Star Wars: The Acolyte

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We definitely did not get the full story of what happened in the coven. I think they only showed us the events from what Osha saw (from a certain point of view, if you will). I think this is the reason why we got this whole section as one episode rather than flashbacks throughout, although it did pretty much kill the momentum that episodes 1 and 2 built up.

Just for the sake of making the show more interesting, I certainly hope there's another side of the flashback that we haven't seen yet. We haven't seen what the Jedi were doing on the planet. I think there's more story to tell there about why the coven went into hiding.

I'm curious about the Nighsisters' involvement or lack thereof. They seem like a very closely related group, and since Filoni brought them into the Ahsoka show, I wonder why they weren't used here. Maybe they just wanted to expand the universe. I guess that was one of the minor complaints about the Star Wars universe is that in a whole galaxy of possibilities, we keep seeing the same groups over and over again.
 
I agree on the expanding the force groups idea. I thought at first they were nightsisters, but I don't think they are. This also could have been part of the greater sith plan: winnow down the number of "other" force wielders to just the jedi. Palpatine orchestrated the destruction of the nightsisters during the clone wars. So this could have been going on for who knows how long behind the scenes.
 
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Forbes were one of the few among the Critics on Rotten Tomatoes to resist towing the pro-Disney line and write what they really thought about The Acolyte.

Erik KainForbes
Rotten score.
'The Acolyte' is a deeply bland, relentlessly mediocre 'Star Wars' show that pairs some cool fight scenes with wooden dialogue and a predictable mystery.
Jun 7, 2024


Their full review:

The Critics Must Be Crazy — ‘The Acolyte’ Is Just Another Mediocre ‘Star Wars’ Show​

Erik Kain
Senior Contributor
I write about TV shows, movies, video games, entertainment & culture.

Updated Jun 7, 2024, 01:06pm EDT

The critics must be crazy. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. This time, it’s Star Wars: The Acolyte that has aroused the profoundly odd sensibilities of the professional media class. That and the broken aggregation system that is Rotten Tomatoes.



The latest show from the House Of Mouse is fine (at best) but you wouldn’t know it perusing the internet. Behold:


That’s a wide divide. There are many reasons for it. We’ll get there momentarily. First:


A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away . . .

Seriously, it was a long time ago. 100 years before the rise of the Empire. The Acolyte takes place in the High Republic’s final days, just before the long era of peace and prosperity came crashing down into turmoil and strife—at least partly thanks to the arrogance of the Jedi Order itself. Partly, too, thanks to a mysterious new villain who (we can only hope) turns out to be Darth Plagueis.


It’s a cool idea for a new Star Wars setting that before now we’ve only seen in games, comics and books. We’ve been stuck in the Skywalker era for so long. Even a show like Andor which has no Jedi and never mentions the Force or Luke Skywalker, still takes place within the years of the Imperial rise and fall. It’s a breath of fresh air to see a Star Wars show actually branch out.

Unfortunately, The Acolyte retains many of the franchise’s worst habits and does next to nothing with the new setting that makes it actually feel new. This could be set two years before the prequel trilogy and nobody would be the wiser.


I wrote a review covering the first two episodes of the show before I’d watched the next two. You can read that right here. It’ll catch you up on the story without too many spoilers. I was tentatively optimistic after two episodes. I’ve become decidedly less so after four. Quite frankly, even if the final four episodes of the season turn out to be fantastic, the first four will hold it back from greatness. And how often does a series get that much better in its second half?

Disney and the show’s creators have billed this series as a “darker” delve into Star Wars. Critics have echoed this sentiment, calling it a show that makes “bold choices.” Inverse says that The Acolyte is “An experimental, galvanizing standalone story that establishes a new caliber of what Star Wars TV can do.” Galvanizing! New caliber!

Gosh, we must be watching different shows.

Elsewhere we get such quotes as:



  • “'The Acolyte' presents in its first few episodes, a dashing adventure of mystery, action, impressive fight sequences and a cat and mouse game that keeps you intrigued from one episode to the next.”
  • “Showrunner Leslye Headland, best known as the co-creator of the Netflix series Russian Doll, breathes new life into the Star Wars universe with The Acolyte.”
  • “[Leslye] Headland has created one of the best Star Wars series to date making it a character driven revenge story over one relying on copious action scenes, light sabers battles or legacy characters to drive the series.”


Again, I feel like I’m living in an alternative universe reading these, one in which being a critic no longer requires you to be critical, but rather rewards you for simply liking the Right Things and disliking the Wrong Things. One of these quotes gushes over the “impressive fight sequences” while another says it doesn’t rely on “copious action scenes.” But really, the number of reviews calling this some version of a “compelling mystery” or a “riveting thriller” or “STAR WARS HAS NEVER DONE THIS THING BEFORE’ simply boggles my mind. None of this is even remotely true. I say this as someone who has been mildly entertained by this series so far and will gladly watch the next four episodes. But really, you have to be realistic about these things. The only ground being broken here is in the cemetery where they bury our hopes and dreams.

Nothing here, beyond the era, is actually all that new. And very little about it is particularly compelling or well-written. It is, however, very, very diverse and I suspect that this focus on diversity drives a great deal of both the positive critical reception and negative audience reviews. When you commit so utterly to making a social cause the thing that defines your show, you effectively guarantee that it becomes just another shouting match in the never-ending culture wars. As I’ve noted elsewhere, there are better ways to approach this (Andor!)

