How do you protect your collection before you get married? Divorce can kill a hobby!

[Darth Cruel]

l dont think so,we just have stupid marriage laws here.and it gets better,my buddy who twice my age hes 42 and anyway he has a large 6 acre acreage and a nice house his girlfriend lives with him for 3 years now and shes crazy and anyway when they break up she can take half his farm and there not even married, it doesnt matter if your married or not if your together for more then a year the same laws apply as marriage apparently,that what people keep telling him everyone is saying she will take everything, he just inherited the farm from his dad even tho he already lives there so we will see what will happen.

Are inheritances considered community property in Canada?

 

[Silent December]

**is feverishly writing down notes**

 

[F0RSAK3N]

Don't ever get married is my solution. It may not work for everyone but it works in Las Vegas!

 

[ChrisCJ99]

IMHO, I think a "prenump" type of conversation should always take place before making a big commitment.... Of course people never PLAN or EXPECT to divorce, but I have recently found out that people change after some time. Sometimes for good reason, sometimes unexpectedly. Either way, I think you should discuss it with your loved one before making the plunge. If you can't even get through THAT conversation before taking the dive, then you know it wasn't meant to be. And if you CAN, then best of luck to you mate

 

[Darth Cruel]

IMHO, I think a "prenump" type of conversation should always take place before making a big commitment.... Of course people never PLAN or EXPECT to divorce, but I have recently found out that people change after some time. Sometimes for good reason, sometimes unexpectedly. Either way, I think you should discuss it with your loved one before making the plunge. If you can't even get through THAT conversation before taking the dive, then you know it wasn't meant to be. And if you CAN, then best of luck to you mate

Although I will not dispute that two people talking about a pre-nup while they are to be married takes a certain level of comfort in the strength of the relationship, I fell that focusing on that aspect glosses over the fact that a pre-nup conversation turns even a tiny bit of the focus away from the success of the marriage and turns it toward making the failure of the marriage a little easier. And THAT aspect would actually make me wonder about the level of comfort in the relationship, and, in turn, the commitment to the marriage.

I don't mean to be insulting, but I do wonder how old some of you guys are. It seems to me that when I have had similar conversations face-to-face with other people, it was generally (not always) the younger ones who took the more protective (Edit - And by protective, I mean protective of themselves as opposed to protective of the marriage) approach to marriage. And this has caused me to wonder if this is an evolution in the intention of a marriage, or if it just younger people not being taught the seriousness of the commitment and having to learn it by themselves as they get older as I feel is my case.

 

[jonny88]

IMHO, I think a "prenump" type of conversation should always take place before making a big commitment.... Of course people never PLAN or EXPECT to divorce, but I have recently found out that people change after some time. Sometimes for good reason, sometimes unexpectedly. Either way, I think you should discuss it with your loved one before making the plunge. If you can't even get through THAT conversation before taking the dive, then you know it wasn't meant to be. And if you CAN, then best of luck to you mate

well if you tell you fiance you want a prenup then there is a possibility there will be no wedding.women freak out when you bring that up.

 

[quadcent]

l dont think so,we just have stupid marriage laws here.and it gets better,my buddy who twice my age hes 42 and anyway he has a large 6 acre acreage and a nice house his girlfriend lives with him for 3 years now and shes crazy and anyway when they break up she can take half his farm and there not even married, it doesnt matter if your married or not if your together for more then a year the same laws apply as marriage apparently,that what people keep telling him everyone is saying she will take everything, he just inherited the farm from his dad even tho he already lives there so we will see what will happen.

i think your buddy better get a lawyer cause she is only intitled to 1/2 of what the farm/acerage has increased in value since they've been together. so he should still get away with most of the assests up to this point. now if there's kids involved then it starts to get blurry, since judges are now starting to compensate for that, anotherward the kids lifestyle cannot change from what they're use to. so anyone that marrys or shacks up with a lady that has kids from a previous relationship will find themselves paying for them kids also when they seperate, even though the kids are not his to begin with.

also she is intitled to 1/2 of any income or networth increase while they've been together not including the land. the only time they should be getting any of the previously own assests is when the person cannot afford to pay for the moneys owing.

