The Ringer
Super Freak
Girls with big boos works at Hooters. Where do girls with one leg work?
Ihop
SSF Joke Thread
- Thread starter The Ringer
- Start date
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Devil_666
Super Freak
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
hairlesswookiee
PALPATINE CRUSADER!!!!
Mesa
Super Freak
Why can't a brown chicken and a brown cow be left alone in the same room?
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Give up?
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Give up?
Because they'll have sex. Brown Chicken Brown Cow.
(sung like a 70's porno theme song)
(sung like a 70's porno theme song)
Devil_666
Super Freak
A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely". To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher said, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy".
Another student raised his hand and said, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher replied, "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either."
Another student raised his hand and asked the teacher, "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looked at him and said, "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask during class discussion." So the student replied, "Then I definitely just crapped my pants."
Another student raised his hand and said, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher replied, "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either."
Another student raised his hand and asked the teacher, "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looked at him and said, "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask during class discussion." So the student replied, "Then I definitely just crapped my pants."
The Ringer
Super Freak
Oh man, that last one was great Devil 
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees.
The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks.
Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees.
The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks.
Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
Devil_666
Super Freak
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, "What's wrong with Schlitz?" The man says, "Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks."
The bartender says, "You drink a whole case of ANY beer and you're going to blow chunks."
The guy says, "You don't understand, Chunks is my dog."
jinxx
Super Freak
I got nothing but I'm loving this thread already!
Great idea for a thread, but this will end up in the sandbox where it belongs!
So far I laughed the hardest at:
So far I laughed the hardest at:
that joke is awesome, i am telling my mate that later when he comes round for the boxing 
Darth Caedus
Formerly Congerking
I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
The Ringer
Super Freak
Devil, you are a funny f^^^^^!
villainsfan42
Super Freak
Devil_666
Super Freak
Mesa
Super Freak
So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
- Joined
- May 1, 2008
- Messages
- 4,295
- Reaction score
- 168
National Poetry contest comes down to two contestants. A Havard English major and a Man from Kentucky.
One last word will be given to them and the contestant who comes up with the best poem wins.
The word is Timbktu.
The Havard man goes first:
Across the burning desert sand
trekked a dusty caravan
men on camels
two by two
destination Timbuktu
The crowd gasps. The Havards mans poem is brilliant. How can this bumkin from the country beat it.
Well Kentucky steps up to the mic.
Me an' Tim
A campin went
Met three gals
in a pop up tent
They was three
an we was two
So I bucked one
And Timbuktu.
The crowd went wild......
One last word will be given to them and the contestant who comes up with the best poem wins.
The word is Timbktu.
The Havard man goes first:
Across the burning desert sand
trekked a dusty caravan
men on camels
two by two
destination Timbuktu
The crowd gasps. The Havards mans poem is brilliant. How can this bumkin from the country beat it.
Well Kentucky steps up to the mic.
Me an' Tim
A campin went
Met three gals
in a pop up tent
They was three
an we was two
So I bucked one
And Timbuktu.
The crowd went wild......
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