How do you protect your collection before you get married? Divorce can kill a hobby!

[BadMoon]

She needs that vacuum MUCH more than you do at this point.

Indeed sir. Well said.

 

[hairlesswookiee]

And she also told me I wouldn't be able to survive without her.

Loll...I've heard this line a couple times in the past. I always drop science on them by telling that I was doing perfectly fine before they showed up, and I'm fairly certain that I'd manage after they get dropped at the curb.

 

[SnakeDoctor]

Perhaps she meant she won't let you survive without her.

"You cannot survive without me!!"

Bang ...... Bang ..... bang, bang, bang, bang, bang ... click, click ... *pistolwhip*.

SnakeDoc

 

[316what]

My ex didnt want any of my crap

Did you get divorced because she was tired of your crap?

 

[Darth Cruel]

Wow. Am I mistaken or am I actually reading posts DEFENDING divorce.

I don't know about anyone else. But I don't really care about the legalities of marriage nor the religious aspects of it.

To me, marriage is a bond, a promise, a vow to the other person that you will be the single thing that they can count on all of their life.

Most importantly, it is your word. What makes it OK to go back on your word? Has it become chic to break a vow? Is that ethically correct, now?

Or am I completely missing some aspect of marriage that makes it OK to divorce, now.

 

[316what]

Wow. Am I mistaken or am I actually reading posts DEFENDING divorce.

I don't know about anyone else. But I don't really care about the legalities of marriage nor the religious aspects of it.

To me, marriage is a bond, a promise, a vow to the other person that you will be the single thing that they can count on all of their life.

Most importantly, it is your word. What makes it OK to go back on your word? Has it become chic to break a vow? Is that ethically correct, now?

Or am I completely missing some aspect of marriage that makes it OK to divorce, now.

What if she cheated on you and got knocked up by some doosh? Would that be an acceptable reason for you?

 

[Darth Snoopy]

Wow. Am I mistaken or am I actually reading posts DEFENDING divorce.

I don't know about anyone else. But I don't really care about the legalities of marriage nor the religious aspects of it.

To me, marriage is a bond, a promise, a vow to the other person that you will be the single thing that they can count on all of their life.

Most importantly, it is your word. What makes it OK to go back on your word? Has it become chic to break a vow? Is that ethically correct, now?

Or am I completely missing some aspect of marriage that makes it OK to divorce, now.

I feel the same way you do. My word is my bond...unfortunately this kind of thinking has become a thing of the past in today's society.

We have become a "throw away" society and marriage has been included with it.

Anyway that's JMO.

 

[LaMelnik]

What if she cheated on you and got knocked up by some doosh? Would that be an acceptable reason for you?

OR she could not let go of her family and instead of devoting herself to you and your kids, she constantly put her family first even though you tried like hell to give her the security and comfort she wanted.

 

[Darth Cruel]

What if she cheated on you and got knocked up by some doosh? Would that be an acceptable reason for you?

No it would not. And that is why people have to choose their mates with a great deal more care...IN MY OPINION.

I have been through a divorce. And I am re-married. Although I love my wife and would not trade her for the world, my own opinion is that divorcing my first wife is far and away the very worst act of betrayal I have ever performed.

I did not feel that way then because I did not place the impotance on a vow that I do now. My love for my current wife has made me understand that. But I wish I understood it before I married my first wife as I would not have married her. She was a good person and did not desrve my going in to the marriage light-heartedly.

So, actually, I guess I should be a little more understanding of those who take divorce more lightly than I do because I used to be one of them.

But I am certainly NOT anymore.

 

[Darth Cruel]

I feel the same way you do. My word is my bond...unfortunately this kind of thinking has become a thing of the past in today's society.

We have become a "throw away" society and marriage has been included with it.

Anyway that's JMO.

Far too true. I just wish people could see through the instant self-gratification to see the damage it does to our society in the long term.

 

[BadMoon]

Wow. Am I mistaken or am I actually reading posts DEFENDING divorce.

I don't know about anyone else. But I don't really care about the legalities of marriage nor the religious aspects of it.