i recall what Bates said in the movies once "an accident can be an unhappy wifes be friend"
well that can work both ways

 

[jonny88]

i think your buddy better get a lawyer cause she is only intitled to 1/2 of what the farm/acerage has increased in value since they've been together. so he should still get away with most of the assests up to this point. now if there's kids involved then it starts to get blurry, since judges are now starting to compensate for that, anotherward the kids lifestyle cannot change from what they're use to. so anyone that marrys or shacks up with a lady that has kids from a previous relationship will find themselves paying for them kids also when they seperate, even though the kids are not his to begin with.

also she is intitled to 1/2 of any income or networth increase while they've been together not including the land. the only time they should be getting any of the previously own assests is when the person cannot afford to pay for the moneys owing.

i recall what Bates said in the movies once "an accident can be an unhappy wifes be friend"
well that can work both ways

well the land id what worth big money about half a mill, the house isnt worth much kind of run down.shes not a good women either always freaking out on him of he looks at another women she then accuses him of having sex with her and thats why hes looking at her,and she blew all his money he is now broke and in debt big time,but they will break up eventually,but in the end its all his doing.no one like her but him and we all tell him to get rid of here but he wont so its his problem with what the outcome may be. what everyone else is saying is wrong about just staying together and not getting married because in the end its basically the same married or not.

 

[Silent December]

I don't mean to be insulting, but I do wonder how old some of you guys are. It seems to me that when I have had similar conversations face-to-face with other people, it was generally (not always) the younger ones who took the more protective (Edit - And by protective, I mean protective of themselves as opposed to protective of the marriage) approach to marriage. And this has caused me to wonder if this is an evolution in the intention of a marriage, or if it just younger people not being taught the seriousness of the commitment and having to learn it by themselves as they get older as I feel is my case.

I'm 33 and I think the concept of marriage in today's day in age is obsolete. Nowadays it seems to be more beneficial financially being married then not to be. I admire you're resolute on Marriage DC. I would imagine that all marriages start out with good intentions and love but what happens when that goes south? I agree that going into marriage, one should be aware of the commitment, sacrifice and work that goes along with it, but honestly how many of us knew that the first time around? not very many I think.

I don't know one married person who doesn't say "if I knew then what I know now" regarding marriage, the problem then becomes "Ok, what's done is done and this isn't working out. She's miserable and I'm miserable" should people just stay together although miserable to honor wedding vows? to what end?

 

[Darth Cruel]

I'm 33 and I think the concept of marriage in today's day in age is obsolete. Nowadays it seems to be more beneficial financially being married then not to be. I admire you're resolute on Marriage DC. I would imagine that all marriages start out with good intentions and love but what happens when that goes south? I agree that going into marriage, one should be aware of the commitment, sacrifice and work that goes along with it, but honestly how many of us knew that the first time around? not very many I think.

I don't know one married person who doesn't say "if I knew then what I know now" regarding marriage, the problem then becomes "Ok, what's done is done and this isn't working out. She's miserable and I'm miserable" should people just stay together although miserable to honor wedding vows? to what end?

Obsolete? What has it been replaced with? What family structure has proved itself to be more effective than the traditional man/woman/kids structure?

I am quite certain that every single couple in the world can find reason to split up. But what message is better to send to children? That failure is OK by letting them see the constant excessive abandonement of marriages or that perseverance, dedication, and unselfishness can have rewards?

So far, in all of my experience, I have seen very little true justification for the desolution of marriage. Most of the argument has been little more than rationalization of people's desire to selfishly endulge themselves. And I am certainly not against some selfish endulgence, but my opinion is that people should get that out of their systems before they get married.

 

[jonny88]

I'm 33 and I think the concept of marriage in today's day in age is obsolete. Nowadays it seems to be more beneficial financially being married then not to be. I admire you're resolute on Marriage DC. I would imagine that all marriages start out with good intentions and love but what happens when that goes south? I agree that going into marriage, one should be aware of the commitment, sacrifice and work that goes along with it, but honestly how many of us knew that the first time around? not very many I think.