Many positive critic reviews are . . . less crazy, however. They’re marked Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, but they include phrases such as:





There are tons of these, and because Rotten Tomatoes is a binary—Rotten or Fresh—there’s no middle-ground upon which they can fall. Another juicy tomato: Many critics don’t even pick whether their review should be regarded as “Fresh” or “Rotten.” They have that option, but Rotten Tomatoes can also just pick that for you instead. I discuss other issues with the review aggregator in the video below:

The Acolyte Is Bombing With Audiences​

Audience scores reflect another extreme. At 39% (as of this writing) the show is decidedly rotten. Is that an accurate representation of actual audience opinions? Are people just mad because The Acolyte is so diverse? The Star Wars reddit doesn’t seem too upset or too thrilled. I get an overall sense of ‘meh’. Maybe not 39% but far, far from 93%.

Whatever you might think on this front, most of the complaints I’ve seen so far don’t focus on the diversity issue, but rather on the stilted dialogue, predictable plotting and so forth. Mostly, longtime Star Wars fans just continue to feel generally deflated by the overall mediocrity and lack of ambition that Disney is bringing to the table. A sampling:



  • “The show was watchable, which was an improvement over Obi-Wan and the listless Ahsoka but there is no sign of genuine creative ambition in this show and it suffers from the same sense of weightlessness and lack of dramatic sense as Ahsoka. The characters don't grab my interest and I haven't spent two seconds thinking about the plot during or after watching.”
  • “Ugh. This is as bad as you've heard. Visually, it looks...OK, I guess? The fights are fine but being massively overrated by Disney-friendly media. The rest is a garbage fire. Terrible acting, weird pacing, bargain basement writing, and pointless changes to Star Wars mythology. It just "feels" wrong throughout, even compared to other Disney Star Wars”
  • “Having thus far watched the first 2 episodes the show is just very....eh. Like a lot of folks are saying the score is fantastic & it's probably the highlight. But good sound can't carry a show. Thus far the characters are all a bit bland - I'm hopeful of further character development in the next episode.”


I’ll have more to say about the core, fundamental problems with The Acolyte in a separate post now that I’ve watched the first four episodes, but I have to largely agree with these commenters. It’s just incredibly underwhelming. The critics gushing praise for this series sound out of touch with Star Wars and its fandom (and what makes it tick!) and really out of touch with good writing in general. The Acolyte is just okay. It might get better; it might get worse. Maybe the back half of the season will blow our minds. But right now? The Acolyte is just a deeply bland Star Wars series with some cool fight scenes and a handful of cool characters who I’m afraid will ultimately be wasted, just like the cast of the sequel trilogy.

I’ve written about this before, and I’ll say it again: Relentless mediocrity is what’s killing Star Wars and Marvel and DC and so much of pop culture. The majority of Disney’s Star Wars shows and movies have been watered-down and disappointing affairs that seem to want to capitalize on the property without bothering to understand what makes us love it to begin with. They have just enough redeeming qualities to prevent them from being truly terrible. Mostly, they’re just bland and forgettable and lacking the great charm and heroics that made the original trilogy such an iconic entry in the history of cinema.

What a shame. It could have been so much better, so much more. The unlikely existence of Andor proves my point. A diamond in the rough. Or as the Mandalorian would put it: This is the way.


Forbes' review of Episode 3:


‘The Acolyte’ Episode 3 Review: One Of The Most Disappointing ‘Star Wars’ Episodes Ever Made​

Erik Kain
Senior Contributor
I write about TV shows, movies, video games, entertainment & culture.



Jun 11, 2024,10:06pm EDT

Updated Jun 12, 2024, 02:58am EDT



The third episode of Disney’s The Acolyte is an embarrassment to the entire franchise, though the same could be said for so much Star Wars these days outside of Andor and the first two seasons of The Mandalorian.


Here’s one exchange between two characters in this latest episode:

Mae: “The Jedi are bad!”

Osha: “The Jedi are good!”

Later, the same two characters—the twin protagonist/antagonists of the story, as children in this flashback episode—say to one another: “What have you done?” “What have you done?” “What have YOU DONE?”

I want to ask Disney the same question: What have you done?

This entire episode is a bad joke. We learn that Mae and Osha lived with their mothers in a society of witches, all of whom are female. It appears they were conceived using the Force. Or something. Force-using witches are also apparently frowned upon in this galaxy. They call the Force, the Thread. I’m getting Dark Side vibes here, though I’m also getting the sense that this show will try to be all edgy and make the Jedi out to be the bad guys. Which we’ve seen play out about half a dozen times at this point.

Osha and Mae fight with one another constantly and are very, very irritating throughout the episode. Osha wants to leave her people and Mae wants to stay. When the Jedi show up and ask to test the girls for their Force powers, they agree to fake not having any, but Jedi Master Sol convinces Osha not to lie, and she says she wants to be a Jedi and leave with them, against her mothers’ wishes.

Mae is upset and threatens to kill her sister, locking her in their chambers and burning the entire witch village to the ground, apparently killing everyone. It seems clear that there’s more to the story, that somehow the four Jedi—Indara, King Tommen, Wookie Jedi and Sol—are somehow complicit.


Sol saves Osha and they escape. Mae appears to fall to her death, but we know better since this is the third episode.

What a disaster.

