Star Wars: The Acolyte

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Rama's great big, little-bitty absolutely ridiculous The Acolyte review so far:

First:
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Okay, onward. I find the names of the twins distracting: one is named after a government agency, and the other is named perhaps the blandest, most common Asian female name ever. This is the best they can do? fr this is not very cool.

This show, much to my surprise is actually not the worst thing ever. Definitely seen worse. Mando season 3 was way worse than this. These witches are not really striking a chord with me. They're not interesting. Mother Talzin would wipe the floor with them.

Mind you, not saying its "good." But not the worst. It has no Ewoks in it at least. Five year old girls are not outrunning seasoned adult bounty hunters.

Great fight choreography.

That padawan with the horns reminds me of an Andorian and I will die on that hill. If she had not already died there first.

Mei's obsession with her sister strikes me as almost incestuous.

Wasted Wookiee Jedi. What was even up with that, just a total waste - and he dont even get a fight scene.

Man, why you gotta kill Yord. I liked him.

Sol is quite okay. (y)

A Sith! very persuasive [reminds me of Maul] and he needs to stay out of seductive tidal pools. Did Anakin have game? This guy makes him look like a kid in that department. This men in this are ripped to shreds and I cant say that I disapprove.

Worst helmet ever tho.

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Orange lightsabers are the only ones I would consent to own and thats another hill I'll die on.


EDIT: I just watched Avatar: the Way of Water and the entire back end of that movie made TLJ look like Shakespeare. YOU HEARD ME.
 
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The foppish cowardly Jedi is apparently named "Mog Adana." He's still a padawan, but he seems to prefer braiding his padawan braid in a little ponytail.

I hate him so much. I despise him. I loathe him. I hate him more than I hated Nose Lady. I officially proclaim him to be the single worst Disney SW character of all time, in all known universes.

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...worse than Weed Pirate Captain? Think carefully before you answer

And wait! Worse than Bikini Werewolf?!
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...worse than Weed Pirate Captain? Think carefully before you answer
Space pirate captain Gloryhole Shaft was a great character, right up there with Peli (jawa fondler) Motto, Blue SNL dude, Jar Jar Binks, Power Ranger Motor Squad, Rose Tico, Lumpy, Jack Black + Space Lizzo, and all the others, almost all of which are post Lucas, which shows just how talented Disney Lucasfilm are at making great and compelling characters that become all time classics.
 
Space pirate captain Gloryhole Shaft was a great character, right up there with Peli (jawa fondler) Motto, Blue SNL dude, Jar Jar Binks, Power Ranger Motor Squad, Rose Tico, Lumpy, Jack Black + Space Lizzo, and all the others, almost all of which are post Lucas, which shows just how talented Disney Lucasfilm are at making great and compelling characters that become all time classics.

Don’t forget...

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Its so stupid how accurate this is.
If the helmet blocks one senses, then how can he sense where/when a Jedi will strike next?
Unless Qimer is just a better overall swordsman/fighter, it really doesn't make sense.
Yawn. Refer to 1977.

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Oh, and also 2002

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Insanely powerful Sith? Blind
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Entire species of force sensitives? Blind
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Blind
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Blind...
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Yup, That's why we should be extra grateful for the odd exceptions like Prey and Furiosa...
I haven't seen Furiosa yet but yeah I've heard that's good. And Prey was pretty decent...........technically Rogue One was a prequel...Solo aswell and I like those well enough but still, what have prequels ever done for us??!!

.......actually I somewhat like Star Trek Strange New Worlds. But for numerous reasons I simply can't accept that it will transition into TOS so I prefer to think of it as a full remake with no canonical connection.
 
Yawn. Refer to 1977.

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Oh, and also 2002

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Insanely powerful Sith? Blind
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Entire species of force sensitives? Blind
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Blind
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Blind...
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You forget that the helmet is supposed to block force users reading his mind... so blocks the force, yet he uses the force. Contradicts itself.

The ones in the previous examples only had physical vision blocked, not the force
 
You forget that the helmet is supposed to block force users reading his mind... so blocks the force, yet he uses the force. Contradicts itself.

The ones in the previous examples only had physical vision blocked, not the force
Anyway IMO this is Sith to me is suspiciously not smellin' like Old Spice but more like a Gary Sue.

Getting Ready Skin Care GIF by Amazon Prime Video


Assuming he was beaten/scarred by "bad Jedi" and ran away so he could "be himself" - so, assuming it takes years to develop saber-talent unless you are Rey, he's so inherently powerful, even self-trained, he can take out Jedi etc. :pfft:

Seein' as LH & co. can't do anything original, this is more like Q'rey. Possibly. Maybe Green Bean had him stashed someplace.

Personally I'd re-watch any other SW except maybe TROS whose writing also reached IMO staggering levels of stupidity and plot conveniences like that knife and Rey surfing gale force waves.
 
"Green Bean," LMAO!

As for Qimir vs Rey, at least Q had *some training* unlike Rey who had not even five minutes of training before fighting a Sith Lord. Not just some run of the mill Sith, a Sith lord. And she emerged alive from that. Uh-huh, thats right. We dont know how long Q was trained, it may have been years.

No one will ever out-MarySue Rey, its simply not possible.
 
"Green Bean," LMAO!

As for Qimir vs Rey, at least Q had *some training* unlike Rey who had not even five minutes of training before fighting a Sith Lord. Not just some run of the mill Sith, a Sith lord. And she emerged alive from that. Uh-huh, thats right. We dont know how long Q was trained, it may have been years.

No one will ever out-MarySue Rey, its simply not possible.
He also implies that he may be older than he seems.

And if he is a Sith then he will have had a Sith master.
 
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