MCU - Phase Four

[Victοr]

This has gotten really heavy. But its a wonderfully intelligent conversation. Burn-out sucks. But ZE is right, it doesn't last forever. It's like the sadness that follows a break-up. It only lasts until you find the next girl. The next hotter girl.

But what if it's there forever, because it's not a new feeling, per se? This "void" has always been in me, I just ignored it. Now, can I?

I'm now 45. In the last 25 years I've seen and experienced things I never imagined, accomplished things I didn't even know I wanted, and learned and grew and learned and grew until 45-year-old me is unrecognizable from 20-year old me, outside of some lingering tendencies regarding music and entertainment.

I discovered that there were some things I was right about, even back then, and mostly discovered myself.

I get that. People change, learn, grow. I've seen it all around me, I don't doubt that. I just doubt that I, specifically, can do that. People always said I was "hollow". It made me feel sad, because I never felt empty. If anything, I thought I felt too much compared to them. But maybe they're right. Maybe I'm just a broken piece of machinery.

There's a lot to see, and you have to be there. It's all experiential. I'm not talking down to your age, it's just a fact. In the longer term life is like an inside joke you have to be there for.

Oh, I'm not doubting that. That there aren't suprises left or things to experience. It's just that, the more time extends, the more milestones you miss, the more you just feel like as if you'll always have this emptiness inside of you. One of my earliest memories, is being told that "I'll never be happy or content". Eh, you play the card you're dealt with, I suppose. Not everybody's entitled to every good thing.

As much as it may seem that way, the whole planet isn't like that. You're describing aspects of modernity, but it's not evenly distributed.

I don't know, I don't see it that way anymore. I used to believe in cycles that come and go. The age old "every generationt hinks the next one is the end of the world" mindset. But this is new territory. The internet, cell phones, dating sites; they've changed the game. And as someone invested in science, in progress... I don't see the point of my endeavors anymore. "Progress" has come to mean recession. So what exactly am I "torturing" myself for? To cntribute a pebble that'll be discarded or abused?

 

[Wor-Gar]

This "void" has always been in me, I just ignored it. Now, can I?

There's ALWAYS hotter girl.

But if not, they do have meds for depression. Look how well Pete Davidson is doing on his. Look how poorly Kanye is doing not taking his.

 

[Victοr]

There are moments in everyone's life, where philosophy is all we've got. It tends to go up in value then. I'm not referring to formal studies. More of a human condition thing.

I suppose. I guess I just don't see the point in the "thinking" when it's time for "doing".

The world has changed. Not a bad thing.

Debatable. I won't pretend the past was a paradise, but the present is a hellish landscape with no signs of improvement. When I meet my follow "Architects Of Tomorrow" and all I get is Reddit, it's disheartening. I expected great ideas, even opposing views, but I get... nothing. I've grown up Christian Fundementalists performing Excorcisms, Patriotic Communists, Fascists and Globalists, so I'm used to back and forth, exchanges and opposing viewpoints. All of them influenced me on some level, and shaped my views, but I found nothing similar here.

Naah...you're not a 'failure' you're just inexperienced and exploratory. You have a lot more time than you think to figure all of that stuff out. Arguably your whole life, but at least 20 years.

I didn't mean failure like that. If anything, like my mother says, I'm too much of an egotist. I'm just a failure in face of the milestones I should've hit. True, certain things were out of my control, but it eats me up inside to be playing catch up. In a way it's interesting, it's more of an uphill battle.

That comes with experience.

I suppose that's true.

I've been in and out of Muay Thai since I was 22. Picked it back up again after a 3 year absence when I was 'too old to fight' and promptly spent the next 3 years fighting. That stuff lives in your bones and you can get it back when the time comes.

It's a great thing, exercise. It keeps the body and spirit alive. But

There will always be some kind of challenge within and without. And the older you get the higher the stakes get. The difference is that experience makes one more capable and at peace. Perspective really is everything.

I suppose. I know I'm coming off as a whiny brat who's having his first existential crisis or whatever, but it's not exactly that. I know who and what I am. I get how the world works. I guess I'm just impatient.

 

[Wor-Gar]

I know who and what I am. I get how the world works. I guess I'm just impatient.

Youth is wasted on the young.

 

[Victοr]

There's ALWAYS hotter girl.