Scattered thoughts:

  • IGN says this episode offers up “a lot of tantalizing new layers to how we perceive both the Jedi and the Force” and I would like to know if we use different versions of the word “tantalizing.”
  • I’m confused about the entire motivation of Mae, who wants revenge on the Jedi but is actually the one responsible for killing everybody—if, that is, anyone is actually dead (after all, both twins thought the other one was dead—it seems likely none of the witches died at all). Even if she didn’t burn everyone to death, she certainly started a fire that she certainly must believe killed Osha at the very least.
  • The Jedi in episode 2 killed himself over this, it seems. If there’s not more to the story this will make absolutely no sense whatsoever.
  • The witch chant was one of the lamest chants in the history of all chants. I wanted to giggle maniacally listening to it. I also wanted to cry.
  • The Nightsisters are better witches. Merrin, from Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order and Survivor, is a better female witch character than anyone on this show.
  • This show had something like $180 million for its budget and I cannot for the life of me tell where any of it has gone. Every world feels small. Every set feels claustrophobic. There is no sense of scale or variety. It’s all so relentlessly generic. But hey, lightsabers!
  • Rewatching the escape with Sol and Osha, this room with the pile of bodies is clearly not from a fire, so yeah there’s more to this. But that doesn’t change how ludicrous the whole “I’ll kill you!” bit is, and how Mae very much tried to burn her sister to death. (Of course, it could also be bad production design, in which case maybe they did die from a fire. Or smoke?)

Regardless, what a weird way to end the episode. The girls fight. The fire spreads throughout what appears to be a stone cave (stone!) and then suddenly they’re passing all these bodies. We didn’t hear any commotion or screaming or battle. It’s more confusing than intriguing.

Also, what’s up with the tree?

Someone has captured the chant footage. This was put in an actual TV show we’re supposed to take seriously (second tweet):





jacob.
·
Jun 12, 2024
@jtimsuggs
·
Follow
Tonight’s episode of #TheAcolyte is honestly GREAT. Such a unique Star Wars story.Feels so unique, yet also reminiscent of The Phantom Menace in so many ways. Really amazing foreshadowing as to what’s to come not just in this story, but years later as well. Loved it!


I have no words.

I do have a theory, however. Imposters have taken over Star Wars (and lots of other popular genre properties, from The Witcher to True Detective). Maybe they’re fans, maybe they’re not but they’re certainly masquerading as good storytellers. And they think they know best, making whatever changes they see fit to “make it their own”.

As Game Of Thrones author George R.R. Martin wrote recently:

Everywhere you look, there are more screenwriters and producers eager to take great stories and “make them their own.” It does not seem to matter whether the source material was written by Stan Lee, Charles Dickens, Ian Fleming, Roald Dahl, Ursula K. Le Guin, J.R.R. Tolkien, Mark Twain, Raymond Chandler, Jane Austen, or… well, anyone. No matter how major a writer it is, no matter how great the book, there always seems to be someone on hand who thinks he can do better, eager to take the story and “improve” on it. “The book is the book, the film is the film,” they will tell you, as if they were saying something profound. Then they make the story their own.
They never make it better, though. Nine hundred ninety-nine times out of a thousand, they make it worse.
Amen, brother.

I’d say that Star Wars deserves better stewards, but George Lucas didn’t do a very good job of that himself in the later years. In fact, The Acolyte keeps reminding me of the prequel trilogy in all the worst ways.

Ah well. What a shame. I’ll keep watching (obviously) and I really do hope it gets better. In fact, next week’s episode—which is too short and has an annoying cliffhanger ending—is leaps and bounds better than this one. So that’s something to look forward to! Silver linings and all that jazz.


https://www.forbes.com/sites/erikka...review-the-worst-star-wars-episode-ever-made/
 
So at any point in the latest episode is it even hinted that the demonic space witches serve the DARK side of the "Thread?" Or are they presented as good guys? I assume its the latter given that they're female and lesbian and all.
 
Forbes were one of the few among the Critics on Rotten Tomatoes to resist towing the pro-Disney line and write what they really thought about The Acolyte.

Erik KainForbes
Rotten score.
'The Acolyte' is a deeply bland, relentlessly mediocre 'Star Wars' show that pairs some cool fight scenes with wooden dialogue and a predictable mystery.
Jun 7, 2024


Their full review:

The Critics Must Be Crazy — ‘The Acolyte’ Is Just Another Mediocre ‘Star Wars’ Show​

Erik Kain
Senior Contributor
I write about TV shows, movies, video games, entertainment & culture.

Updated Jun 7, 2024, 01:06pm EDT

The critics must be crazy. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. This time, it’s Star Wars: The Acolyte that has aroused the profoundly odd sensibilities of the professional media class. That and the broken aggregation system that is Rotten Tomatoes.



The latest show from the House Of Mouse is fine (at best) but you wouldn’t know it perusing the internet. Behold:


That’s a wide divide. There are many reasons for it. We’ll get there momentarily. First:


A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away . . .

Seriously, it was a long time ago. 100 years before the rise of the Empire. The Acolyte takes place in the High Republic’s final days, just before the long era of peace and prosperity came crashing down into turmoil and strife—at least partly thanks to the arrogance of the Jedi Order itself. Partly, too, thanks to a mysterious new villain who (we can only hope) turns out to be Darth Plagueis.


It’s a cool idea for a new Star Wars setting that before now we’ve only seen in games, comics and books. We’ve been stuck in the Skywalker era for so long. Even a show like Andor which has no Jedi and never mentions the Force or Luke Skywalker, still takes place within the years of the Imperial rise and fall. It’s a breath of fresh air to see a Star Wars show actually branch out.

Unfortunately, The Acolyte retains many of the franchise’s worst habits and does next to nothing with the new setting that makes it actually feel new. This could be set two years before the prequel trilogy and nobody would be the wiser.


