SSF Joke Thread
- Thread starter The Ringer
- Start date
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Why is it that no matter how many times I watch this all I see is man *****?!?!
EVILFACE
Insufferable S.O.B.
devilof76
Super Freak
I only know one joke.
A bus full of Catholic school girls goes over a cliff and kills them all. At the pearly gates, St. Peter says to the first girl, "Mary Dougherty, have you ever seen a man's _____?" Mary says, "Yes, St.Peter." So St.Peter has her splash holy water in her eyes. "Now you may enter the Kingdom of Heaven child."
St.Peter says to the next girl, "Elizabeth Sullivan, have you ever touched a man's _____?" Elizabeth responds, "Yes, St.Peter." So, St.Peter has her dip her hand in the holy water, and lets her through the gate.
Suddenly, there's a commotion at the back of the line, as one of the girls shoves her way to the front. St. Peter asks, "Maggie O'Reilly, what seems to be the problem?" Maggie answers, "If I'm going to have to drink that holy water, I'm doing it before Katie O'Connell washes her ___hole in it."
A bus full of Catholic school girls goes over a cliff and kills them all. At the pearly gates, St. Peter says to the first girl, "Mary Dougherty, have you ever seen a man's _____?" Mary says, "Yes, St.Peter." So St.Peter has her splash holy water in her eyes. "Now you may enter the Kingdom of Heaven child."
St.Peter says to the next girl, "Elizabeth Sullivan, have you ever touched a man's _____?" Elizabeth responds, "Yes, St.Peter." So, St.Peter has her dip her hand in the holy water, and lets her through the gate.
Suddenly, there's a commotion at the back of the line, as one of the girls shoves her way to the front. St. Peter asks, "Maggie O'Reilly, what seems to be the problem?" Maggie answers, "If I'm going to have to drink that holy water, I'm doing it before Katie O'Connell washes her ___hole in it."
GrayWolf87
Super Freak
Yeah I had seen the video before. Think the strip is better. Dont have to put up with crappy acting from both of them. My opinion and preference though.
Just heard this one again, it's an old one:
A guy hears a knock on the door. He opens it and sees a snail. The snail says, "Mind if I talk to you for a moment?". The guy picks up the snail and chucks it, "Get the f__k outta here!".
Three years later, the guy hears a knock at the door. He opens it and sees the snail. The snail says, "What the hell was that all about?"
A guy hears a knock on the door. He opens it and sees a snail. The snail says, "Mind if I talk to you for a moment?". The guy picks up the snail and chucks it, "Get the f__k outta here!".
Three years later, the guy hears a knock at the door. He opens it and sees the snail. The snail says, "What the hell was that all about?"
villainsfan42
Super Freak
What! This isn't in the Sandbox yet?!?!
now it is
<object style="height: 344px; width: 425px"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/rSY1i2ieDQc"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/rSY1i2ieDQc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></object>
gotta love jackie "the joke man" martling
Darth Caedus
Formerly Congerking
A Priest and a Rabbi are sitting at a bar having a few drinks when a Father and his 12 year old son walk in.
The father is sitting down when the child drops his iPhone on the ground. As the child bends over to pick it up, the priest says "Man, I would like to screw him"; the Rabbi looks at the Priest and says "Screw him out of what?"
The father is sitting down when the child drops his iPhone on the ground. As the child bends over to pick it up, the priest says "Man, I would like to screw him"; the Rabbi looks at the Priest and says "Screw him out of what?"
barryo
Dealer of Death
- Joined
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One day, Little Johnny's class was reviewing the alphabet. His teacher knew that he had an ''advanced'' vocabulary for his age, so she was trying to avoid calling on him. When the teacher asked for a word beginning with "A", Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher knew he would say "ass" so she called on Mary Lou, who said ''apple".
This continued through most of the alphabet, because his teacher knew that there was a cuss word that Johnny would say for every letter of the alphabet. Then she got to ''R''. She thought for a moment, but couldn't think of any cuss words that began with R, so she called on Johnny.
''R is for "rats" johnny said.
the teacher replied "oh that's a nice word for r...."rats"
to which jonny added "yep.......rats, big ____ING rats, with twelve-inch d___s!''
This continued through most of the alphabet, because his teacher knew that there was a cuss word that Johnny would say for every letter of the alphabet. Then she got to ''R''. She thought for a moment, but couldn't think of any cuss words that began with R, so she called on Johnny.
''R is for "rats" johnny said.
the teacher replied "oh that's a nice word for r...."rats"
to which jonny added "yep.......rats, big ____ING rats, with twelve-inch d___s!''
villainsfan42
Super Freak
a jew walks into a bar...
that's it, that's the joke.
that's it, that's the joke.
The Ringer
Super Freak
GrayWolf87
Super Freak
a jew walks into a bar...
that's it, that's the joke.
Did it hurt?
villainsfan42
Super Freak
the Doctor
Just a little Freaky
The Ringer
Super Freak
Why are womens feet so small?
So they can stand closer to the countertops
shakesnake
Super Freak
what happends if a jew walks into a wall with a boner?
He hurts his nose
barryo
Dealer of Death
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2007
- Messages
- 13,826
- Reaction score
- 64
https://www.sideshowcollectors.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3026&highlight=jokes
some real gems in here............
some real gems in here............
Devil_666
Super Freak
A young teenage girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.
Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.
"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself" she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!"
Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.
"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself" she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!"
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