To me, marriage is a bond, a promise, a vow to the other person that you will be the single thing that they can count on all of their life.

Most importantly, it is your word. What makes it OK to go back on your word? Has it become chic to break a vow? Is that ethically correct, now?

Or am I completely missing some aspect of marriage that makes it OK to divorce, now.

Please explain all that to my ex wife. I tried that route.

 

[Skiman]

Prenuptial Agreement

Pretty much

 

[Skiman]

Well if you go into a relationship that worried about if it's gonna fail, I think you should rethink getting married. I was with my fiance for a number of years before getting married. That whole time I made it painfully clear that while I might slow down on buying every collectible I want comics and movies are part of who I am. I have a good job, I drink rarely, don't smoke or have any bad habits I have to spend cash on. She understands that collecting and customizing are my "thing". While she don't get it, or understand it, she does understand it's something I like and in fact bought us tickets for the C2E2 back in April in Chicago for my birthday. As for a prenup, I think she'd leave me my stuff if we did separate, because 1. she doesn't understand the value of it, and 2. has no interest not even knowing who half the characters are. I know divorce gets messy and people don't think rationally during one, but stuff can be replaced, missing out on the right one in your life can't

Great post, that's exactly my situation as well.

Not that we talked about this all the time but the cat goes with me as well as along with all my collectibles, she wouldn't take those items away from me if things did go sour.

 

[King Darkness]

Did you get divorced because she was tired of your crap?

Thats a distinct possibility

 

[Skiman]

Been there and done that.

Married - All was good. Divorced - Judge ordered me to sell everything and give half of the $$$ earned to the Ex.

I had an amazing collection but she had a better lawyer and the judge was in a foul mood that day.

If you are that worried about your collection, then prenup and get insurance on it. This way she can't claim it in a divorce (only the stuff bought during the marriage).

If you do a prenup, list every single item on paper and attach it to that prenup. With the insurance, do the same but also make sure you list everything that was bought after getting married. This say you know what she can go after.

As others have said, if you are worried about your stuff before getting married, then maybe you should wait until it is not as important as the woman you want to spend your life with.

But make sure whoever you marry understands how important your collection means to you up front.

EX or FAIL!!!!!

 

[CombustedGremlin]

My key issue is that I talk to my girlfriend all the time about how valuable my collection is. She's still not interested, but sees how much I spend on it. Let's be honest though....there's a thin line between love and hate. At the point of divorce, it just seems like the other person goes out of their way to hurt you. In my case, that'd be dilliberately breaking up the collection.

Her folks are divorced and her dad is getting screwed over by her mom right now. Her dad bought a slick new car for my girlfriend, but it's in his name. Her mom wants the car as a cushy kick-back, apparently as stipulated in the divorce settlement and doesn't care less about my girlfriend. It's terrible how these divorces end up hurting not just the spouses, but the kids, too.

Considering this, I'm left to wonder if my girlfriend would be capable of being like her mom. She tells me all the time that she hates her and is nothing like her, but it still lingers in the back of my mind. She does have a temper, but what woman doesn't (am I right, fellas?) LOL

 

[Skiman]

Generally speaking, it isn't a good thing if you're looking for a smooth way out before you even start. I'm on board with the guy who said you may not be ready. Looking for an escape route in what should be a lifetime commitment doesn't bode well.

That being said, it depends somewhat on the marital property laws in the state you live in. (I am an attorney in Texas, but I don't do family law. Most of this is from a law school class about a decade ago. I got a B+, so you're looking at an 85%-correct answer here ... mileage may vary).

(1) In almost all cases, property that is owned by an individual before the marriage is considered separate property, and cannot be taken by the spouse if a marriage dissolves. The stuff you own before the marriage is yours. Gifts (either from her to you, or from someone else to you) are also separate property. However ... if she's really pissed off, marital property laws cannot stop her from smashing your crap with a hammer.

(2) Property acquired during the marriage with community funds are a different story entirely. You bought it with community funds .. what's yours is hers, and it can be divided according to marital property laws in a divorce (i.e. you could lose some or all of it).