I don't know one married person who doesn't say "if I knew then what I know now" regarding marriage, the problem then becomes "Ok, what's done is done and this isn't working out. She's miserable and I'm miserable" should people just stay together although miserable to honor wedding vows? to what end?

your right,and its amazing when you look at old people who have been married for 50 or 60 years that pretty incredible.here is a good example of a bad wedding decision.one of my best friends got married last year.he dated the girl for 2 years just like everyone else does,then they each wanted to move away from home and move in together to deepen there relationship. he was 20 and she was 18.then her parents freaked out and said she will not live with him unless they are married because the are religious, so they were engaged for 3 months then they had the wedding.l mean thats way to fast how can you marry someone when you havent even lived with them yet, thats just crazy.he also works with her and her parents so they see each other all day everyday so they will all get sick of each other soon.ill give them 4-5 years and 1 has passed already.

 

[FanGirlCollector]

OK...I've got a serious question for everybody. I know alot of collectors here are married. I'm not. I'm at the age where I'm considering getting serious. My concern is that I have a HUGE collection of comics, action figures, statues, DVDs, and other geek-related goodness. How the heck do you go about protecting your collection if things ever went sour in a marriage? I honestly dread the idea that if I had to get a divorce, the ex would be entitled to half my stuff. Good God, I have customs and a ton of irreplacable items. I know about prenuptial agreements, but am not sure how well they hold up. Also, how the hell do I protect my collection when I add new stuff AFTER getting married? This is a major hiccup for me and I'd love to hear what fellow collectors have to say.

Thanks gang!

Sincerely,

Your friendly neighborhood Gremlin

Prenup. If only to protect your collection. if she loves you, she'll sign it

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Well Fear 666, not that I'm married but I'm 29. As some may know already, I was EXTREMELY close to becoming engaged to the wrong person recently. We were together for 4 years, and when it came time to get more serious, and possibly move away from home she bailed and ran off with another man....

So for me, I'm actually not sure if I WOULD have the "pre nump" conversation. I think the "right" girl for me would be more than comfortable discussing it with me, just to play it safe. But I dunno, that's a touchy subject. I do remember having a convo with my recent ex during our relationship basically stating "Oh, we'd NEVER do anything to hurt each other......" She proclaimed "I love you too much to EVER hurt you". Then when things went south for the last year, all the things she said before had CONVENIENTLY slipped her memory, and she proclaimed "I never said that"..... So it just comes to show, people may proclaim to have eternal good intentions for their significant other, but when the flame dies the only person they really want to cater to is themselves.

Bottom line, I'd casually mention it to your lady. And if you guys can casually discuss it and the time comes, sign a paper to legalize it. Either way, just treat each other right. I hate to hear about people doing just unbelievably hurtful things to another person (taking their money, kids, running off with another man). Honor and respect should be an unspoken mandate when you've put so much time and love into someone...... That's my hippy speech for the day .................

 

[jonny88]

Well Fear 666, not that I'm married but I'm 29. As some may know already, I was EXTREMELY close to becoming engaged to the wrong person recently. We were together for 4 years, and when it came time to get more serious, and possibly move away from home she bailed and ran off with another man....

So for me, I'm actually not sure if I WOULD have the "pre nump" conversation. I think the "right" girl for me would be more than comfortable discussing it with me, just to play it safe. But I dunno, that's a touchy subject. I do remember having a convo with my recent ex during our relationship basically stating "Oh, we'd NEVER do anything to hurt each other......" She proclaimed "I love you too much to EVER hurt you". Then when things went south for the last year, all the things she said before had CONVENIENTLY slipped her memory, and she proclaimed "I never said that"..... So it just comes to show, people may proclaim to have eternal good intentions for their significant other, but when the flame dies the only person they really want to cater to is themselves.

