Dissecting the sexes.

[ExMem-LarjaThwei]

^ So women are crazy.

 

[Batty]

You can love yourself and not be selfish.

I love myself as often as possible. Thank you, internet porn.

 

[barryo]

I love myself as often as possible. Thank you, internet porn.

preventing cancer is one of the most unselfish acts there are batty............

 

[Kibishii]

Here is all you need to know:

1. Women are insane and men are idiots. This is the #1 thing you need to know.
2. Women are unable to understand that men have single-track minds and men do not understand that women are usually thinking of 5+ things that usually would never cross a man's mind.
3. Women like unabridged conversations, men like the abriged version
4. Women are inherently hormonal and can have mood swings like a roller coaster. When this happens, she wants you to understand her emotions, be patient with her, agree with her, never point out that she is hormonal, and magically predict whether or not she wants you to be supportive or just listen. Never, ever try to understand or make sense of how women think.
5. Women with extreme hormonal fluctuations are good in bed but rationality can escape them when they are angry.

 

[Lejuan]

My observation and experience is that most men and most women communicate very differently.

Most men, when talking to other men, are very direct. This has some basis in biological imperative. Men are built and designed to provide and protect. Direct and lack of ambiguity is the best method to provide for the general defense of the community structure and to streamline the means to provide for their offspring.

Most women, when talking to other women, are not very direct, in so much as within the eyes of the male perspective. This also has a basis in biological imperative. Every woman, particularly an attractive woman or a woman around the same age bracket or an available woman, is competition or potential competition. This is part of the reason why, IMHO, many women struggle to get along with other women in general and why it is very hard for many women to have many friendships with other women.

Also you have to factor in basic socialization. Most men are held to one standard - Be a winner in your career and work. That's it. Men compete on that level. Most women however compete against each other in terms of how society values them, in terms of their relationships and their interactions with each other. It's not socially correct or politically correct for a girl to be too blunt or too bold or to be too aggressive. Most women are taught from a young age that any validation they should have for themselves should derive from external validation. I'm not saying it's right, I'm not saying it's fair, I'm not even saying that's what they openly say to each other, but that is how, sadly and IMHO, they actually treat each other.

What the girls on your Facebook, my guess on it, were complaining about was the basic female complaint of "Why can't I find a good/great guy?" Most men think, "Wait, I'm a good guy! Right?" Then they ask the woman, "What do you mean by a good guy?" Then most women will rattle off a list of things like "Sweet" or "kind" or "good listener" or "has it together" or "romantic" and so on and so forth. Then most men watch how most women date and fully believe most women are lying through their teeth. They think, "Wait, she's with that greasy haired lead singer from a band or that bad boy and he's got 10 women on a string and he just pumped her and dumped her and she's back begging for more"

Here's the basic problem. When a woman is talking to a woman, a lot of their communication is simply implied and "understood" without direct specific statements. When a woman says she wants a "great guy" and then lists certain things, it's not all she wants. She also wants other things, she just assumes everyone else "gets it", what she wants, because she communicates in a mode in how women talk to other women, where they don't always have to verbalize things. Women do a lot of talking, that's for sure, but a lot of how they talk to other women , IMHO, is based on body language, nuance, tone inflection and strangely what they don't say. Remember, while they are talking and might be sharing their issues or needs, they are still fundamentally competitors, they cannot compartmentalize competition the way men do.

When you hear a woman say, "Why can't I find a great guy?", as a guy, you have to translate it to,

"Why can't I find a guy with these attributes, X, Y, Z, A, B, C, 1, 7, and Q, along with being sweet and listen to me and be romantic and also commit to me and no other woman"

Why won't most women come out and say that? Well why should they?

In the courtship process, men do most of the work. Men have to do most of the approaching, most of the initial talking, most of the attempt at impressing the woman. By nature of the courtship ritual, most men have to make adjustments in how they communicate to try to appeal to women. Most women don't make any adjustments in their communication style because frankly they don't have to do it. Most men are looking for physical appeal as an initial attractor, you don't have to be a great communicator to have a great pair of tits or look hot in a tiny miniskirt. Also most women, esp here in the US, are constantly validated for any of their feelings or behaviors. Doesn't matter why a girl is crying, if she's crying, other girls and other men want her to stop crying and make her feel better. If a boy cries? If he's at a certain age, he needs to STFU and man up. (Sadly Eli26, this is why you are treated the way you do, if you were a woman, many people on this board would probably ease off of you some. Fair? Not fair? Doesn't matter, it's how things work sometimes)