The best tip is to marry someone you want to stay with for life. Makes the whole thing simpler.

SnakeDoc

If you go through a divorce, I honestly figure protecting your toys will be among your lesser concerns ... so I wouldn't worry that much about it. Aside from the emotional devistation, there are typically much more valuable assets to argue over ... not to mention custody of children.

Don't lose a good girl because you're scared she'll make off with your comic book collection ... and if you're gonna marry a lousy girl, then your comic book collection is the least of your worries.

SnakeDoc

Perhaps she meant she won't let you survive without her.

"You cannot survive without me!!"

Bang ...... Bang ..... bang, bang, bang, bang, bang ... click, click ... *pistolwhip*.

SnakeDoc

Awesome.

Skiman

And she also told me I wouldn't be able to survive without her.

Spoiler

Hi honey! New car, new women, DOUBLE DOWNS, Nat Light (ugh), and I'm currently packing to move into a house that I just bought. Guess I couldn't take care of myself after all.

Fixed that spoiler for yah

 

[King Darkness]

Wow. Am I mistaken or am I actually reading posts DEFENDING divorce.

I don't know about anyone else. But I don't really care about the legalities of marriage nor the religious aspects of it.

To me, marriage is a bond, a promise, a vow to the other person that you will be the single thing that they can count on all of their life.

Most importantly, it is your word. What makes it OK to go back on your word? Has it become chic to break a vow? Is that ethically correct, now?

Or am I completely missing some aspect of marriage that makes it OK to divorce, now.

Forced marriages that last forever with two miserable people are 100x worse than a divorce imo. Since my divorce I am much much happier, as is my ex. We see each other and talk with zero issues now. Her life is good, as is mine. Had we stayed together I have no doubt we would have ended up HATING each other. In a perfect world we would have been happy forever, but its not a perfect world. We had about 8 great years together, and a couple really horrible ones. I regret none of it, but it just wasn't meant to be. Why couples who hate each other stay together is beyond me. Why live like that?

The idea of marriage is a little whacky to begin with really. You are making a commitment to one person forever based on the person you know now. Whos to say what they, or you, will be like in 10, 20, 30 years down the road.

Anyway, its a moot point. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. Such is life.

 

[Darth Cruel]

Please explain all that to my ex wife. I tried that route.

Forced marriages that last forever with two miserable people are 100x worse than a divorce imo. Since my divorce I am much much happier, as is my ex. We see each other and talk with zero issues now. Her life is good, as is mine. Had we stayed together I have no doubt we would have ended up HATING each other. In a perfect world we would have been happy forever, but its not a perfect world. We had about 8 great years together, and a couple really horrible ones. I regret none of it, but it just wasn't meant to be. Why couples who hate each other stay together is beyond me. Why live like that?

The idea of marriage is a little whacky to begin with really. You are making a commitment to one person forever based on the person you know now. Whos to say what they, or you, will be like in 10, 20, 30 years down the road.

Anyway, its a moot point. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. Such is life.

Amen brother! It most certainly is not up to me to change it. I do feel agreat sense of disappointment, though, that instead of divorce being a last resort, so many people are preparing for it while they are planning the wedding, now. It just seems to me that that is starting the marriage off with a handicap.

 

[Skiman]

Forced marriages that last forever with two miserable people are 100x worse than a divorce imo. Since my divorce I am much much happier, as is my ex. We see each other and talk with zero issues now. Her life is good, as is mine. Had we stayed together I have no doubt we would have ended up HATING each other. In a perfect world we would have been happy forever, but its not a perfect world. We had about 8 great years together, and a couple really horrible ones. I regret none of it, but it just wasn't meant to be. Why couples who hate each other stay together is beyond me. Why live like that?

The idea of marriage is a little whacky to begin with really. You are making a commitment to one person forever based on the person you know now. Whos to say what they, or you, will be like in 10, 20, 30 years down the road.

Anyway, its a moot point. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. Such is life.

Wow King went deep, so much wisdom from a unlikely source...