Paris Hilton hasn't done that many guys?

[The Mike]

Paris Hilton hasn't done that many guys
January 9, 2009

Because no sane person ever will, Paris Hilton is defending her own honor in the pages of Glamour where she claims to have slept with only a few guys and isn't a walking stick of promiscuity:

"I've only ever done it with a couple of people. People make up stories, but mostly I just kiss. I think it's important to play hard to get. Nobody wants the fake Prada bag - they want the brand new bag that no one can get and is the most expensive. If you give it up to a guy he won't respect you. He'll want you much more if he can't have you."

Okay, here's the part of the post where I equate Paris Hilton's vagina with one of those hazardous waste trashcans you see at the doctor's office, but instead, I'm going to open myself up a bit and share a little experience I just had. This is a 100% true story. Alright, deep breath, here goes: Last night, I had a dream about Paris Hilton.

In this dream I'm carrying Paris through at least five feet snow up to this cliff. As we're talking it turns out we were married at one point then quickly divorced, but now we're off to a condo on the beach to "rekindle our love," if you will. So, I'm carrying Paris and wading through all this snow to get to the top of the cliff which overlooks the ocean. There we'll jump off then swim to our destination. Except the snow starts getting really high and I lose my footing, trip and start getting buried in the snow. That's when I wake up.

I don't know if any of you guys are dream experts, but I have a tumor, don't I? Awesome.

So she is trying to pitch the angle that she is damn near virginal now???

 

[usswanker]

So she is trying to pitch the angle that she is damn near virginal now???

Wasnt that pretty much the same thing Brittany Spears said when she was a teenager? I remember reading something about how she lost her virginity when she was like 14 or something. Paris needs to drop the act and just become a cheap pornstar. Everyone can see its her true calling.

As for your dream.......WTF!?!

 

[Voorhees27]

Wasnt that pretty much the same thing Brittany Spears said when she was a teenager? I remember reading something about how she lost her virginity when she was like 14 or something. Paris needs to drop the act and just become a cheap pornstar. Everyone can see its her true calling.

As for your dream.......WTF!?!

Become? Well what the ^^^^ "was" she all this time?

 

[Bodie The Cursed]

I'd bang her

 

[usswanker]

Become? Well what the ^^^^ "was" she all this time?

A rich cheap pornstar?

She cant walk out in public without her ^^^^ falling out.

 

[Darth Caedus]

I'd bang her

You would need a penicillin shot afterwards, lots of them

 

[ProgMatinee]

Do people really find her visually attractive? I think she's just sickly thin and alien looking.

 

[Shropt]

File this under WHO ^^^^-ING CARES!!

 

[Scar]

Paris Hilton hasn't done that many guys
January 9, 2009
Okay, here's the part of the post where I equate Paris Hilton's vagina with one of those hazardous waste trashcans you see at the doctor's office, but instead, I'm going to open myself up a bit and share a little experience I just had. This is a 100% true story. Alright, deep breath, here goes: Last night, I had a dream about Paris Hilton.

In this dream I'm carrying Paris through at least five feet snow up to this cliff. As we're talking it turns out we were married at one point then quickly divorced, but now we're off to a condo on the beach to "rekindle our love," if you will. So, I'm carrying Paris and wading through all this snow to get to the top of the cliff which overlooks the ocean. There we'll jump off then swim to our destination. Except the snow starts getting really high and I lose my footing, trip and start getting buried in the snow. That's when I wake up.

I don't know if any of you guys are dream experts, but I have a tumor, don't I? Awesome.

So she is trying to pitch the angle that she is damn near virginal now???

I had a dream once that I was standing in a shower with Elizabeth Hasselbeck propped between myself and the wall. Then my girlfriend entered the room and shot her before beating me to death with a plunger. No lie. I am also resolved that I have a tumor.

 

[The Tuggernaut]

I think she's just sickly thin and alien looking.

 

[ProgMatinee]

There a lot of chicks I'd love to see in porn. Paris is not one of them. Jennifer Love Hewitt? Sign me up.

 

[The Tuggernaut]

There a lot of chicks I'd love to see in porn. Paris is not one of them. Jennifer Love Hewitt? Sign me up.

Oh god yes, there are a ton of 'em.
One of my favourites has to be Kate Beckinsale.

 

[Darth Loki]

I wonder what she considers 'that many'?

I know I haven't done 'that many' sex tapes that have 'accidentally' been released to the public.

 

[The Ween]

I saw the home movie or her and.....whatever his name is, and though she's pretty much bored throughout the movie, she certainly knows what she's doing. Believe me, she's done enough guys. She's not fooling anyone.

 

[CelticPredator]

File this under WHO ^^^^-ING CARES!!

Or file this under OTHER ^^^^ING TOPICS. Yanno? Topics that dont matter? Yeah. Okiedookie.

 

[The Mike]

I saw the home movie or her and.....whatever his name is, and though she's pretty much bored throughout the movie, she certainly knows what she's doing. Believe me, she's done enough guys. She's not fooling anyone.

I saw the home movie too and it was a real disappointment. I would be embarassed if I were her not to mention she gives......a favor for about 20 minutes with no return which means she is really really bad at it or he is just not that into her. Kim Kardashian on the other hand....that was a performance

 

[barryo]

I saw the home movie too and it was a real disappointment. I would be embarassed if I were her not to mention she gives......a favor for about 20 minutes with no return which means she is really really bad at it or he is just not that into her. Kim Kardashian on the other hand....that was a performance

that tape was made & released for one reason only..........

though im really thinking her 15 minutes are winding down.

 

[The Ween]

I saw the home movie too and it was a real disappointment. I would be embarassed if I were her not to mention she gives......a favor for about 20 minutes with no return which means she is really really bad at it or he is just not that into her. Kim Kardashian on the other hand....that was a performance

I like how she rarely took her eyes off the camera. She wasn't into it at all, just loving the attention of the camera...again.

I only saw parts of Kim K.'s tape. I like how she dolled herself up so she'd look good on camera.

 

[The Craw]

paris hasnt slept with that many guys???
i always assumed that doing paris would be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

 

[Darth Madden]

Do people really find her visually attractive? I think she's just sickly thin and alien looking.

Yeah, she looks good... If you like girls who have the body of a 12 year old boy.