GI Joe: Rise of Cobra Discussion and Reviews [SPOILERS]

[Shai]

If someone asked me do describe this movie in 2 words:


CACA FAIL



Those are the worst Fail by the way.

 

[bagelsncheesey]

No, they just show him running away from the scene and his katana stuck in the HM's back. Then 10 year old Snake Eyes making the "I am pissed at life" face. I at that, too.

I mean, that's even much worse than what they did in RESOLUTE.

Therefore we know that he didn't do it, since it wasn't on screen, which is perfectly on par with the comics (and Resolute, just a different case of hiring Zartan vs. not hiring Zartan), which i'm sure they'll get to in the sequels (to which you'll most likely wipe your ass with, since it's not Watchmen).

for such a "fan", you don't seem to remember much.

 

[IrishJedi]

Well i'm 2/3 into the movie now..and its definitely a POS....People liking this must have really low standards when watching a movie...its action scene after action scene after action scene after action scene...no substance....After the first 15 minutes every cliché of the genre has already been showed in front of your very eyes...makes you wonder why do you bother even watching it...But I courageously eat all of the poo poo platter


This is definitely not A Gi Joe Movie...maybe inspired by, but this is not Gi joe...



Biggest turds in the movie:


Cant stand wayan, he's really the resident comedic black dude....he's really not believable as an elite soldier...Black people worldwide should be ashame of the way he's portrayed with Duke....Why do Black people are always dumb in action movies starring white folks...Anyway he sux bad...Also, it seems sometimes Scarlett his disgust to kiss him....their realtion is not believable...

Tanning chatum or whatever is name his, should concentrate on doing male modeling and stop his acting carrer right now...he sux at everything in this movie.He is not Duke material...he has about 3 face in his repertoire.


I didnt like the Zartan character at all....Zartan aint a blood thirsty maniac and this is what they made him in the movie..Dont like the actor eighter.

Actors playing Baroness is ok...Destro is ok......But the whole plot about her being with Duke is stupid.Her real love is Destro.Again big fail.

Cobra Commander costume is pure caca.Only thing I like was the voice the actor took to sound like the Evil cobra leader .And he could have look the part too, but , the costume kills everything about the charater.

Ray park as Snake eyes is really a Fail too.Too small, doesnt have charisma...doesnt look bad ass enough..and again ,ridiculous costume.


THE ONLY THING I ENJOYED ABOYUT THIS MOVIE: Storm-Sadow, he's the real Bad ass here.Forget Snake eyes.The actor playing him was great casting.If only the plot was better.


In retrospect, I think if you were a real fan of the Joe Mythos(mostly the comics) and grew up in the 80's you will definitely see this movie as one big turd. Like I did.People enjoying this must be too dumb for me to ever talk to them again..so please identify yourself so I can put you on ignore.

Thank you.

 

[IrishJedi]

According to the movie adaptation comic SS didn't do it. The movie certainly didn't make it clear. There's room for the sequel to still reveal that he joined with Cobra to find his uncle's true killer.

We did see Zartan impale Cover Girl through the back which is the same way the HM died. It might not be quite as far from Hama's version as you guys are making it out to be.

Hmm... maybe you're right. The problem is, the movie is not nearly smart enough (at any time) for me to assume it would have that kind of subtlety in it anywhere.

Still... my problem with Storm Shadow in the movie is the same as with RESOLUTE: he's one-dimensionially evil, and that's not the SS from Hama's arc, at all. He was tortured, torn, and ultimately revealed to be someone who was good natured and honorable.

 

[devlinboy]

I was going to see this in theaters, but decided to netflix it one day. No reason to pay $13 just to be mad when i leave. The one plus of ROC is that all of the people are buying the ROC action figures and i have been able to pick up a bunch of 25th army builders cheap recently. and my vintage figures went way up!!!

 

[Sithlord1975]

Spoiler - poo

Remedy - District 9

 

[IrishJedi]

Spoiler - poo

Remedy - District 9

That's basically it in a nutshell.

 

[Valfar]

LMAO!

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[the angry orc]

Spoiler - poo

Remedy - District 9

where is the district 9 thread. i need to go find it so i can geek out appropriately and in the correct place.

 

[TOE]

Remedy - District 9

watching that tom. night at a screening. :chew

 

[hairlesswookiee]

Therefore we know that he didn't do it, since it wasn't on screen, which is perfectly on par with the comics (and Resolute, just a different case of hiring Zartan vs. not hiring Zartan), which i'm sure they'll get to in the sequels (to which you'll most likely wipe your ass with, since it's not Watchmen).

for such a "fan", you don't seem to remember much.

also, in the final conflict storm shadow says "When our master was killed, you took a vow of silence" he didn't say "When I killed our master, you took a vow of silence."
~~~ i really hope he didn't die either, that would really suck big time. he got hacked up, stabbed in the chest and fell into the icy water....but i think his jedi ninja skills helped him survive all of this while he pulled himself out and escaped to safety.

 

[hairlesswookiee]

watching that tom. night at a screening. :chew

keep me posted if you like it. i'm not jumping for joy over this, but i'm somewhat interested in seeing it.

 

[EVILFACE]

The Worm has spoken.

This movie sucks.

 

[Khev]

The Worm has spoken.

This movie sucks.

It all comes down to what your deal breakers are. ROC is basically Phantom Menace for GI Joe but with cooler 10 year olds and no John Williams.

 

[IrishJedi]

It all comes down to what your deal breakers are. ROC is basically Phantom Menace for GI Joe but with cooler 10 year olds and no John Williams.

And worse (adult) actors and FX.

 

[EVILFACE]

It all comes down to what your deal breakers are. ROC is basically Phantom Menace for GI Joe but with cooler 10 year olds and no John Williams.

From what I can tell, Phantom Menace blows GIJoe: TROC away.

 

[thenammagazine]

From what I can tell, Phantom Menace blows GIJoe: TROC away.

ROC made TMP look like an Academy Award contender for best picture, best actor, best supporting actor, best actress, best supporting actress...

 

[Sachiel]

Snake Eyes (who was named such because of two moles he had - one on each cheek)

WTF? Are you serious?

 

[Khev]

And worse (adult) actors and FX.

You got that right. I'd love to see a "Phantom Edit" of ROC that cuts Tatum and Wayans completely out of the picture.

From what I can tell, Phantom Menace blows GIJoe: TROC away.

On the one hand, yes it does. If you take almost any individual element (except the kids and the main enemy foot soldiers) TPM comes out on top pretty much straight across the board. But ROC was the more gratifying movie for me and I think it came down to ROC recognizing and utilizing its own strengths more than TPM did.

ROC ended more of its major sequences on high notes than than we saw in TPM.

 

[CelticPredator]

LOL Shai.

But still, the action was fun. I think I might check it out again at somepoint. Stoned of course.

Did you know Channing was a male stripper? Oh yes.