Star Wars: Episode IX - THE RISE OF SKYWALKER

[Wor-Gar]

Dear George Lucas,

If by some miraculous quirk you ever read this, I just want to apologize. I'm sorry for all of the times that I ridiculed your prequel movies. I'm sorry for ever thinking that the Star Wars franchise would be better off in someone else's hands. I'm sorry that fans like me drove you away and made you resent the idea of continuing to be involved with the franchise.

I just watched . . .

Spoiler

a movie that actually had a plot device where a Jedi found a journey marker the same way that the Goonies once did. In this same movie, Sheev Palpatine used Force lightning so strong that it disabled an entire fleet of starships, and then seconds later had it blocked . . . by a lightsaber. I saw an OT TIE Fighter get pulled out of a character's ass and taken through hyperspace. And I witnessed some people applaud at the end of all of it.

I watched multiple characters using "Life Force" to heal and resurrect in such a casual way as if to suggest that every Force user that came before was stupid for not doing it in equally urgent circumstances. Luke was apparently stupid for not using it to save Anakin in ROTJ. Obi-Wan was stupid for not using it to save Qui-Gon. Anakin was stupid to not use it to save his mother. And he even turned to the dark side because he couldn't figure out what so many others seem to just be able to do as easily as passing gas. And I witnessed some people applaud at the end of all of it.

And I could go on . . . and on . . . and on . . .

Mr. Lucas if you also had to witness any of what I just did, you have my sincere sympathies. I'm sorry.

So true... a lesson in: be careful what you wish for.

 

[Asta]

THIS!

But thankfully, it is over. Its OVER!!! Now that's something for the Positivity Thread.

In two years, this will be barely spoken about. Maybe sooner, if Marvels upcoming failure's eclipse this debate.

Every cloud has a silver lining!

 

[Ehollywood]

Wow, after all the reviews - and discussion/views on this here - I am SO super excited to see it tomorrow (had to wait for the buds....)

I really had little excitement for this, but the opinions have been all over the place, so fascinated to see it.

I'm now more excited to see this than almost any SW movie in nearly 20 years (yes I was excited to see TPM, but nothing much since, other than RO.)

Watching it again tomorrow with coworkers.

 

[Wor-Gar]

TLJ (the best film on this trilogy); I truly hope you enjoyed this slop more than I did.

Well at least now you can sympathize with what others felt like after TLJ.

 

[The Clown Prince of Crime]

I feel bad for Mark Hamill. His film career went nowhere, but at least he could always say he was Luke Skywalker in the good SW trilogy. Now, Luke's legacy is a joke and Hamill is in arguably the worst SW trilogy.

 

[Mandible]

Well at least now you can sympathize with what others felt like after TLJ.

Very true - "shoe on the other foot."

 

[Prime Clone]

Dear George Lucas,

If by some miraculous quirk you ever read this, I just want to apologize. I'm sorry for all of the times that I ridiculed your prequel movies. I'm sorry for ever thinking that the Star Wars franchise would be better off in someone else's hands. I'm sorry that fans like me drove you away and made you resent the idea of continuing to be involved with the franchise.

I just watched . . .

Spoiler

a movie that actually had a plot device where a Jedi found a journey marker the same way that the Goonies once did. In this same movie, Sheev Palpatine used Force lightning so strong that it disabled an entire fleet of starships, and then seconds later had it blocked . . . by a lightsaber. I saw an OT TIE Fighter get pulled out of a character's ass and taken through hyperspace. And I witnessed some people applaud at the end of all of it.

I watched multiple characters using "Life Force" to heal and resurrect in such a casual way as if to suggest that every Force user that came before was stupid for not doing it in equally urgent circumstances. Luke was apparently stupid for not using it to save Anakin in ROTJ. Obi-Wan was stupid for not using it to save Qui-Gon. Anakin was stupid to not use it to save his mother. And he even turned to the dark side because he couldn't figure out what so many others seem to just be able to do as easily as passing gas. And I witnessed some people applaud at the end of all of it.

And I could go on . . . and on . . . and on . . .

Mr. Lucas if you also had to witness any of what I just did, you have my sincere sympathies. I'm sorry.

Well said, ajp! I already had a problem with it *without* considering any of that.

 

[Asta]

The missing link...

 

[Deedzy]

Went sailing the seven seas and watched this.

What a pile of ****. Anyway at least this horrible chapter is over and done with and when the dust settles it will be enjoyable to watch the dominoes fall at Lucasfilm and I remain hopeful that a leadership team that understands that there is a way to expand the universe whilst respecting what came before is installed.