This is also why, flip the coin, when a woman does really like a guy, often his behaviors or motives will appear confusing to her. She will continue to attempt to communicate in a way women communicate with women, when she is put in a situation where she wants a guy more than he might want her ( the more rare reverse situation) and has no practical understanding of how to communicate the way men communicate with men, often how he is probably operating. This is why many women will get so happy at small little social cues from the men they really want, because it's the type of cue they would use themselves to try to communicate. When that super hot guy at work says hello in the hallway, she thinks he must really like her. This is because most women aren't factoring in how most men communicate. Whereas a woman might time what time she gets into the hallway or plan out what she might say to start or conversation or give off certain body language cues to hope to interest him, she will respond very positively to what she thinks of the interaction from the female lenses of view. But to the super hot guy at work with ripped abs and is 6'4 and is hung and has a huge trust fund and a giant house with a Ferrari out front? To him, it was just him saying hello to some chick at work.

There are some other things and other elements of general behavior I could say or talk about, but it's probably best if I leave certain themes alone.

So for some of you younger guys out there ( sometimes I forget I'm getting old in this hobby...), try not to get frustrated by what most chicks say to you, even if it's super hard to do, just try to remember you are literally listening to a different communication style and just about an entirely different language system that your basic socialization, education and upbringing did not prepare you for. Many guys will simply write off what women say and do, I think that's a mistake. I think it's far easier to pick up motive and to have the skill set to defend yourself and defend your interests when you can somewhat gauge most women's communication style. Try to remember that most women will want what most other women will desire, and usually anything that offers a high degree of external validation will be the things most coveted. It doesn't matter if it's actually good for her or emotionally healthy, she will probably want what makes her feel good about herself in the given time and place. Fair? Not fair? At some level, as a guy, you have to try to push fair out of the equation, it's just how life works sometime.

Go live a good life, try to be a good person, do things that make you happy. It's your best chance to meet someone great and share something exceptional, if you are that lucky in this life, and it's your best chance to just be happy and be good with yourself, even if you never meet anyone.

Only a woman would bother to read all of that.

 

[mr.thrifty]

Only a woman would bother to read all of that.

I dunno bout that.... Reminded me of a blackthorn post but without all the douchbaggery..........

 

[Lejuan]

I dunno bout that.... Reminded me of a blackthorn post but without all the douchbaggery..........

__________

 

[devilof76]

I still couldn't muster the attention. I did try.

Let me ask you this........do you care about your neice's well-being?

Yes, and if you think that's not selfish, you're crazy (as a...woman ).

I would die for my niece. She means that much to me.

 

[mr.thrifty]

I still couldn't muster the attention. I did try.

It took me two tries.... Half while at work and the other when I got home....

 

[devilof76]

It just seems like more effort than necessary.

All Eli needs to know is that you drag them by the hair so they dont fill up with dirt. If he needs more help than that, nothing will help him.

 

[Blackthornone]

I dunno bout that.... Reminded me of a blackthorn post but without all the douchbaggery..........

That is flaming, and is a violation of forum rules that deserves an infraction. by the way, the word you were looking for is *********gery, if I am not mistaken. There is an E in that word. If you are going to attempt to insult someone, you should at least spell the insult correctly.
Thank you for playing. No one has been able to define what that word means, anyway. It seems to basically amount to someone who doesn't act like an excessively aggressive and competitive pea brained barbarian who acts from basic animal instinct thinking with the reptilian brain, and who is someone you don't like.
BTW, I approve of his post.

 

[Lejuan]

That is flaming, and is a violation of forum rules that deserves an infraction. by the way, the word you were looking for is *********gery, if I am not mistaken. There is an E in that word. If you are going to attempt to insult someone, you should at least spell the insult correctly.
Thank you for playing. No one has been able to define what that word means, anyway. It seems to basically amount to someone who doesn't act like an excessively aggressive and competitive pea brained barbarian who acts from basic animal instinct thinking with the reptilian brain, and who is someone you don't like.
BTW, I approve of his post.

 

[Blackthornone]

My observation and experience is that most men and most women communicate very differently.

