Kids Say the Darndest Things

[AllisonAmy]

LOL!


My daughter gave me a yellow, rubber bracelet with her name on it, but she told me that I have to take it off at night so it doesn't work it's way from my wrist to my neck and strangle me in my sleep.

I have heard that the yellow ones are especially deadly.

 

[Uncanny Web-Slinger]

I had my nephews up this last weekend and the youngest, Felix (5) had us in stitches with the things he came out with.

He called to me "mark come in here, i need you"

I replied "i'll be in, in just a minute"

A few seconds later he said "mark, i don't here your feet moving"

His brother was getting some websites up for him.

He yelled "No Riley, go back to that one"

Riley said "alright i was just showing you this one, Jesus!!"

And he replied "I don't like Jesus"

Aother time he said "Riley are you playing Tom & Jelly"

 

[Darth Cruel]

I had my nephews up this last weekend and the youngest, Felix (5) had us in stitches with the things he came out with.

He called to me "mark come in here, i need you"

I replied "i'll be in, in just a minute"

A few seconds later he said "mark, i don't here your feet moving"

His brother was getting some websites up for him.

He yelled "No Riley, go back to that one"

Riley said "alright i was just showing you this one, Jesus!!"

And he replied "I don't like Jesus"

Aother time he said "Riley are you playing Tom & Jelly"

LOL...you better move your ass, next time.

 

[AllisonAmy]

I had my nephews up this last weekend and the youngest, Felix (5) had us in stitches with the things he came out with.

He called to me "mark come in here, i need you"

I replied "i'll be in, in just a minute"

A few seconds later he said "mark, i don't here your feet moving"

His brother was getting some websites up for him.

He yelled "No Riley, go back to that one"

Riley said "alright i was just showing you this one, Jesus!!"

And he replied "I don't like Jesus"

Aother time he said "Riley are you playing Tom & Jelly"

 

[Darth Cruel]

My 7-year-old daughter tripped and fell, scraping up her knees and hands.

When I asked her if she was alright, she wiggled her thumbs and said she hurt her texting thumbs.

 

[Bucky Underbelly]

Many years ago, when I was in college, I used to work as a camp counselor during the summers. One afternoon, I could tell one of my kids (an adorable little eight-year-old named Amy) had something weighing heavily on her mind. She'd been quietly stewing for hours, her brow knotted, clearly terribly perplexed. The weight of the world on her little shoulders.

"What's the matter Amy?"

She looked up, with the most serious face, and asked: "Why don't wood stoves burn?"

"Honey, wood stoves are stoves that burn wood. They're not made of wood."

And it was like somebody flipped a switch. She instantly lit up. "Okay!" And she darted off to play soccer as though her hours of existential angst never happened!

 

[Uncanny Web-Slinger]

My 7-year-old daughter tripped and fell, scraping up her knees and hands.

When I asked her if she was alright, she wiggled her thumbs and said she hurt her texting thumbs.

 

[toylion]

My four year old Granddaughter watches as I get ready for work and asked me, "Grandpa you going to work to kill monsters?"
She's seen me playing Xbox.

 

[devilof76]

You told her yes, right?

 

[AllisonAmy]

I believe in monsters.

That's a nice picture, toylion.

 

[devilof76]

Shoot 'em.

 

[Darth Cruel]

My four year old Granddaughter watches as I get ready for work and asked me, "Grandpa you going to work to kill monsters?"
She's seen me playing Xbox.

LOL...no zombies at Toylion's house.

 

[toylion]

You told her yes, right?

Of course I did, if you seen some of the guys I deal you'd believe in monster's too.

I believe in monsters. '
That's a nice picture, toylion.

Thank Allison, they were going to Church as I was headed to work.!

 

[AllisonAmy]

The 6 year old used "evaluated" in context, the other day. They never cease to surprise me.

 

[thenammagazine]

The 6 year old used "evaluated" in context, the other day. They never cease to surprise me.

I felt the same way when my 2-year-old dropped an F-bomb after smashing his hand!

This was before getting blamed for it's usage.

 

[AllisonAmy]

Me: Did you guys brush your teeth, yet?

Youngest: Yes. We're serious. Call Santa and see.

 

[Darth Cruel]

Me: Did you guys brush your teeth, yet?

Youngest: Yes. We're serious. Call Santa and see.

LOL...they know. They have you under control, now. They know the truth but they also know you can't let the cat out of the bag about Santa.


They'll be doing whatever they want, now.

 

[devilof76]

Either that or they have the existence of Santa so fully integrated into their world that it's only natural that their mom would have his number.

 

[Blackthornone]

I felt the same way when my 2-year-old dropped an F-bomb after smashing his hand!

This was before getting blamed for it's usage.

I wonder where they learned that word from?

 

[AllisonAmy]

LOL...they know. They have you under control, now. They know the truth but they also know you can't let the cat out of the bag about Santa.


They'll be doing whatever they want, now.

I am so screwed; she is always a step ahead of me.

Either that or they have the existence of Santa so fully integrated into their world that it's only natural that their mom would have his number.

My brother has Santa's number. I told him to call Santa when they were acting up, last year. The phone conversation they had was very convincing. I hope that works for at least one more year.