One of the problems with the idea that having a connection with another Force-sensitive being generates some kind of "Force frequency" between the two is that Vader didn't pick up anything from Leia (who he would clearly have a connection with) when interrogating her in ANH.
I think it's a cleaner explanation if Vader couldn't sense Leia's connection to him (or to the Force itself) because her full link with the Force hadn't been "switched on" yet. Otherwise, Vader comes off as too much of an oblivious fool; if not for failing to recognize Leia as his daughter, then at least for failing to detect her unusually-strong Force-sensitive nature. That's why I prefer to think of Force-users (like the Jedi) as having chosen to accept and sustain the Force as their ally. Like switching on that link, and keeping it going. That means that, theoretically, the connection can be switched off too - as Luke would have done in TLJ.
Being able to cut off from the Force would allow a Jedi to go "off the grid" and hide, if need be, from someone like Vader (who immediately sensed Obi-Wan on the Death Star - because Obi-Wan was still very much tapped into the Force, and had a signature that Vader recognized). This way, Vader not detecting Leia makes sense; his detecting Obi-Wan on the Death Star makes sense; Luke effectively keeping his whereabouts from Snoke and Kylo makes sense; and Rey not detecting Luke makes sense. The Force-sensitives like Luke and Leia could still be aided by the Force before linking themselves with it, but not symbiotically bound with it yet.
This concept would also provide an explanation for why Kenobi didn't introduce Luke to the Force much earlier during his upbringing on Tatooine: doing so would have put Luke "on the grid" and open the possibility of being noticed by Palpatine. And it still makes sense with Palpatine only becoming aware of Luke and his connection to Anakin after ANH (if we believe his conversation with Vader in ESB). I prefer explanations that make sense throughout the saga, and that don't come at the expense of certain things in the saga making less sense. The idea of Luke "cutting himself off from the Force" can work within the context of the whole saga, and even serve to help explain some logic gaps in the past.
