All I know is now that now that I know these fem writers (Rian included)are staying up late to read twilight Star Wars fanfic, I can impact the future of Star Wars. I’mma write me some fanfic and do what snikt never did: upload it to that site. I suggest you all do the same!
Mine’ll be about Ghost Luke coming back but being addicted to the teat. He wants to take corporeal form again just to be able to feel the sensation and perfect viscosity of that fresh from the tap alien milk. He’ll do anything to get it and falls to the dark side while still a ghost and possesses Hux (coz he’s a white male). Kylo is still conflicted for a new reason, maybe coz ruling is too hard, and he goes on rants and tells people they don’t know what it’s like
It ends up with him and Rey forced to join each other in an epic battle against Luke wearing a backpack full of ***** milk that’s injected with tubes into his skin like Bane does with venom. They also give him the EU name of Darth Bane. Luke almost kills them but in their final moments they finally embrace, close their eyes and kiss (Reylo!), which causes the force to not only awaken but intensify. With Kylo’s schwartz being the ideal size of 6.5” they take a series of wild swings at Luke which defeats him through the power of true love. There is no redemption for a teat crazed and roided up Luke.
However before a happy ending can prevail for these star crossed lovers, kylo is stabbed in the back by a force pushed broom with its other end sharpened into a shiv. The first order remnants bow down to their new king, and he sets them on a better path of killing every rich person in the galaxy, which neither Rey nor anyone else has a problem with. They all dye their hair and take on the name of the 99%, razing whole planets with no regard to human safety, but their top supervisor Rose (wearing a heavily modified version of Phasmas Armor) always has an ark ship on standby to to tractor beam up the animals. Finn is the first to die in this new escapade.
Epilogue:
It gets a 95% RT critic score and a 51% audience score, still beating out TLJ
Mark Hamill posts ***** milk pictures on national milk day 2019 and says ‘we should have gone with more of Lucas’ ideas’ in interviews, and seems disinterested, but is still less grumpy than after TLJ.
