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You're assuming that The Purge was when Ben joined the Others. I think that they had been working together long before that, with Ben acting as their inside man amongst Dharma for many years. Throughout the 80's and up until '92, Ben (with young Ethan under his wing) still lived at the barracks, but had obviously been sneaking out at nights and building a relationship with Richard and friends. The two of them survived the purge due to their advance knowledge/cooperation and lived amongst the Others afterwards. But I think Ben chose sides and began a cooperative relationship with them all the way back in '77.
Ben was ready to join them after he was healed as a boy, but I have a feeling that Widmore dangled that carrot in front of Ben throughout many years worth of tests--"You can't join us until you spy on Dharma...and kill Rousseau and the baby. OK, now you can't join us until you kill your father." In fact, I think that Widmore's relationship with Ben mirrors Ben's own treatment of Locke as he was strung along and tested before his acceptance into the Others. (And both Widmore and Ben ended up losing their position of authority to the newcomer.)
I like your theory about why Ben was stringing Locke along, it explains why Ben hated Widmore so much. But that would mean Rousseau and crew crashed on the island while DHARMA was still active. it seems odd that they could have explored so much of the island without being caught. I'm sure they were trudging around the jungle for at least a week or so.