRIS and I'll tell you why. Now, bear in mind, that this is a true story.

Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

When in Jack Bauer's presence, Chuck Norris urinates sitting down. Nuff said

 

[Darth Caedus]

When in Jack Bauer's presence, Chuck Norris urinates sitting down. Nuff said

Chuck Norris has to urinate sitting down on the floor from across the room. His urine is too powerful to slowed down by the mere 2 feet that Jack Bauer uses. His urine's chemical formula is the same as Cyanide gas CN-. That is also Chuck Norris' initials, this is not a coincidence.

 

[El Roranous]

Chuck Norris has to urinate sitting down on the floor from across the room. His urine is too powerful to slowed down by the mere 2 feet that Jack Bauer uses. His urine's chemical formula is the same as Cyanide gas CN-. That is also Chuck Norris' initials, this is not a coincidence.

 

[Ironman1188]

Congerking, this is how rumors start.
Norris did indeed make MacGyver puke out his own heart. That much is true. However, upon planting both feet back on the ground, Norris was bent over and penetrated by Jack Bauer. Six months later Chuck gave birth to Jason Bourne [Norris is too much of a man to carry for 9 months]

 

[JSA]

Congerking, this is how rumors start.
Norris did indeed make MacGyver puke out his own heart. That much is true. However, upon planting both feet back on the ground, Norris was bent over and penetrated by Jack Bauer. Six months later Chuck gave birth to Jason Bourne [Norris is too much of a man to carry for 9 months]

JS

 

[Darth Caedus]

Congerking, this is how rumors start.
Norris did indeed make MacGyver puke out his own heart. That much is true. However, upon planting both feet back on the ground, Norris was bent over and penetrated by Jack Bauer. Six months later Chuck gave birth to Jason Bourne [Norris is too much of a man to carry for 9 months]

See it is impossible for anybody to do that to Chuck Norris. Behind and hidden in each entry in Norris' body is both a round-house kick and a fist with an Uzi. Since you are talking about child birth, Chuck Norris is such a bad-@$$ that it is genetically impossible for him to have a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he started with a series of round-house kicks which propelled him into the upper atmosphere. From there he round-house kicked the world backwards and descended onto the Earth and found his mother. He then has sex with his mother which would then 9 months later give birth to the Chuck Norris we know today. Well, not give birth, 9 months into the pregnancy, Chuck Norris round-house kicked his way out of the womb...

 

[dekadentdave]

Jack Bauer is so godly that he actually shot his quantum sperm through time and immaculately conceived himself by impregnating his own mother. Jack has no father. He IS the father, the son and the holy mutha f'n spirit!

 

[Darth Caedus]

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Did Jack Bauer beat the devil?

 

[dekadentdave]

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Did Jack Bauer beat the devil?

All I know is that Jack Bauer plays poker with him every first Wednesday of the month.

 

[Darth Caedus]

I mentioned souls before...There has been endless debate about the existence of the human soul debated around the world. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious, tastes like chicken

 

[Shai]

ALL THOSE SO-CALLED BAD ASS YOU SPEAK OF ARE BABIES COMPARE TO THE KURGAN.