I wrote a review covering the first two episodes of the show before I’d watched the next two. You can read that right here. It’ll catch you up on the story without too many spoilers. I was tentatively optimistic after two episodes. I’ve become decidedly less so after four. Quite frankly, even if the final four episodes of the season turn out to be fantastic, the first four will hold it back from greatness. And how often does a series get that much better in its second half?

Disney and the show’s creators have billed this series as a “darker” delve into Star Wars. Critics have echoed this sentiment, calling it a show that makes “bold choices.” Inverse says that The Acolyte is “An experimental, galvanizing standalone story that establishes a new caliber of what Star Wars TV can do.” Galvanizing! New caliber!

Gosh, we must be watching different shows.

Elsewhere we get such quotes as:



  • “'The Acolyte' presents in its first few episodes, a dashing adventure of mystery, action, impressive fight sequences and a cat and mouse game that keeps you intrigued from one episode to the next.”
  • “Showrunner Leslye Headland, best known as the co-creator of the Netflix series Russian Doll, breathes new life into the Star Wars universe with The Acolyte.”
  • “[Leslye] Headland has created one of the best Star Wars series to date making it a character driven revenge story over one relying on copious action scenes, light sabers battles or legacy characters to drive the series.”


Again, I feel like I’m living in an alternative universe reading these, one in which being a critic no longer requires you to be critical, but rather rewards you for simply liking the Right Things and disliking the Wrong Things. One of these quotes gushes over the “impressive fight sequences” while another says it doesn’t rely on “copious action scenes.” But really, the number of reviews calling this some version of a “compelling mystery” or a “riveting thriller” or “STAR WARS HAS NEVER DONE THIS THING BEFORE’ simply boggles my mind. None of this is even remotely true. I say this as someone who has been mildly entertained by this series so far and will gladly watch the next four episodes. But really, you have to be realistic about these things. The only ground being broken here is in the cemetery where they bury our hopes and dreams.

Nothing here, beyond the era, is actually all that new. And very little about it is particularly compelling or well-written. It is, however, very, very diverse and I suspect that this focus on diversity drives a great deal of both the positive critical reception and negative audience reviews. When you commit so utterly to making a social cause the thing that defines your show, you effectively guarantee that it becomes just another shouting match in the never-ending culture wars. As I’ve noted elsewhere, there are better ways to approach this (Andor!)

Many positive critic reviews are . . . less crazy, however. They’re marked Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, but they include phrases such as:





There are tons of these, and because Rotten Tomatoes is a binary—Rotten or Fresh—there’s no middle-ground upon which they can fall. Another juicy tomato: Many critics don’t even pick whether their review should be regarded as “Fresh” or “Rotten.” They have that option, but Rotten Tomatoes can also just pick that for you instead. I discuss other issues with the review aggregator in the video below:

The Acolyte Is Bombing With Audiences​

Audience scores reflect another extreme. At 39% (as of this writing) the show is decidedly rotten. Is that an accurate representation of actual audience opinions? Are people just mad because The Acolyte is so diverse? The Star Wars reddit doesn’t seem too upset or too thrilled. I get an overall sense of ‘meh’. Maybe not 39% but far, far from 93%.

Whatever you might think on this front, most of the complaints I’ve seen so far don’t focus on the diversity issue, but rather on the stilted dialogue, predictable plotting and so forth. Mostly, longtime Star Wars fans just continue to feel generally deflated by the overall mediocrity and lack of ambition that Disney is bringing to the table. A sampling:



  • “The show was watchable, which was an improvement over Obi-Wan and the listless Ahsoka but there is no sign of genuine creative ambition in this show and it suffers from the same sense of weightlessness and lack of dramatic sense as Ahsoka. The characters don't grab my interest and I haven't spent two seconds thinking about the plot during or after watching.”
  • “Ugh. This is as bad as you've heard. Visually, it looks...OK, I guess? The fights are fine but being massively overrated by Disney-friendly media. The rest is a garbage fire. Terrible acting, weird pacing, bargain basement writing, and pointless changes to Star Wars mythology. It just "feels" wrong throughout, even compared to other Disney Star Wars”
  • “Having thus far watched the first 2 episodes the show is just very....eh. Like a lot of folks are saying the score is fantastic & it's probably the highlight. But good sound can't carry a show. Thus far the characters are all a bit bland - I'm hopeful of further character development in the next episode.”


I’ll have more to say about the core, fundamental problems with The Acolyte in a separate post now that I’ve watched the first four episodes, but I have to largely agree with these commenters. It’s just incredibly underwhelming. The critics gushing praise for this series sound out of touch with Star Wars and its fandom (and what makes it tick!) and really out of touch with good writing in general. The Acolyte is just okay. It might get better; it might get worse. Maybe the back half of the season will blow our minds. But right now? The Acolyte is just a deeply bland Star Wars series with some cool fight scenes and a handful of cool characters who I’m afraid will ultimately be wasted, just like the cast of the sequel trilogy.

I’ve written about this before, and I’ll say it again: Relentless mediocrity is what’s killing Star Wars and Marvel and DC and so much of pop culture. The majority of Disney’s Star Wars shows and movies have been watered-down and disappointing affairs that seem to want to capitalize on the property without bothering to understand what makes us love it to begin with. They have just enough redeeming qualities to prevent them from being truly terrible. Mostly, they’re just bland and forgettable and lacking the great charm and heroics that made the original trilogy such an iconic entry in the history of cinema.