Bottom line, I'd casually mention it to your lady. And if you guys can casually discuss it and the time comes, sign a paper to legalize it. Either way, just treat each other right. I hate to hear about people doing just unbelievably hurtful things to another person (taking their money, kids, running off with another man). Honor and respect should be an unspoken mandate when you've put so much time and love into someone...... That's my hippy speech for the day .................

that was a good hippy speech.but in the end you never really no someone 100%.and your right when she loves you its all about the two of you, but once shes done with you and has no more feeling its all about them and what they can take you for that will benefit them, men or women.me im only 22 and marriage is no were in my future but when l find someone l love l will take care of her and spoil her,not to much tho that can back fire , but if things then go south l will make sure shes taken care of,but l will make sure l take care of my self and l dont get hosed,and you can do that by being shady like l stated before,but that ALL depends on how shes acting in the end.you can decide to have a good honest divorce or the bad kind wich is basically trying to rob the other. like my dad told me theres thing you can do to protect your self.

 

[daikkenaurora]

Question: How do you protect your collection before you get married?

Answer: A gun with plenty of bullets

 

[ArmoredFoe]

yeah all this marriage talk...beleive me I was with my girlfriend for 11yrs before I finally said ok lets do it. Take it from me, you better make sure your ready because no matter what people say its totally different once you say "I do". Some how the dynamic changes things. I finally got married when I was 29, Im 31 now and so far things are still going good, not saying we dont have our good days and our bad ones, but again thats just part of being with someone and getting married.

 

[tigerknight]

are u serious daik, a marriage is all about both parties being able to communicate and understand each other. Having a gun weakens the relationship and makes the issues bigger. As for the question you need to tell your squeeze that she has to respect your property, you worked hard for that collection and it is your part not hers. If you bought before the marriage your good, its after that kills everyone.

 

[Silent December]

Obsolete? What has it been replaced with? What family structure has proved itself to be more effective than the traditional man/woman/kids structure?

I am quite certain that every single couple in the world can find reason to split up. But what message is better to send to children? That failure is OK by letting them see the constant excessive abandonment of marriages or that perseverance, dedication, and unselfishness can have rewards?

So far, in all of my experience, I have seen very little true justification for the dissolution of marriage. Most of the argument has been little more than rationalization of people's desire to selfishly indulge themselves. And I am certainly not against some selfish indulgence, but my opinion is that people should get that out of their systems before they get married.

Again Cruel, I admire your view on marriage, unfortunately in my personal experience it's not quite so black and white. Marriage is supposed to be about respect right? trust? and love? what if all of that goes away? should someone stay in that situation just to keep the marriage alive? How is wanting peace between spouse's selfish? I mean what's the breaking point?

Believe me, I wish things were to work out, but I feel like we've tried everything and so far nothing has improved the relationship. Not understanding or counseling. I never though my marriage would become a statistic but i don't see things improving.

 

[Devil_666]

they were engaged for 3 months then they had the wedding.l mean thats way to fast how can you marry someone when you havent even lived with them yet, thats just crazy.

I married my Wife May 1, 2002 which was like a month and a half after we started dating and about 3 months after we first met. Never lived together and didn't move in to our first apartment until the day we were married. We have a 7 year old son and we're still doing great together. So we must be the exception to the rule!?

IMO.. whether or not you live with someone first is irrelevant. The most important thing is sex. I told my Wife flat out if we would've never had sex I never would've married her. To me.. THAT'S what I find crazy; people getting married without having sex first.

Some people are just not compatible when it comes to sex. And I think it would be better to find that out BEFORE making a lifelong commitment.

 

[jonny88]

I married my Wife May 1, 2002 which was like a month and a half after we started dating and about 3 months after we first met. Never lived together and didn't move in to our first apartment until the day we were married. We have a 7 year old son and we're still doing great together. So we must be the exception to the rule!?

IMO.. whether or not you live with someone first is irrelevant. The most important thing is sex. I told my Wife flat out if we would've never had sex I never would've married her. To me.. THAT'S what I find crazy; people getting married without having sex first.

Some people are just not compatible when it comes to sex. And I think it would be better to find that out BEFORE making a lifelong commitment.

for sure, l wouldnt marry a chick either unless l new we connected in the bedroom.but the not living together first is risky.thats were you find out the person habits good or bad.but good luck to you,if its going good so far then thats a good sign.