True, but you're assuming that said hotter girl is interested in you/me/us. And what is hotness worth if it's not accompanied by something more? I've always had high standards, but I always judged a package. That's what gets me about the people out there. You see scrawny little nerds with blackened teeth. And yet they demand a "bit ***** *****". What the hell are they gonna do with a "bit ***** *****"? You see caked up whores demand their fun in the club and then a man of prestige to marry them. And I just cannot help but want to grab them both by their pencil necks, rip off their jaws and beat them to death with them. What happened to the fairy tales? What happened to wanting "more"? What happened to balance? What happened to "symbiosis"? Now it's all just carnal pleasure. But the funny thing is, the more dissapointing they are, in looks, brains and what have you, the more such "demands" they have. And I wonder, do they have no self awareness, is it a form of overcompensation, or do they simply have that much confidence and entitlement?

But if not, they do have meds for depression. Look how well Pete Davidson is doing on his. Look how poorly Kanye is doing not taking his.

Bah, I don't have depression. My grandma has depression, and it's nothing like that. I'm just a ****. Truth is, I'm just greedy, egotistical, and a whole lot of other nasty epithets, so I cannot come to terms with life's ups and downs. I need everything to be just the way I want it. I can control it in real life, I'm not that far gone yet. But nobody judges you on the internet, so... These walls of text are just venting. I pour a glass, put some sad music on and go at it. Don't take me that seriously. I see it as an excercise in behavior. I don't lie or anything like that, it's just that growing up the way I have, I've learned not to care that much about such things anymore.

 

[The Clown Prince of Crime]

You sound very ambitious and smart. Maybe you're too ambitious. A guy I knew in high school gave himself a heart attack because he was trying to do too much. He had all these goals, but he also put a lot of pressure on himself, and for what? I'm not saying you should be a flake and a slacker like me, but ...just take it easy. It's not a race. Do what makes you happy. That's what I do.

 

[ZE_501]

I suppose. I guess I just don't see the point in the "thinking" when it's time for "doing"

So go do as many things as you can, and see what sticks.

I suppose. I know I'm coming off as a whiny brat who's having his first existential crisis or whatever, but it's not exactly that. I know who and what I am. I get how the world works. I guess I'm just impatient.

Your inexperience is showing, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I’ll leave you with the one piece of advice I would go back in time and give myself:

“You don’t know what you think you know. Knowledge like that only comes with time.”

Certainty is not useful when you’re young. It will hold you back.

You can follow that advice but if you’re remotely like I was — you won’t.

But that’s okay too.



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[Victοr]

Youth is wasted on the young.

That's the thing about the present. You only appreciate it when it's the past. Or something like that, I heard it in a video once... I suppose it's true, but for different reasons. I think people focus too much on trivial things in their youths.

 

[Wor-Gar]

True, but you're assuming that said hotter girl is interested in you/me/us. And what is hotness worth if it's not accompanied by something more? I've always had high standards, but I always judged a package. That's what gets me about the people out there. You see scrawny little nerds with blackened teeth. And yet they demand a "bit ***** *****". What the hell are they gonna do with a "bit ***** *****"? You see caked up whores demand their fun in the club and then a man of prestige to marry them. And I just cannot help but want to grab them both by their pencil necks, rip off their jaws and beat them to death with them. What happened to the fairy tales? What happened to wanting "more"? What happened to balance? What happened to "symbiosis"? Now it's all just carnal pleasure. But the funny thing is, the more dissapointing they are, in looks, brains and what have you, the more such "demands" they have. And I wonder, do they have no self awareness, is it a form of overcompensation, or do they simply have that much confidence and entitlement?

Ah-ha. A nerve.

My "hotter girl" line was really more of a metaphor for whatever the next new thing is that captures you and inspires you. Your muse.

 

[Victοr]

You sound very ambitious and smart. Maybe you're too ambitious. A guy I knew in high school gave himself a heart attack because he was trying to do too much. He had all these goals, but he also put a lot of pressure on himself, and for what? I'm not saying you should be a flake and a slacker like me, but ...just take it easy. It's not a race. Do what makes you happy. That's what I do.

I've always believed that actions are the only thing that matter, so for the time being I feel like a huge discrace. But I suppose it'll change soon. I've got too much of a competition in me to let things get worse instead of better. As for "happiness", well, that we'll have to wait and see about.

So go do as many things as you can, and see what sticks.

Eh, that's not my problem. I'm not in search of a goal. I already know what I want, down a tee. My problem is trying to find the best way to achieve that.

Your inexperience is showing, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I’ll leave you with the one piece of advice I would go back in time and give myself:

“You don’t know what you think you know. Knowledge like that only comes with time.”

Certainty is not useful when you’re young. It will hold you back.

You can follow that advice but if you’re remotely like I was — you won’t.

But that’s okay too.

Oh, I certainly don't know "things" on a grand scale. I'm not some wise old man in a bookshop, or an experienced leader of men. I've just come to terms with myself, and know what I am, more or less. Now the question is how far I'm willing to go or sacrifice, and that's a whole another matter entirely. It has to do with mettle and fortitude, which haven't been seriously tested. But I supposed we'll see.