Most men, when talking to other men, are very direct. This has some basis in biological imperative. Men are built and designed to provide and protect. Direct and lack of ambiguity is the best method to provide for the general defense of the community structure and to streamline the means to provide for their offspring.

Most women, when talking to other women, are not very direct, in so much as within the eyes of the male perspective. This also has a basis in biological imperative. Every woman, particularly an attractive woman or a woman around the same age bracket or an available woman, is competition or potential competition. This is part of the reason why, IMHO, many women struggle to get along with other women in general and why it is very hard for many women to have many friendships with other women.

Also you have to factor in basic socialization. Most men are held to one standard - Be a winner in your career and work. That's it. Men compete on that level. Most women however compete against each other in terms of how society values them, in terms of their relationships and their interactions with each other. It's not socially correct or politically correct for a girl to be too blunt or too bold or to be too aggressive. Most women are taught from a young age that any validation they should have for themselves should derive from external validation. I'm not saying it's right, I'm not saying it's fair, I'm not even saying that's what they openly say to each other, but that is how, sadly and IMHO, they actually treat each other.

What the girls on your Facebook, my guess on it, were complaining about was the basic female complaint of "Why can't I find a good/great guy?" Most men think, "Wait, I'm a good guy! Right?" Then they ask the woman, "What do you mean by a good guy?" Then most women will rattle off a list of things like "Sweet" or "kind" or "good listener" or "has it together" or "romantic" and so on and so forth. Then most men watch how most women date and fully believe most women are lying through their teeth. They think, "Wait, she's with that greasy haired lead singer from a band or that bad boy and he's got 10 women on a string and he just pumped her and dumped her and she's back begging for more"

Here's the basic problem. When a woman is talking to a woman, a lot of their communication is simply implied and "understood" without direct specific statements. When a woman says she wants a "great guy" and then lists certain things, it's not all she wants. She also wants other things, she just assumes everyone else "gets it", what she wants, because she communicates in a mode in how women talk to other women, where they don't always have to verbalize things. Women do a lot of talking, that's for sure, but a lot of how they talk to other women , IMHO, is based on body language, nuance, tone inflection and strangely what they don't say. Remember, while they are talking and might be sharing their issues or needs, they are still fundamentally competitors, they cannot compartmentalize competition the way men do.

When you hear a woman say, "Why can't I find a great guy?", as a guy, you have to translate it to,

"Why can't I find a guy with these attributes, X, Y, Z, A, B, C, 1, 7, and Q, along with being sweet and listen to me and be romantic and also commit to me and no other woman"

Why won't most women come out and say that? Well why should they?

In the courtship process, men do most of the work. Men have to do most of the approaching, most of the initial talking, most of the attempt at impressing the woman. By nature of the courtship ritual, most men have to make adjustments in how they communicate to try to appeal to women. Most women don't make any adjustments in their communication style because frankly they don't have to do it. Most men are looking for physical appeal as an initial attractor, you don't have to be a great communicator to have a great pair of tits or look hot in a tiny miniskirt. Also most women, esp here in the US, are constantly validated for any of their feelings or behaviors. Doesn't matter why a girl is crying, if she's crying, other girls and other men want her to stop crying and make her feel better. If a boy cries? If he's at a certain age, he needs to STFU and man up. (Sadly Eli26, this is why you are treated the way you do, if you were a woman, many people on this board would probably ease off of you some. Fair? Not fair? Doesn't matter, it's how things work sometimes)

This is also why, flip the coin, when a woman does really like a guy, often his behaviors or motives will appear confusing to her. She will continue to attempt to communicate in a way women communicate with women, when she is put in a situation where she wants a guy more than he might want her ( the more rare reverse situation) and has no practical understanding of how to communicate the way men communicate with men, often how he is probably operating. This is why many women will get so happy at small little social cues from the men they really want, because it's the type of cue they would use themselves to try to communicate. When that super hot guy at work says hello in the hallway, she thinks he must really like her. This is because most women aren't factoring in how most men communicate. Whereas a woman might time what time she gets into the hallway or plan out what she might say to start or conversation or give off certain body language cues to hope to interest him, she will respond very positively to what she thinks of the interaction from the female lenses of view. But to the super hot guy at work with ripped abs and is 6'4 and is hung and has a huge trust fund and a giant house with a Ferrari out front? To him, it was just him saying hello to some chick at work.

There are some other things and other elements of general behavior I could say or talk about, but it's probably best if I leave certain themes alone.

