Of all the social justice/woke horseshit/cancel culture/nerd outrage/raping my childhood ********, this weekend was the straw that broke the camel's back for me.
I'm just....I'm so tired. It's exhausting. This constant back and forth bitching and bickering like literal 5 year old children in the backseat on a long road trip.
Out of curiosity, I attempted to watch this controversial cartoon. I turned it off after a few minutes, for a few reasons.
Number one, it was terribly written.
Number two, the art was so ugly it looked like it was drawn as grotesquely as possible on purpose, and I don't mean the monsters. I mean Teela's sneering face.
And number three....the most important reason I turned this garbage off.....IT'S HE-MAN.
He-Man is DUMB. It's just patently DUMB to the core, as a concept. The only reason it exists is cause someone at Mattel got their hands on copious amounts of blow back in the 80s. They'd take a rip and say "no no no I got it....how about a guy that SPINS AROUND??" (snooooorrrrrttt) "wait wait wait....what about a guy whose ******* NECK gets longer??" (snooorrrrttt) "Yeaaah!! And how about a giant BUMBLEBEE MAN!!"
I had all the toys as a kid. I loved them. I played with them. I made up crazy adventures for these absurd figures in my head.
But even as a child I understood that the He-Man cartoon......SUCKED. It was garbage. It was beyond garbage. Transformers, Thundercats, Voltron, MASK....those all smoked He-Man. I'd only watch He-Man while I waited for the better cartoons to come on.
The only time He-Man was any good was the 15 minutes they were actually on Eternia in the 1987 movie.
Every other attempt to take this nonsense seriously has miserably failed. Cause how the hell can you take it seriously? The only thing worse than the stupid campy crap is taking that campy crap, like the cowardly tiger and the bumbling elf, and making it all GRIMDARK and SERIOUS. It doesn't work. This crap doesn't play as a straight concept.
Yet here we've had the arguments all weekend....the Wokies defending their beloved bull **** Teela and saying that anyone that doesn't LOVE her is a ____ist/____phobe.....the usual. All the insults that mean nothing anymore cause they use them so much.
And on the other end, you've got your edgy edgelord nerds that are protecting the valued chastity and sanctity of their beloved childhood from being tainted by the queer agenda or whatever. (Not gonna lie...that's usual me. I'm almost always nodding my head with them, agreeing with it but afraid to say anything cause then everyone will call ME a ____ist/_____phobe.)
But not this time.
Not for ******* HE-MAN.
Come on people. Star Wars...Superman/Batman.....Marvel......I get it. That I get.
But He-Man?? That's the hill people wanna die on?
Just turn this **** off and read a book or something. Andy Weir's "Project Hail Mary" is absolutely incredible.
God I'm tired. I need to get the hell off the internet for a while.