LIBBY1957DOG
Super Freak
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2007
- Messages
- 2,345
- Reaction score
- 234
whats the chances of the first season playing out like this guy calls it lol
Against His Immense and Terrible Flesh
Quote:
The living lowest-hanging fruit that is the Venn diagram between “Superhero fans” and “Men’s Rights Activists” have recently lost their minds at the trailer for the upcoming CBS television show “Supergirl.” Alarmed that a female-led show might include such things as “romance,” “comedy” and – most offensive of all - “women” taking on controversial roles like “employer” and “sister” while men have been relegated to merely “all the other roles on the show,” they’ve vented their fury on the internet rather than merely choosing to not watch the thing, for some reason.
Still, to give them an apparently much-needed ego boost, I’ve composed the following synopsis of a 13-episode half-season for Supergirl which is completely tailored to their priorities and which should alleviate every single one of their giant baby idiot concerns:
Episode 1: Pilot: Supergirl arrives on Earth, is informed that there is already a man flying around and saving people’s lives, realizes that it would merely be tokenism for her to star in her own show and immediately retires from superheroing. Rest of episode is dedicated to her male co-workers playing an epic all-night Call of Duty scenario.
Episode 2: The Parasite attacks downtown. Supergirl is rendered helpless when the power-leeching supervillain dons a shirt reading “Cool Story Babe Now Go Make Me A Sandwich.” Spends rest of episode making sandwiches.
Episode 3: Terra-Man attacks downtown. Supergirl is rendered helpless when he accuses her of being a “fake geek girl” who “doesn’t even know that Jimmy Olsen is supposed to be white.”
Episode 4: Vartox attacks downtown. Supergirl is rendered helpless by his constant fedora-tipping and use of the term “m’lady.” Because he is nice to her, ancient Kryptonian law dictates that she is required to be his girlfriend.
Episode 5: Supergirl discovers an amazing new power – she can make sandwiches with her mind. Spends rest of episode making sandwiches.
Episode 6: A band of Social Justice Warriors attack downtown. Supergirl tells them “This isn’t an S on my chest, it’s my family’s crest. It stands for ‘Not Your Shield’.” They disperse to make sandwiches.
Episode 7: The Galactic Golem attacks downtown. Supergirl can’t stop him because she’s sitting quietly in the same room as her boyfriend as he and the other male characters on the show play an epic all-night Call of Duty scenario.
Episode 8: Toyman attacks downtown. Supergirl is helpless to defeat him because the Teen Titans have been sending her **** pics and she’s too flattered to respond.
Episode 9: Feminism attacks downtown. Supergirl destroys feminism completely by declaring that it’s “a pretty extreme label,” then makes sandwiches.
Episode 10: Bizarro Supergirl attacks downtown. She and Supergirl “lez out,” which her boyfriend calls “pretty hot.” Photos are stolen from Supergirl’s phone and end up on Perez Hilton’s site, but she admits that she’s at fault in the first place for ever getting nude in front of recordable media. Is flattered by the attention.
Episode 11: Ultra-Humanite attacks downtown. Supergirl is mansplained into helplessness. She ultimately is forced to become Ultra-Humanite’s “waifu.”
Episode 12: Misandry attacks downtown. Supergirl defeats it by chanting “Men are good, men are great, Feminism is a form of hate!” until it gives up, makes sandwiches.
Episode 13: All of Supergirl’s enemies attack downtown. Supergirl has a period, however, and must stay home making period sandwiches. Male characters on the show band together to defeat the bad guys using skills they picked up playing all-night Call of Duty scenarios. Episode ends with Superman showing up to spray-paint over the word “girl” in show title, replaces it with “man,” throws the horns, a guitar lick plays, everyone crushes beer cans on their heads. Supergirl shows her ****s, Superman slams an energy drink and turns baseball cap backwards on his head. An epic game of beer pong is played. Everyone vapes. End of season 1. Men win.
Against His Immense and Terrible Flesh
Quote:
The living lowest-hanging fruit that is the Venn diagram between “Superhero fans” and “Men’s Rights Activists” have recently lost their minds at the trailer for the upcoming CBS television show “Supergirl.” Alarmed that a female-led show might include such things as “romance,” “comedy” and – most offensive of all - “women” taking on controversial roles like “employer” and “sister” while men have been relegated to merely “all the other roles on the show,” they’ve vented their fury on the internet rather than merely choosing to not watch the thing, for some reason.
Still, to give them an apparently much-needed ego boost, I’ve composed the following synopsis of a 13-episode half-season for Supergirl which is completely tailored to their priorities and which should alleviate every single one of their giant baby idiot concerns:
Episode 1: Pilot: Supergirl arrives on Earth, is informed that there is already a man flying around and saving people’s lives, realizes that it would merely be tokenism for her to star in her own show and immediately retires from superheroing. Rest of episode is dedicated to her male co-workers playing an epic all-night Call of Duty scenario.
Episode 2: The Parasite attacks downtown. Supergirl is rendered helpless when the power-leeching supervillain dons a shirt reading “Cool Story Babe Now Go Make Me A Sandwich.” Spends rest of episode making sandwiches.
Episode 3: Terra-Man attacks downtown. Supergirl is rendered helpless when he accuses her of being a “fake geek girl” who “doesn’t even know that Jimmy Olsen is supposed to be white.”
Episode 4: Vartox attacks downtown. Supergirl is rendered helpless by his constant fedora-tipping and use of the term “m’lady.” Because he is nice to her, ancient Kryptonian law dictates that she is required to be his girlfriend.
Episode 5: Supergirl discovers an amazing new power – she can make sandwiches with her mind. Spends rest of episode making sandwiches.
Episode 6: A band of Social Justice Warriors attack downtown. Supergirl tells them “This isn’t an S on my chest, it’s my family’s crest. It stands for ‘Not Your Shield’.” They disperse to make sandwiches.
Episode 7: The Galactic Golem attacks downtown. Supergirl can’t stop him because she’s sitting quietly in the same room as her boyfriend as he and the other male characters on the show play an epic all-night Call of Duty scenario.
Episode 8: Toyman attacks downtown. Supergirl is helpless to defeat him because the Teen Titans have been sending her **** pics and she’s too flattered to respond.
Episode 9: Feminism attacks downtown. Supergirl destroys feminism completely by declaring that it’s “a pretty extreme label,” then makes sandwiches.
Episode 10: Bizarro Supergirl attacks downtown. She and Supergirl “lez out,” which her boyfriend calls “pretty hot.” Photos are stolen from Supergirl’s phone and end up on Perez Hilton’s site, but she admits that she’s at fault in the first place for ever getting nude in front of recordable media. Is flattered by the attention.
Episode 11: Ultra-Humanite attacks downtown. Supergirl is mansplained into helplessness. She ultimately is forced to become Ultra-Humanite’s “waifu.”
Episode 12: Misandry attacks downtown. Supergirl defeats it by chanting “Men are good, men are great, Feminism is a form of hate!” until it gives up, makes sandwiches.
Episode 13: All of Supergirl’s enemies attack downtown. Supergirl has a period, however, and must stay home making period sandwiches. Male characters on the show band together to defeat the bad guys using skills they picked up playing all-night Call of Duty scenarios. Episode ends with Superman showing up to spray-paint over the word “girl” in show title, replaces it with “man,” throws the horns, a guitar lick plays, everyone crushes beer cans on their heads. Supergirl shows her ****s, Superman slams an energy drink and turns baseball cap backwards on his head. An epic game of beer pong is played. Everyone vapes. End of season 1. Men win.