What a shame. It could have been so much better, so much more. The unlikely existence of Andor proves my point. A diamond in the rough. Or as the Mandalorian would put it: This is the way.


Forbes' review of Episode 3:


‘The Acolyte’ Episode 3 Review: One Of The Most Disappointing ‘Star Wars’ Episodes Ever Made​

Erik Kain
Senior Contributor
I write about TV shows, movies, video games, entertainment & culture.



Jun 11, 2024,10:06pm EDT

Updated Jun 12, 2024, 02:58am EDT



The third episode of Disney’s The Acolyte is an embarrassment to the entire franchise, though the same could be said for so much Star Wars these days outside of Andor and the first two seasons of The Mandalorian.


Here’s one exchange between two characters in this latest episode:

Mae: “The Jedi are bad!”

Osha: “The Jedi are good!”

Later, the same two characters—the twin protagonist/antagonists of the story, as children in this flashback episode—say to one another: “What have you done?” “What have you done?” “What have YOU DONE?”

I want to ask Disney the same question: What have you done?

This entire episode is a bad joke. We learn that Mae and Osha lived with their mothers in a society of witches, all of whom are female. It appears they were conceived using the Force. Or something. Force-using witches are also apparently frowned upon in this galaxy. They call the Force, the Thread. I’m getting Dark Side vibes here, though I’m also getting the sense that this show will try to be all edgy and make the Jedi out to be the bad guys. Which we’ve seen play out about half a dozen times at this point.

Osha and Mae fight with one another constantly and are very, very irritating throughout the episode. Osha wants to leave her people and Mae wants to stay. When the Jedi show up and ask to test the girls for their Force powers, they agree to fake not having any, but Jedi Master Sol convinces Osha not to lie, and she says she wants to be a Jedi and leave with them, against her mothers’ wishes.

Mae is upset and threatens to kill her sister, locking her in their chambers and burning the entire witch village to the ground, apparently killing everyone. It seems clear that there’s more to the story, that somehow the four Jedi—Indara, King Tommen, Wookie Jedi and Sol—are somehow complicit.


Sol saves Osha and they escape. Mae appears to fall to her death, but we know better since this is the third episode.

What a disaster.

Scattered thoughts:

  • IGN says this episode offers up “a lot of tantalizing new layers to how we perceive both the Jedi and the Force” and I would like to know if we use different versions of the word “tantalizing.”
  • I’m confused about the entire motivation of Mae, who wants revenge on the Jedi but is actually the one responsible for killing everybody—if, that is, anyone is actually dead (after all, both twins thought the other one was dead—it seems likely none of the witches died at all). Even if she didn’t burn everyone to death, she certainly started a fire that she certainly must believe killed Osha at the very least.
  • The Jedi in episode 2 killed himself over this, it seems. If there’s not more to the story this will make absolutely no sense whatsoever.
  • The witch chant was one of the lamest chants in the history of all chants. I wanted to giggle maniacally listening to it. I also wanted to cry.
  • The Nightsisters are better witches. Merrin, from Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order and Survivor, is a better female witch character than anyone on this show.
  • This show had something like $180 million for its budget and I cannot for the life of me tell where any of it has gone. Every world feels small. Every set feels claustrophobic. There is no sense of scale or variety. It’s all so relentlessly generic. But hey, lightsabers!
  • Rewatching the escape with Sol and Osha, this room with the pile of bodies is clearly not from a fire, so yeah there’s more to this. But that doesn’t change how ludicrous the whole “I’ll kill you!” bit is, and how Mae very much tried to burn her sister to death. (Of course, it could also be bad production design, in which case maybe they did die from a fire. Or smoke?)

Regardless, what a weird way to end the episode. The girls fight. The fire spreads throughout what appears to be a stone cave (stone!) and then suddenly they’re passing all these bodies. We didn’t hear any commotion or screaming or battle. It’s more confusing than intriguing.

Also, what’s up with the tree?

Someone has captured the chant footage. This was put in an actual TV show we’re supposed to take seriously (second tweet):





jacob.
·
Jun 12, 2024
@jtimsuggs
·
Follow
Tonight’s episode of #TheAcolyte is honestly GREAT. Such a unique Star Wars story.Feels so unique, yet also reminiscent of The Phantom Menace in so many ways. Really amazing foreshadowing as to what’s to come not just in this story, but years later as well. Loved it!


I have no words.

I do have a theory, however. Imposters have taken over Star Wars (and lots of other popular genre properties, from The Witcher to True Detective). Maybe they’re fans, maybe they’re not but they’re certainly masquerading as good storytellers. And they think they know best, making whatever changes they see fit to “make it their own”.

As Game Of Thrones author George R.R. Martin wrote recently:




Amen, brother.

I’d say that Star Wars deserves better stewards, but George Lucas didn’t do a very good job of that himself in the later years. In fact, The Acolyte keeps reminding me of the prequel trilogy in all the worst ways.

Ah well. What a shame. I’ll keep watching (obviously) and I really do hope it gets better. In fact, next week’s episode—which is too short and has an annoying cliffhanger ending—is leaps and bounds better than this one. So that’s something to look forward to! Silver linings and all that jazz.


https://www.forbes.com/sites/erikka...review-the-worst-star-wars-episode-ever-made/


Everyone needs to read this...
 
Anyone want to actually, oh I don't know, talk about the plot?
I don't - or at least not much; since the writers IMO are probably trying for a ratcheting big reveal in a clunky fashion.

E.g. one or more of the Jedi offed the whole coven, maybe by accident, a "secret" that was already blown by the writers.