What annoys me the most though is that TLJ basically ****ed any chance at a coherent story in the ass but it was made by the guy who made Knives out. A movie which I really enjoyed and is basically a homage to murder mystery movies but still original in it's own right. Makes it even more puzzling why he did what he did with TLJ.

 

[Captain Clown]

As someone who liked TFA and TLJ, this didn’t feel like a proper ending to this trilogy at all.

It felt like it was trying way too hard to be Endgame. I’m sad.

 

[SixthScaleEdward]

Is it weird that I find the best part to be

Spoiler

Hux saying he's the spy??

I thought it was a missed opportunity to make something fun and mind-blowing. Hux could've been a spy from the very beginning (hence the failures and a new meaning to the teary eye after firing starkiller canon, which could've been just him having no choice but to give the speech). Could've been radical character development and good recovery from the awkward mess he became in TLJ.

TROS instead quickly reverted back to him just seeking petty revenge after the events of TLJ, shortly before giving him an unceremonious exit.

 

[darth dennis]

Oh right, Star Wars is serious business around here.

We should all talk religion and politics for a nice break...


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[anwe]

All the TLJ fans feeling ****ed over by this film is so deeply ironic it should make me feel something, but I can't even do that. I guess I just don't care about these ****** movies anymore. I can't even muster a sense of schadenfreude which we all know is joy of the purest form.

What annoys me the most though is that TLJ basically ****ed any chance at a coherent story in the ass but it was made by the guy who made Knives out. A movie which I really enjoyed and is basically a homage to murder mystery movies but still original in it's own right. Makes it even more puzzling why he did what he did with TLJ.

About five minutes in watching TLJ I came to realisation that the people making this hated Star Wars and that feeling didn't go away for the entire movie. I'm convinced that Rian Johsons mommy didn't buy him a Luke Skywalker doll when he was little and this was his way to get back at all the kids that had Skywalkers and Solos to play with.

 

[Sachiel]

I'm convinced that Rian Johsons mommy didn't buy him a Luke Skywalker doll when he was little and this was his way to get back at all the kids that had Skywalkers and Solos to play with.

The film broke it's own back trying to appease every wrongheaded fan complaint from TLJ (the best film on this trilogy), and shakes out as heartless, bland, meaningless dreck.

Abrams did what he always does and bled all the context out of the film, deftly evading what few opportunities there were for interesting lore in this fan-fiction quality plot.

Congrats to everyone whose shrieking response to TLJ got this movie made; I truly hope you enjoyed this slop more than I did.

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[xipotec]

Backward RT score right now.

86% from Verified audience.
56% from critics.

Basic consensus, fun film , way too much to absorb in it.

Overall that kind of score usually means its a good, not great film.

We shall see Sunday.


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[TurdFurgusonsHat]

I feel bad for Mark Hamill. His film career went nowhere, but at least he could always say he was Luke Skywalker in the good SW trilogy. Now, Luke's legacy is a joke and Hamill is in arguably the worst SW trilogy.

It is too bad for Mark that he clearly didn't get to wrap this up anything close to the way he would have liked. He was saddled with the task of working with the worst kind of undermining, smug, little prick in the film set up to be the one that was supposed to do him and his character justice. And the ST is definitely the worst trilogy, I can confidently say that before seeing the final act. That is how god awful disgusting TLJ was. The PT films were not great movies, but as anwe put it at least they weren't made by someone who hated OT Star Wars.

 

[Asta]

Backward RT score right now.

86% from Verified audience.
56% from critics.

Basic consensus, fun film , way too much to absorb in it.

Overall that kind of score usually means its a good, not great film.

We shall see Sunday.

Rotten Tomatoes has a funny way of calculating the score.

The Critic score gets even worse when you click on 'Top Critics' (whoever they are).

 

[TaliBane]

Rotten Tomatoes has a funny way of calculating the score.

The Critic score gets even worse when you click on 'Top Critics' (whoever they are).

View attachment 473607

I never understand why RT doesn't use "top critics" as the default tomatometer instead of "all critics" which includes more sketchy/obscure opinions.

 

[TurdFurgusonsHat]

Rotten Tomatoes has a funny way of calculating the score.

The Critic score gets even worse when you click on 'Top Critics' (whoever they are).

View attachment 473607

Should we blame Russian hacker critics on this?

 

[Nailz]

exactly.

Spoiler

he actually held the upper hand vs. Rey - she was winded & had gone down on her knees in a defensive (almost defenseless) position, but right before kylo was going to strike he heard/saw his mother and was distracted. It was at that point that rey ran him through.

lmfaoooo martha!?