 

[Wor-Gar]

I'm not in search of a goal. I already know what I want, down a tee. My problem is trying to find the best way to achieve that.

That's always a scary proposition. It's also traumatic when you fail. But you have to try or you'll never know. Regret is worse than failure.

 

[Victοr]

Ah-ha. A nerve.

My "hotter girl" line was really more of a metaphor for whatever the next new thing is that captures you and inspires you. Your muse.

Yeah, I get it, I just needed to vent about those runts a bit. I mean, how can you be a 5'9" guy with black teeth and the mug of a 90s nerd, yet expect Dove Cameron to sit on your ****? Is it foolishness or bravery? It drives me nuts it does!

As for that "new" thing, I've honestly never had that on such terms. I wanted to buy the next shiny new collectible or game, but as far as goals go, I've always had the same one. Be a scientist/engineer and turn myself into a kick-*** cyborg. I've had it since... Well, as long as I can remember. I have long term goals and plans, I'm not looking for change. I just miss having that one hour of me time per day where I could relax with something silly. Looking forward to a new game or whatever. It was just fun. Now SDCC is ****, E3 is ****, everything is ****.

 

[Victοr]

That's always a scary proposition. It's also traumatic when you fail. But you have to try or you'll never know. Regret is worse than failure.

You're not getting me, but that's my fault. I'm trying to be vague and deep. I'm just struggling with trying to juggle too many subjects. I'm not a prodigy at anything, so my best shot at doing something important is trying to blend relevant sciences together. I'm studying physics, but Theoretical is a dead end, so I'll need to go into engineering. That's extremely overpopulated, so I'll need to merge that with biology. But that's worthless without some software experience/coding. And that's not even mentioning how the hell I get to keep the grades up (predetermined classes; all the biology/coding stuff I do in my free time and they play no role at Uni) in order to get accepted to a good Uni overseas for my PhD. So you can see the problem.

Anyhow, I'll stop now because it's 04:00 in the morning, and I've turned this whole thread into my blogpost. I hope it was as fun for you folks as if it was for me. Now excuse me, but I have to go to bed, hug my pillow and pretend it's Kathrine McNamara.

 

[Wor-Gar]

Great sign-off...

 

[The Clown Prince of Crime]

I was right. You're too ambitious.

 

[The Clown Prince of Crime]

Anyway, while I was at "work", I was thinking about two ways they can introduce the X Men into the MCU. One way is introducing the concept of mutants in the Eternals movie, which is close to the history of the mutants in the comics.
The second option is using the multiverse as a metaphor for illegal immigration, like the Alien Nation movie/show. Thousands of mutants are escaping their earth in search of a better life. Some are struggling to adapt, some hide their mutation from society. Some can't hide their mutation. Humans are divided on the issue of mutants, and so are the world governments. Prof X is a pacifist and Magneto a radical, both from a world that hated mutants. That's a way to avoid Magneto's age since he's a holocaust survivor.

 

[rushmore223]

Anyway, while I was at "work", I was thinking about two ways they can introduce the X Men into the MCU. One way is introducing the concept of mutants in the Eternals movie, which is close to the history of the mutants in the comics.
The second option is using the multiverse as a metaphor for illegal immigration, like the Alien Nation movie/show. Thousands of mutants are escaping their earth in search of a better life. Some are struggling to adapt, some hide their mutation from society. Some can't hide their mutation. Humans are divided on the issue of mutants, and so are the world governments. Prof X is a pacifist and Magneto a radical, both from a world that hated mutants. That's a way to avoid Magneto's age since he's a holocaust survivor.

I like it!

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[ironwez20]

This has gotten really heavy. But its a wonderfully intelligent conversation. Burn-out sucks. But ZE is right, it doesn't last forever. It's like the sadness that follows a break-up. It only lasts until you find the next girl. The next hotter girl.




Absolutely not. As I said, in a period where everything is produced, nothing thrives.

"Genius", "auteur", whatever -- a unique point of view will always be superior to the masses. Most people inherently like to follow. I don't know what that's all about, but its true. Kings and Dictators know it to be true. We here are allegiant to our favorite films. It's a terrible Lemming trait built into our genetic make-up. Fortunately for us, a few mutations happen every generation.

See this is strange. When I broke up with my first love they said move on and find a hotter girl. That **** is hard. It’s not just finding someone hotter but someone you can connect with emotionally

 

[Wor-Gar]

If it was easy, everyone would have a hottie.

 

[ironwez20]

If it was easy, everyone would have a hottie.

Lol sadly the world isn’t easy. That’s why we must keep pushing forward to gain better days