Leaving good twin to 1) decide whether she has to kill her sister and 2) give a (bad) speech about how she was lied to and go off in a huff e.g. the whole Ahsoka arc. Mirroring Headland herself (self-insert) going off to find an "alternative lifestyle" and feel superior while doing so.

The rest is just details and Sol wallowing in guilt. I don't expect much at this point, from writers that, as one Y-tuber rightly pointed out, they couldn't even come up with a basic chant 😁 that wasn't lame cringe. The real world is full of, yah know, books ripping off Tolkien, video games, other movies, that can at least some up with reasonable sing-song chants. That was gawd-awful.

"Those that are dead will never die!" "Two men enter, one man leaves!" "A Elbereth Gilthoniel!" "Deshi Deshi Basara Basara!" "The Sea is Always Right!!!":monkey3

  • This show had something like $180 million for its budget and I cannot for the life of me tell where any of it has gone. Every world feels small. Every set feels claustrophobic. There is no sense of scale or variety. It’s all so relentlessly generic. But hey, lightsabers!
Yeah, it's weird, I don't get the feeling of "other" or that this show predates the PT. Not like Mandalorian's Nevarro where I FELT the grease, pools of mud, that drug user? in an alley, it felt like the back of beyond.

But Forbes shouldn't be confused; apparently at the better critic screenings there are buffets and drinks - give me a free upscale buffet and I can write some dribble about this "groundbreaking" series. Will there be those mini crab cakes and those steak slider things, with drinks?

Tacos Buffet GIF by ABC Network
 
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So at any point in the latest episode is it even hinted that the demonic space witches serve the DARK side of the "Thread?" Or are they presented as good guys? I assume its the latter given that they're female and lesbian and all.
Well they do specifically present them as one being dark side and the other being light side which is just a copy of the force user family from the clone wars show.

The the one who carried the child the lady with the horns on her head had a more strict darker war mongering attitude while the other mother was more light sided peaceful negotiator kind of person.
 
So at any point in the latest episode is it even hinted that the demonic space witches serve the DARK side of the "Thread?" Or are they presented as good guys? I assume its the latter given that they're female and lesbian and all.
The former.
 
Well they do specifically present them as one being dark side and the other being light side which is just a copy of the force user family from the clone wars show.

The the one who carried the child the lady with the horns on her head had a more strict darker war mongering attitude while the other mother was more light sided peaceful negotiator kind of person.
Ah, Light female and Dark female, two sides of the all female coin. :lol

:slap
 
Remember, Hedland said she just loved the story of Frozen.

So most likely good twin is gonna save/redeem bad twin, and together they're gonna take down evil mask character (who with a twist will end up being either Mother 1 or Mother 2) then go back to their home planet and restart the Lesbian Space Witch coven.... And the all female cult Matriarchy will live happily ever after in a Galaxy Far, Far Away....

It's like poetry, it rhymes...

:clap
 
Remember, Hedland said she just loved the story of Frozen.

So most likely good twin is gonna save/redeem bad twin, and together they're gonna take down evil mask character (who with a twist will end up being either Mother 1 or Mother 2) then go back to their home planet and restart the Lesbian Space Witch coven.... And the all female cult Matriarchy will live happily ever after in a Galaxy Far, Far Away....



:clap
:monkey2 Yep. Since I guess this is supposed to be some sort of embarrassing story/message to this sister of hers who wisely is laying low.
The cringe factor could destroy planets.:stake
Disney:

Money Burn GIF by nog
 
So at any point in the latest episode is it even hinted that the demonic space witches serve the DARK side of the "Thread?" Or are they presented as good guys? I assume its the latter given that they're female and lesbian and all.
I took it as they consider themselves neither good nor bad... so force neutral, I guess? :dunno
 
Forbes were one of the few among the Critics on Rotten Tomatoes to resist towing the pro-Disney line and write what they really thought about The Acolyte.

Erik KainForbes
Rotten score.
'The Acolyte' is a deeply bland, relentlessly mediocre 'Star Wars' show that pairs some cool fight scenes with wooden dialogue and a predictable mystery.
Jun 7, 2024


Their full review:

The Critics Must Be Crazy — ‘The Acolyte’ Is Just Another Mediocre ‘Star Wars’ Show​

Erik Kain
Senior Contributor
I write about TV shows, movies, video games, entertainment & culture.

Updated Jun 7, 2024, 01:06pm EDT

The critics must be crazy. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. This time, it’s Star Wars: The Acolyte that has aroused the profoundly odd sensibilities of the professional media class. That and the broken aggregation system that is Rotten Tomatoes.



The latest show from the House Of Mouse is fine (at best) but you wouldn’t know it perusing the internet. Behold:


That’s a wide divide. There are many reasons for it. We’ll get there momentarily. First:


A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away . . .

Seriously, it was a long time ago. 100 years before the rise of the Empire. The Acolyte takes place in the High Republic’s final days, just before the long era of peace and prosperity came crashing down into turmoil and strife—at least partly thanks to the arrogance of the Jedi Order itself. Partly, too, thanks to a mysterious new villain who (we can only hope) turns out to be Darth Plagueis.


It’s a cool idea for a new Star Wars setting that before now we’ve only seen in games, comics and books. We’ve been stuck in the Skywalker era for so long. Even a show like Andor which has no Jedi and never mentions the Force or Luke Skywalker, still takes place within the years of the Imperial rise and fall. It’s a breath of fresh air to see a Star Wars show actually branch out.

