How to deal with the loss of a child

[Boba Ben]

I'm dealing with something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy and it's been the worst thing I've ever had to go through in my entire life.

My two month old niece is going to die. They airlifted her to Milwaukee after she stopped breathing and she's in the children hospital hooked up to machines that are keeping her alive. There are some kind of aggressive growths on her spine and they could try to remove the one that is putting pressure on her brain and stopping the breathing, but the doctors say that these growths will continue and surgery on her spine will almost certainly take away any quality of life that she might have and the growths could likely come back and kill her anyway.

I never thought something like this would happen and I just feel so helpless. It's been so hard on my family and I've tried to seek comfort in friends, but there's nothing they can really do or say to fix this. I've been trying to stay strong and do normal things as best as I can, but I feel like everything I do is wrong. I feel like posting this here is wrong, but I had to let it out in some way and when I'm talking to my family and friends, it breaks my heart to talk in depth about this with them as it's just so painful for everybody, so I keep a lot of it inside.

My brother and his wife are going to have to make a decision that I cannot imagine going through. There was so much I wanted to do with my niece and show her in life that I won't be able to.

I just don't know what to do. I think I might stay away from here for a little while. I don't feel right about anything at the moment. Posting about Hot Toys doesn't seem to matter right now.

 

[JosephCPR]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Boba. So sorry you are going through this situation.

 

[turtlepower73]

hi,
my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this very tough moment.
just stay strong and be there for them.

 

[BadMoon]

That's horrible. My thoughts are with you and your family.

 

[KitFisto]

I'm sorry to hear this. Like you said there isn't anything anyone can say to make it better. I'm sorry.

 

[Mr. EcKo]

Sorry to hear such a sad story Ben.

I too lost my nephew when he was 11 years old , he was hit by a train . I'm not going to get into it further but ...

I can tell you this , its hard and tough to go through , but you do in time start to get over it .

I can honestly say there isn't a day goes by where i don't think about him and think about who he would become .

The worst part of my story is that he died the day after my birthday which is next Sunday . Its rough.

So Ben , just stay strong , hang onto the memories that you have of her now . Its tough but keep your loved ones around you in times like this .

The best thing for you is the company of others
It will help you keep you mind off it and if you do need that shoulder , its there brother.

Again , sorry to hear about this , stay strong , my prayers are with you man

Mike

 

[karamazov80]

I'm sorry Ben. I have never been through anything like that, so I can't pretend to have any useful advice, but I know that bottling things up only tends to make things worse for me. Maybe exercise and meditation could release some of the stress and to give you some constructive alternatives to dwelling on this all the time. Really sucks to hear this.

 

[The Josh]

Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

[Lejuan]

I don't know what to say other than just keep going, get through this day and when tomorrow comes, get through that as well. I'm so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones.

 

[Nitro]

You know Ben. A close friend of mine from High School and her husband lost their daughter a couple of weeks after their daughters birth. It's a nightmarish situation that I don't wish upon anybody and it's especially devastating for the parents. You never will get over a childs death no matter what age they may be. I know I was absolutely gutted when I received news of my friends daughter. I can only imagine what you are going through knowing that this baby is your niece.

The best thing you can do right now is to support your brother and his wife as much as you possibly can during this time. It's an extremely painful & traumatic thing that they are going through right now that not many people experience. My prayers go out to you, your Brother, your Sister In Law, and the rest of your family. It's going to be a rough road ahead....so stay strong, set your priorities, and hope to see you back on the Freaks board at some point.

 

[Balsquat]

Sorry to hear Ben. Stick by your brother, as I can't imagine how you both will get through this alone. Your family is in my prayers.

 

[DarkAveng3rX]

Stay strong! My prayers are with you and your family members.
GOD bless you all!

 

[The Ween]

I'm dealing with something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy and it's been the worst thing I've ever had to go through in my entire life.

My two month old niece is going to die. They airlifted her to Milwaukee after she stopped breathing and she's in the children hospital hooked up to machines that are keeping her alive. There are some kind of aggressive growths on her spine and they could try to remove the one that is putting pressure on her brain and stopping the breathing, but the doctors say that these growths will continue and surgery on her spine will almost certainly take away any quality of life that she might have and the growths could likely come back and kill her anyway.

I never thought something like this would happen and I just feel so helpless. It's been so hard on my family and I've tried to seek comfort in friends, but there's nothing they can really do or say to fix this. I've been trying to stay strong and do normal things as best as I can, but I feel like everything I do is wrong. I feel like posting this here is wrong, but I had to let it out in some way and when I'm talking to my family and friends, it breaks my heart to talk in depth about this with them as it's just so painful for everybody, so I keep a lot of it inside.

My brother and his wife are going to have to make a decision that I cannot imagine going through. There was so much I wanted to do with my niece and show her in life that I won't be able to.

I just don't know what to do. I think I might stay away from here for a little while. I don't feel right about anything at the moment. Posting about Hot Toys doesn't seem to matter right now.

I'm so sorry about this. There really isn't anything that anyone can do, but you'll know what to do when the time comes. You'll just know. And it's better to talk about it, though it's hard. Men tend to shy away from that and you shouldn't.

As for posting, it helps. When my father died it helped me to post on my message boards and to do things I normally did.

Big hugs to you!

 

[pixletwin]

Terrible. Nightmare. All you can do is be there for each other.

 

[AllisonAmy]

I am so sorry for you and the rest of your family.

 

[UTtoyfan]

I can't imagine what you are going through. All my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

 

[wofford29]

Horrible. Thoughts to her family.

 

[barryo]

sorry to hear that ben..........all i can recommend is to keep talking to your family & never be afraid that you are talking about her too much. communication is a key to healing.

 

[sithjedi171]

I have three little ones. They mean everything to me. I can't imagine...

May God give you and your family strength.

 

[Fives]

im terribly sorry you are going through this, prayers for you and your family.