So for some of you younger guys out there ( sometimes I forget I'm getting old in this hobby...), try not to get frustrated by what most chicks say to you, even if it's super hard to do, just try to remember you are literally listening to a different communication style and just about an entirely different language system that your basic socialization, education and upbringing did not prepare you for. Many guys will simply write off what women say and do, I think that's a mistake. I think it's far easier to pick up motive and to have the skill set to defend yourself and defend your interests when you can somewhat gauge most women's communication style. Try to remember that most women will want what most other women will desire, and usually anything that offers a high degree of external validation will be the things most coveted. It doesn't matter if it's actually good for her or emotionally healthy, she will probably want what makes her feel good about herself in the given time and place. Fair? Not fair? At some level, as a guy, you have to try to push fair out of the equation, it's just how life works sometime.

Go live a good life, try to be a good person, do things that make you happy. It's your best chance to meet someone great and share something exceptional, if you are that lucky in this life, and it's your best chance to just be happy and be good with yourself, even if you never meet anyone.

I agree with most of this. The reason why women date greasy haired singers or bad boys is because women find men who are able to get things done, and are uninhibited in getting things done to be attractive.
That is what those men have in common. bad boys do what they want and don't care what others think and don't let others hold them back, and that says success to a woman.

If a greasy haired musician has talent, he too, shapes his own destiny, and once again, women like that. Women like men with drive, and who are really capable. Women like confident men, because confidence is part of performance, and women expect a man to perform.

If a man comes across as too sensitive or meek, he seems to most women like a man who cannot handle things, and that is a major turn off to women, because it goes against what is needed for human survival.
Contrary to popular belief, a man doesn't have to be an a-hole to get women. He has to be confident. Being an A-hole is associated with confidence, because most a-holes are confident, but one does not need to be an a-hole to be confident.
Any man who comes across as sheepish to women or not strong is just ruining his chances with women. He cannot attract one easily, nor can he keep one easily, should he let himself become weak.
Any man who acts weak around women will only be f-ing himself.

 

[thenammagazine]

 

[mr.thrifty]

That is flaming, and is a violation of forum rules that deserves an infraction. by the way, the word you were looking for is *********gery, if I am not mistaken. There is an E in that word. If you are going to attempt to insult someone, you should at least spell the insult correctly.
Thank you for playing. No one has been able to define what that word means, anyway. It seems to basically amount to someone who doesn't act like an excessively aggressive and competitive pea brained barbarian who acts from basic animal instinct thinking with the reptilian brain, and who is someone you don't like.
BTW, I approve of his post.

Yep, There it is.........

 

[Devil_666]

by the way, the word you were looking for is *********gery, if I am not mistaken. There is an E in that word. If you are going to attempt to insult someone, you should at least spell the insult correctly.

Uh.. it's not even a real word. Who cares how people spell it. It's understood. Now carry on with your douchbaggery..........

 

[Blackthornone]

Uh.. it's not even a real word. Who cares how people spell it. It's understood. Now carry on with your douchbaggery..........

Exactly. It's not even a real word. Nor is it valid concept, for that matter.
It is merely a derogatory term used by the ignorant and inconsiderate. Nice people don't say such things. All it really does is reveal the character of those using it. Yep, people using a word that does not even exist to express how negative they are.
Such phrases are used by those who lack the command of the English language necessary to express their ideas concisely using REAL words.
That people who use them do not even care as to the spelling gives further credence to that fact. Thank you for proving my point.

Once again, an infraction is in order for you. Flaming is a violation of the rules.

 

[mr.thrifty]

Now carry on with your douchbaggery..........

----------->

 

[thenammagazine]

Exactly. It's not even a real word. Nor is it valid concept, for that matter.
It is merely a derogatory term used by the ignorant and inconsiderate. Nice people don't say such things. All it really does is reveal the character of those using it. Yep, people using a word that does not even exist to express how negative they are.
Such phrases are used by those who lack the command of the English language necessary to express their ideas concisely using REAL words.
That people who use them do not even care as to the spelling gives further credence to that fact. Thank you for proving my point.

Once again, an infraction is in order for you. Flaming is a violation of the rules.

Feel free to lecture people on their command of the English language and spelling when you learn how to ****ing type a proper paragraph.

 

[The Ween]

Now this stuff is true, at least in my experience.....

https://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=6182&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=1366744