Unfortunately, The Acolyte retains many of the franchise’s worst habits and does next to nothing with the new setting that makes it actually feel new. This could be set two years before the prequel trilogy and nobody would be the wiser.


I wrote a review covering the first two episodes of the show before I’d watched the next two. You can read that right here. It’ll catch you up on the story without too many spoilers. I was tentatively optimistic after two episodes. I’ve become decidedly less so after four. Quite frankly, even if the final four episodes of the season turn out to be fantastic, the first four will hold it back from greatness. And how often does a series get that much better in its second half?

Disney and the show’s creators have billed this series as a “darker” delve into Star Wars. Critics have echoed this sentiment, calling it a show that makes “bold choices.” Inverse says that The Acolyte is “An experimental, galvanizing standalone story that establishes a new caliber of what Star Wars TV can do.” Galvanizing! New caliber!

Gosh, we must be watching different shows.

Elsewhere we get such quotes as:



  • “'The Acolyte' presents in its first few episodes, a dashing adventure of mystery, action, impressive fight sequences and a cat and mouse game that keeps you intrigued from one episode to the next.”
  • “Showrunner Leslye Headland, best known as the co-creator of the Netflix series Russian Doll, breathes new life into the Star Wars universe with The Acolyte.”
  • “[Leslye] Headland has created one of the best Star Wars series to date making it a character driven revenge story over one relying on copious action scenes, light sabers battles or legacy characters to drive the series.”


Again, I feel like I’m living in an alternative universe reading these, one in which being a critic no longer requires you to be critical, but rather rewards you for simply liking the Right Things and disliking the Wrong Things. One of these quotes gushes over the “impressive fight sequences” while another says it doesn’t rely on “copious action scenes.” But really, the number of reviews calling this some version of a “compelling mystery” or a “riveting thriller” or “STAR WARS HAS NEVER DONE THIS THING BEFORE’ simply boggles my mind. None of this is even remotely true. I say this as someone who has been mildly entertained by this series so far and will gladly watch the next four episodes. But really, you have to be realistic about these things. The only ground being broken here is in the cemetery where they bury our hopes and dreams.

Nothing here, beyond the era, is actually all that new. And very little about it is particularly compelling or well-written. It is, however, very, very diverse and I suspect that this focus on diversity drives a great deal of both the positive critical reception and negative audience reviews. When you commit so utterly to making a social cause the thing that defines your show, you effectively guarantee that it becomes just another shouting match in the never-ending culture wars. As I’ve noted elsewhere, there are better ways to approach this (Andor!)

Many positive critic reviews are . . . less crazy, however. They’re marked Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, but they include phrases such as:





There are tons of these, and because Rotten Tomatoes is a binary—Rotten or Fresh—there’s no middle-ground upon which they can fall. Another juicy tomato: Many critics don’t even pick whether their review should be regarded as “Fresh” or “Rotten.” They have that option, but Rotten Tomatoes can also just pick that for you instead. I discuss other issues with the review aggregator in the video below:

The Acolyte Is Bombing With Audiences​

Audience scores reflect another extreme. At 39% (as of this writing) the show is decidedly rotten. Is that an accurate representation of actual audience opinions? Are people just mad because The Acolyte is so diverse? The Star Wars reddit doesn’t seem too upset or too thrilled. I get an overall sense of ‘meh’. Maybe not 39% but far, far from 93%.

Whatever you might think on this front, most of the complaints I’ve seen so far don’t focus on the diversity issue, but rather on the stilted dialogue, predictable plotting and so forth. Mostly, longtime Star Wars fans just continue to feel generally deflated by the overall mediocrity and lack of ambition that Disney is bringing to the table. A sampling:



  • “The show was watchable, which was an improvement over Obi-Wan and the listless Ahsoka but there is no sign of genuine creative ambition in this show and it suffers from the same sense of weightlessness and lack of dramatic sense as Ahsoka. The characters don't grab my interest and I haven't spent two seconds thinking about the plot during or after watching.”
  • “Ugh. This is as bad as you've heard. Visually, it looks...OK, I guess? The fights are fine but being massively overrated by Disney-friendly media. The rest is a garbage fire. Terrible acting, weird pacing, bargain basement writing, and pointless changes to Star Wars mythology. It just "feels" wrong throughout, even compared to other Disney Star Wars”
  • “Having thus far watched the first 2 episodes the show is just very....eh. Like a lot of folks are saying the score is fantastic & it's probably the highlight. But good sound can't carry a show. Thus far the characters are all a bit bland - I'm hopeful of further character development in the next episode.”


I’ll have more to say about the core, fundamental problems with The Acolyte in a separate post now that I’ve watched the first four episodes, but I have to largely agree with these commenters. It’s just incredibly underwhelming. The critics gushing praise for this series sound out of touch with Star Wars and its fandom (and what makes it tick!) and really out of touch with good writing in general. The Acolyte is just okay. It might get better; it might get worse. Maybe the back half of the season will blow our minds. But right now? The Acolyte is just a deeply bland Star Wars series with some cool fight scenes and a handful of cool characters who I’m afraid will ultimately be wasted, just like the cast of the sequel trilogy.

I’ve written about this before, and I’ll say it again: Relentless mediocrity is what’s killing Star Wars and Marvel and DC and so much of pop culture. The majority of Disney’s Star Wars shows and movies have been watered-down and disappointing affairs that seem to want to capitalize on the property without bothering to understand what makes us love it to begin with. They have just enough redeeming qualities to prevent them from being truly terrible. Mostly, they’re just bland and forgettable and lacking the great charm and heroics that made the original trilogy such an iconic entry in the history of cinema.

What a shame. It could have been so much better, so much more. The unlikely existence of Andor proves my point. A diamond in the rough. Or as the Mandalorian would put it: This is the way.


Forbes' review of Episode 3:


‘The Acolyte’ Episode 3 Review: One Of The Most Disappointing ‘Star Wars’ Episodes Ever Made​

Erik Kain
Senior Contributor
I write about TV shows, movies, video games, entertainment & culture.



Jun 11, 2024,10:06pm EDT

Updated Jun 12, 2024, 02:58am EDT



The third episode of Disney’s The Acolyte is an embarrassment to the entire franchise, though the same could be said for so much Star Wars these days outside of Andor and the first two seasons of The Mandalorian.


Here’s one exchange between two characters in this latest episode:

Mae: “The Jedi are bad!”

Osha: “The Jedi are good!”

Later, the same two characters—the twin protagonist/antagonists of the story, as children in this flashback episode—say to one another: “What have you done?” “What have you done?” “What have YOU DONE?”

I want to ask Disney the same question: What have you done?

This entire episode is a bad joke. We learn that Mae and Osha lived with their mothers in a society of witches, all of whom are female. It appears they were conceived using the Force. Or something. Force-using witches are also apparently frowned upon in this galaxy. They call the Force, the Thread. I’m getting Dark Side vibes here, though I’m also getting the sense that this show will try to be all edgy and make the Jedi out to be the bad guys. Which we’ve seen play out about half a dozen times at this point.

Osha and Mae fight with one another constantly and are very, very irritating throughout the episode. Osha wants to leave her people and Mae wants to stay. When the Jedi show up and ask to test the girls for their Force powers, they agree to fake not having any, but Jedi Master Sol convinces Osha not to lie, and she says she wants to be a Jedi and leave with them, against her mothers’ wishes.

Mae is upset and threatens to kill her sister, locking her in their chambers and burning the entire witch village to the ground, apparently killing everyone. It seems clear that there’s more to the story, that somehow the four Jedi—Indara, King Tommen, Wookie Jedi and Sol—are somehow complicit.


Sol saves Osha and they escape. Mae appears to fall to her death, but we know better since this is the third episode.

What a disaster.

Scattered thoughts:

  • IGN says this episode offers up “a lot of tantalizing new layers to how we perceive both the Jedi and the Force” and I would like to know if we use different versions of the word “tantalizing.”
  • I’m confused about the entire motivation of Mae, who wants revenge on the Jedi but is actually the one responsible for killing everybody—if, that is, anyone is actually dead (after all, both twins thought the other one was dead—it seems likely none of the witches died at all). Even if she didn’t burn everyone to death, she certainly started a fire that she certainly must believe killed Osha at the very least.
  • The Jedi in episode 2 killed himself over this, it seems. If there’s not more to the story this will make absolutely no sense whatsoever.
  • The witch chant was one of the lamest chants in the history of all chants. I wanted to giggle maniacally listening to it. I also wanted to cry.
  • The Nightsisters are better witches. Merrin, from Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order and Survivor, is a better female witch character than anyone on this show.
  • This show had something like $180 million for its budget and I cannot for the life of me tell where any of it has gone. Every world feels small. Every set feels claustrophobic. There is no sense of scale or variety. It’s all so relentlessly generic. But hey, lightsabers!
  • Rewatching the escape with Sol and Osha, this room with the pile of bodies is clearly not from a fire, so yeah there’s more to this. But that doesn’t change how ludicrous the whole “I’ll kill you!” bit is, and how Mae very much tried to burn her sister to death. (Of course, it could also be bad production design, in which case maybe they did die from a fire. Or smoke?)

Regardless, what a weird way to end the episode. The girls fight. The fire spreads throughout what appears to be a stone cave (stone!) and then suddenly they’re passing all these bodies. We didn’t hear any commotion or screaming or battle. It’s more confusing than intriguing.

Also, what’s up with the tree?

Someone has captured the chant footage. This was put in an actual TV show we’re supposed to take seriously (second tweet):





jacob.
·
Jun 12, 2024
@jtimsuggs
·
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Tonight’s episode of #TheAcolyte is honestly GREAT. Such a unique Star Wars story.Feels so unique, yet also reminiscent of The Phantom Menace in so many ways. Really amazing foreshadowing as to what’s to come not just in this story, but years later as well. Loved it!


I have no words.

I do have a theory, however. Imposters have taken over Star Wars (and lots of other popular genre properties, from The Witcher to True Detective). Maybe they’re fans, maybe they’re not but they’re certainly masquerading as good storytellers. And they think they know best, making whatever changes they see fit to “make it their own”.

As Game Of Thrones author George R.R. Martin wrote recently:




Amen, brother.

I’d say that Star Wars deserves better stewards, but George Lucas didn’t do a very good job of that himself in the later years. In fact, The Acolyte keeps reminding me of the prequel trilogy in all the worst ways.

Ah well. What a shame. I’ll keep watching (obviously) and I really do hope it gets better. In fact, next week’s episode—which is too short and has an annoying cliffhanger ending—is leaps and bounds better than this one. So that’s something to look forward to! Silver linings and all that jazz.


https://www.forbes.com/sites/erikka...review-the-worst-star-wars-episode-ever-made/

"The only ground being broken here is in the cemetery where they bury our hopes and dreams."

This may be my favorite line from any review I've read. :lol
 
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